#!/bin/bash

NOL=3848
SKIP=11
PROG=`'which' $0`
R=`expr $RANDOM % $NOL`
R=`expr $R + $SKIP`
head -n $R $PROG | tail -n 1
exit 0

All war is deception. by Sun Tzu
Keep hope alive! by Jesse Jackson
Love is a verb. by Author Unknown
Youth has no age. by Pablo Picasso
God is dead. by Friedrich Nietzsche
Time is money. by Benjamin Franklin
The buck stops here. by Harry Truman
All men desire to know. by Aristotle
Hope is a waking dream. by Aristotle
God is a verb. by Buckminster Fuller
Wisdom begins in wonder. by Socrates
I made a wrong mistake. by Yogi Berra
Sex is emotion in motion. by Mae West
Religion is all bunk. by Thomas Edison
Vote early and vote often. by Al Capone
Wit is educated insolence. by Aristotle
The atheist has no hope. by J.F. Clarke
All glory is fleeting. by George Patton
All art is quite useless. by Oscar Wilde
My life is my message. by Mahatma Gandhi
Plato was a bore. by Friedrich Nietzsche
I can live with death. by Evan Spigelman
The crowd makes the ballgame. by Ty Cobb
To think is to differ. by Clarence Darrow
My mind is my own church. by Thomas Paine
Golf is a good walk spoiled. by Mark Twain
A yawn is a silent shout. by GK Chesterton
Peace is its own reward. by Mahatma Gandhi
Love is energy of life. by Robert Browning
I think; therefore I am. by Rene Descartes
Any fool can make a rule. by Henry Thoreau
Get mad, then get over it. by Colin Powell
A man's kiss is his signature. by Mae West
History is more or less bunk. by Henry Ford
Money doesn't talk, it swears. by Bob Dylan
Peace begins with a smile. by Mother Teresa
Friends have all things in common. by Plato
Love is needing to be loved. by John Lennon
It ain't over till it's over. by Yogi Berra
Nature does nothing uselessly. by Aristotle
Only cowards insult dying majesty. by Aesop
Wisdom begins at the end. by Daniel Webster
This is a Christian nation. by Harry Truman
Beauty is a short-lived tyranny. by Socrates
I came, I saw, I conquered. by Julius Caesar
To be awake is to be alive. by Henry Thoreau
Bad men are full of repentance. by Aristotle
Have a vision. Be demanding. by Colin Powell
A kiss may ruin a human life. by Oscar Wilde
The absent are easily refuted. by C.S. Lewis
A lie cannot live. by Martin Luther King Jr.
My friends are my estate. by Emily Dickinson
Wisdom is a sacred communion. by Victor Hugo
My favorite animal is steak. by Fran Lebowitz
The secret to humor is surprise. by Aristotle
There is no 'I' in 'team.'  by Author Unknown
I was in love with loving. by Saint Augustine
Boldness be my friend. by William Shakespeare
Sin is its own punishment. by Saint Augustine
The gods too are fond of a joke. by Aristotle
The argument is at an end. by Saint Augustine
There is time for everything. by Thomas Edison
Our true nationality is mankind. by H.G. Wells
Ability is a poor man's wealth. by John Wooden
Happiness depends upon ourselves. by Aristotle
Love is repaid by love alone! by Mother Teresa
To love beauty is to see light. by Victor Hugo
When in doubt, do it. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
A bad peace is even worse than war. by Tacitus
Toleration is the best religion. by Victor Hugo
Beauty is not caused. It is. by Emily Dickinson
I shut my eyes in order to see. by Paul Gauguin
Forever is composed of nows. by Emily Dickinson
Badness is only spoiled goodness. by C.S. Lewis
What is art but a way of seeing? by Saul Bellow
No woman has an abortion for fun. by Joan Smith
This moment contains all moments. by C.S. Lewis
No sane man will dance. by Marcus Tullius Cicero
A bad beginning makes a bad ending. by Euripides
Alas, I am dying beyond my means. by Oscar Wilde
Beauty is a sign of intelligence. by Andy Warhol
Our intention creates our reality. by Wayne Dyer
Love is friendship set on fire. by Jeremy Taylor
Dualism is a truncated metaphysic. by C.S. Lewis
A nickel isn't worth a dime today. by Yogi Berra
Information is not knowledge. by Albert Einstein
Punctuality is the thief of time. by Oscar Wilde
Our lives teach us who we are. by Salman Rushdie
One swallow does not make a summer. by Aristotle
Exaggeration follows desperation. by Chris Bowyer
Every exit is an entry somewhere. by Tom Stoppard
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. by Mark Twain
Round numbers are always false. by Samuel Johnson
Nothing noble is done without risk. by André Gide
No human thing is of serious importance. by Plato
Every government is a scoundrel. by Henry Mencken
Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. by Leo Tolstoy
To find yourself, think for yourself. by Socrates
Film lovers are sick people. by Francois Truffaut
Man is by nature a political animal. by Aristotle
Chance favors the prepared mind. by Louis Pasteur
If a man can beat you, walk him. by Satchel Paige
You make 'em, I amuse 'em. by Theodor Seuss Geisel
I dote on his very absence. by William Shakespeare
To err is human - but it feels divine. by Mae West
In baseball, you don't know nothin'. by Yogi Berra
Suffrage is the pivotal right. by Susan B. Anthony
How can those who scorn God revere men? by Sun Tzu
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. by Mark Twain
This is like deja vu all over again. by Yogi Berra
There is nothing so stable as change. by Bob Dylan
True friends stab you in the front. by Oscar Wilde
Brevity is the soul of lingerie. by Dorothy Parker
He not busy being born is busy dying. by Bob Dylan
You're never too old to become younger. by Mae West
