I Kissed Dating Goodbye
A new attitude toward romance and relationship

Disclaimer: This is just a summary of the book and not the whole content of it... Please go to any Christian book store, go to Boy-Girl-Relationship (BGR) section, and I'm quite sure you'll find this book... Buy it and read it! :)

I Kissed Dating Goodbye is about how to "break up" with dating so your life works for God. it is about the reasons and ways to leave behind the world's lifestyle of dating.

Dating is not sinful and not-to date does not mean you'll never spend time alone with a guy/girl.

Part One: I Kissed Dating Goodbye

1. Smart love
Beyond what feels good, back to what is good

"I'm worth waiting for"

I have no business asking for a girl's heart and affections if I'm not ready to back up my request with a lifelong commitment. Avoid short-term relationship, but get ready for a lifelong commitment.

2. The seven habits of highly defective dating
Recognizing dating's negative tendencies

Don't say you can do your own self-control, it's not enough.

Here is the list of 7 habits of highly defective dating:

1. Dating leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment

2. Dating tends to skip the "friendship" stage of relationship

3. Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love

4. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships

5. Dating, in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future

6. Dating can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness

7. Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character

3. A new Attitude
Five attitude changes to help you avoid defective dating

5 Attitudes that flows from love, purity, and singleness:

1. Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ's love

2. My unmarried years are a gift from God

3. Intimacy is the reward of commitment-I don't need to pursue a romantic relationship before I'm ready for marriage.

4. I cannot "own" someone outside of marriage

5. I will avoid situations that could compromise the purity of my body or mind

Quitting dating game doesn't mean rejecting friendship with the opposite sex, but by quitting dating game, we can seek Him wholeheartedly.

Part Two: The heart of the matter

4. Looking up "love" in God's dictionary
Learning the true definition of love

Read 1 Corinthians 13 regarding love. Committed, sincere, selfless, responsible - all these words describe God's love.

5. The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing
How to keep impatience from robbing you of the gift of singleness

Place your trust in God, that He knows what is best for you. Let's live our todays for His kingdom and entrust our tomorrows to His providence.

6. The direction of Purity
How to get on the road to righteousness

Pointers to help us maintain a direction of purity with both our hearts and our feet

1. Respect the deep significance of physical intimacy

2. Set your standard too high

3. Make the purity of others a priority - Guys make Girls pure, and vice versa.

See the beauty of purity, and you must fight for it.

7. A cleansed past: The room
How Jesus can redeem your past

If you have particular memory that continues to hound you, a memory that makes you feel unworthy of God's love and forgiveness, don't let the past beat you up. If you've repented of all those behaviors, God has promised to remember them no more (Hebrews 8:12). Move on, a lifetime of purity awaits you.

Part Three: Building a new lifestyle

8. Starting with a clean slate
Four important steps for getting on track with God's plan

Steps for starting and maintaining a lifestyle of godliness in relationships:

1. Start with a clean slate - repent from sinful attitudes and behaviors in our relationships

2. Make your parents - or other trusted Christian seniors, as your teammates

3. Establish protective boundaries - Set your boundaries and guidelines for the relationships

4. Check who's whispering in your ear - Keep yourself from outside world influences

9. Just friends in a Just-Do-It world
Keys for keeping your relationships with the opposite sex out of the "Romantic Zone"

Steps for maintaining healthy friendships with the opposite sex:

1. Understand the difference between friendship and intimacy

2. Be inclusive, not exclusive

3. Seek opportunities to serve, not to be entertained

10. Guard your heart
How to fight the pollutants of lust, infatuation, and self-pity

3 major pollutants: lust, infatuation, and self-pity. We must keep your heart pure from all these things with faithful, silent regularity. He will help and sustain us as we trust in Him and faithfully guard our hearts.

11. "You don't date? What are you, nuts?"
What to do when people ask why you don't play the dating game.

1. We should communicate our convictions about dating with humility and from a desire to please God, not to put others down.

2. You don't have to prove someone wrong to do what you know is right

3. Our primary purpose for communicating with others should be their encouragement and growth

When someone ask you why you don't play dating game, respond with kindness, ask God to show those people the same mercy He has shown you.

Part four: Now what?

12. Redeeming the time
Making the most of your singleness

Do things that you can do when you single, hustle when you wait, for example:

practice intimacy (example: with your parents), practice seeking God with others, practice financial responsibility, practice parenthood, practice practical life skills.

We must make sure we "redeem the time" to glorify God

13. Ready for the sack but not for the sacrifice
How to have a biblical and realistic vision of marriage

What is marriage?

1. Marriage is the first institution

2. Marriage depicts the supernatural union between Jesus and the Church

3. Marriage is the event God has selected to consummate all of time

4. Marriage is to be held in honor

14. What matters at fifty?
Character qualities and attitudes that matter most in a life partner

Character qualities:

1. How a person relates to God

2. How a person relates to others (to parents, opposite sex, companions/close friends)

3. Personal discipline (how a person uses time, money, and how he/she take care of his/her own body)

Attitudes:

1. An attitude of willing obedience to God - someone who will listen and act without hesitation to what God is telling him or her

2. An attitude of humility - consider other needs first

3. An attitude of industriousness - see the way a person approach work

4. An attitude of contentment and hopefulness

Trust God to guide us in our decisions and to help us follows through with our commitments. So, what matters at fifty? a more mature character and attitudes.

15. Principled romance
Principles that can guide you from friendship to matrimony

Casual friendship -> Deeper friendship -> purposeful intimacy with integrity -> engagement

Principles to guide us in 4 stages of God-honoring romance

1. Remember your relational responsibilities - relationship with the person you are interested in, relationship with others, and relationship with God, you have responsibility toward each.

2. Seek a deeper friendship stage first - remember, as soon as we unleash our emotions in romantic love, our objective starts to fade. Develop a closer friendship before introducing romance.

3. Watch, wait, and pray - 4 green lights - God's Word, Are you yourself ready, Is this relationship approved by parents/others?, Is this relationship brings God peace to you?

4. Define the relationship's purpose: pursuing marriage - commitment is needed!

5. Honor his/her parents

6. Test and build the relationship in real-life settings

7. Reserve passion for marriage

16. Someday I'll have a story to tell
Writing a love story you'll feel proud to tell

Let's write a love story with your life that you'll fell proud to tell. A story of purity, faith, and selfless love.