What's another word for thesaurus? by Steven Wright
Men are born to succeed, not fail. by Henry Thoreau
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. by Mark Twain
Hitting is 50% above the shoulders. by Ted Williams
Andy Warhol made fame more famous. by Fran Lebowitz
Those whom the gods love grow young. by Oscar Wilde
If we don't end war, war will end us. by H.G. Wells
We make war that we may live in peace. by Aristotle
Trouble shared is trouble halved. by Dorothy Sayers
An unexamined life is not worth living. by Socrates
Get busy living, or get busy dying. by Stephen King
A leader is a dealer in hope. by Napoleon Bonaparte
He listens well who takes notes. by Dante Alighieri
In the end, everything is a gag. by Charlie Chaplin
Everything you want also wants you. by Jack Canfield
Skepticism is the beginning of faith. by Oscar Wilde
Lead, follow, or get out of the way. by Thomas Paine
Advertising is the life of trade. by Calvin Coolidge
Lost time is never found again. by Benjamin Franklin
Learning without thought is labor lost. by Confucius
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. by Groucho Marx
The only paradise is paradise lost. by Marcel Proust
God is clever, but not dishonest. by Albert Einstein
I didn't really say everything I said. by Yogi Berra
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. by George Carlin
Baseball and malaria keep coming back. by Gene Mauch
Courage is grace under pressure. by Ernest Hemingway
Fiction is the truth inside the lie. by Stephen King
Duty is what one expects from others. by Oscar Wilde
What do you know and how do you know it? by Ayn Rand
Parting is such sweet sorrow. by William Shakespeare
Everything you can imagine is real. by Pablo Picasso
What you cannot enforce, do not command. by Socrates
Never mistake motion for action. by Ernest Hemingway
A penny saved is a penny earned. by Benjamin Franklin
More than kisses, letters mingle souls. by John Donne
Duty cannot exist without faith. by Benjamin Disraeli
I am not a has-been. I am a will be. by Lauren Bacall
God's colors all are fast. by John Greenleaf Whittier
A President cannot always be popular. by Harry Truman
The biggest risk is not taking one. by Author Unknown
Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. by Henry Kissinger
An angry man is unfit to pray. by Nachman of Bratslav
You can observe a lot just by watchin'. by Yogi Berra
Time makes more converts than reason. by Thomas Paine
Do, or do not. There is no 'try.' by Jedi Master Yoda
Humor is the most engaging cowardice. by Robert Frost
Only Americans can hurt America. by Dwight Eisenhower
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. by Jimi Hendrix
TV is chewing gum for the eyes. by Frank Lloyd Wright
Art is the lie that tells the truth. by Pablo Picasso
The purpose of all wars, is peace. by Saint Augustine
Great liars are also great magicians. by Adolf Hitler
Real love stories never have endings. by Richard Bach
Fear makes us feel our humanity. by Benjamin Disraeli
I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor. by Roger Moore
All splendid things are rare. by Marcus Tullius Cicero
You may delay, but time will not. by Benjamin Franklin
Let him who desires peace prepare for war. by Vegetius
He is able who thinks he is able. by Siddhartha Buddha
The path to youth takes a whole life. by Pablo Picasso
Nothing you can't spell will ever work. by Will Rogers
Great ideas originate in the muscles. by Thomas Edison
Journalism is literature in a hurry. by Matthew Arnold
Women should be obscene and not heard. by Groucho Marx
The curve is more powerful than the sword. by Mae West
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. by Woody Allen
A brain has to digest its food, too. by Jason Mechalek
Never confuse motion with action. by Benjamin Franklin
The people are their own liberators. by Nelson Mandela
If he's so smart, how come he's dead? by Homer Simpson
There is no substitute for hard work. by Thomas Edison
Perfect humility dispenses with modesty. by C.S. Lewis
The soul of man is immortal and imperishable. by Plato
It ain't braggin' if you can back it up. by Dizzy Dean
Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff. by Harvey Pekar
Character is what you are in the dark. by John Whorfin
A loving heart is the truest wisdom. by Charles Dickens
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.  by Mae West
Death is not the worst than can happen to men. by Plato
We need not think alike to love alike. by Francis David
The business of America is business. by Calvin Coolidge
I just want to do God's will. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Blood is the ink of our life's story. by Jason Mechalek
Criticism is prejudice made plausible. by Henry Mencken
Great is the guilt of an unnecessary war. by John Adams
Bad artists copy. Great artists steal. by Pablo Picasso
All virtue is summed up in dealing justly. by Aristotle
The days you work are the best days. by Georgia O'Keefe
Bad laws are the worst sort of tyranny. by Edmund Burke
Half a truth is often a great lie. by Benjamin Franklin
Plough deep while sluggards sleep. by Benjamin Franklin
War is fear cloaked in courage. by William Westmoreland
America is a mistake, a giant mistake. by Sigmund Freud
It's going to be the ballot or the bullet. by Malcolm X
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. by Calvin Coolidge
Patience is the companion of wisdom. by Saint Augustine
Eighty percent of success is showing up. by Woody Allen
Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. by Mae West
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious. by Oscar Wilde
Enthusiasm is the great hill-climber. by Elbert Hubbard
The greatest remedy for anger is delay. by Thomas Paine
If you can't imitate him, don't copy him. by Yogi Berra
Anxiety is the hand maiden of creativity. by T.S. Eliot
Experience teaches only the teachable. by Aldous Huxley
Boxing is just show business with blood. by Frank Bruno
The wise speak only of what they know. by J.R.R. Tolkien
Baseball is the belly-button of our society. by Bill Lee
Well done is better than well said. by Benjamin Franklin
A word to the wise is infuriating. by Hunter S. Thompson
He is richest who is content with the least. by Socrates
Truth sits upon the lips of dying men. by Matthew Arnold
I confess, I do not believe in time. by Vladimir Nabokov
I am not young enough to know everything. by Oscar Wilde
You don't take a photograph, you make it. by Ansel Adams
I'm not popular enough to be different. by Homer Simpson
Men can be analyzed, women merely adored. by Oscar Wilde
The greatest pleasure of life is love. by William Temple
Despair is the conclusion of fools. by Benjamin Disraeli
Either war is obsolete or men are. by Buckminster Fuller
Cliches are made because they're true. by Miriam M. Wynn
The doors of wisdom are never shut. by Benjamin Franklin
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. by H.G. Wells
Decisions are made by those who show up. by Aaron Sorkin
Belief is no substitute for arithmetic. by Henry Spencer
The variety of all things forms a pleasure. by Euripides
In the faces of men and women I see God. by Walt Whitman
You're never beaten until you admit it. by George Patton
Poetry is what gets lost in translation. by Robert Frost
Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil. by Plato
One man with courage makes a majority. by Andrew Jackson
When you become senile, you won't know it. by Bill Cosby
To err is human; to forgive is divine. by Alexander Pope
Failure is success if we learn from it. by Malcolm Forbes
Speak softly and carry a big stick. by Theodore Roosevelt
Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal. by T.S. Eliot
If you can't convince them, confuse them. by Harry Truman
I haven't been with a woman in nine months. by Mike Tyson
Wars are caused by undefended wealth. by Ernest Hemingway
Never judge a philosophy by its abuse. by Saint Augustine
He that cannot obey, cannot command. by Benjamin Franklin
A friend is the hope of the heart. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
The sleeping fox catches no poultry. by Benjamin Franklin
Of all lies, art is the least untrue. by Gustave Flaubert
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. by Eleanor Roosevelt
It is impossible to love and to be wise. by Francis Bacon
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. by Mark Twain
Beauty and folly are old companions. by Benjamin Franklin
Pain is just weakness leaving the body. by Author Unknown
I can resist everything except temptation. by Oscar Wilde
There's a way to do it better - find it. by Thomas Edison
Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies. by John Donne
Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier. by Colin Powell
My toughest fight was with my first wife. by Muhammad Ali
A well-spent day brings happy sleep. by Leonardo da Vinci
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. by Muhammad Ali
This is slavery, not to speak one's thought. by Euripides
Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife. by Euripides
Strength of mind is exercise, not rest. by Alexander Pope
Eloquence may set fire to reason. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Aging is mandatory. Maturity is optional. by Chris Antonak
It is said that gifts persuade even the gods. by Euripides
I think the idea of art kills creativity. by Douglas Adams
As government expands, liberty contracts. by Ronald Reagan
Our best thoughts come from others. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
By the time we've made it, we've had it. by Malcolm Forbes
You can never plan the future by the past. by Edmund Burke
A prudent question is one-half of wisdom. by Francis Bacon
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood. by George Patton
Take away love and our earth is a tomb. by Robert Browning
Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded. by Yogi Berra
A day without laughter is a day wasted. by Charlie Chaplin
At 50, everyone has the face he deserves. by George Orwell
What do I know about sex? I'm a married man. by Tom Clancy
Every woman knows all about everything. by Rudyard Kipling
There is no friend as loyal as a book. by Ernest Hemingway
You can't teach an old dogma new tricks. by Dorothy Parker
Diligence is the mother of good luck. by Benjamin Franklin
When you come to a fork in the road, take it. by Yogi Berra
Strength lies not in defense but in attack. by Adolf Hitler
Business today consists in persuading crowds. by T.S. Eliot
Black holes are where God divided by zero. by Steven Wright
We're actors--we're the opposite of people. by Tom Stoppard
Whoever is happy will make others happy, too. by Mark Twain
A good photograph is knowing where to stand. by Ansel Adams
Every man over forty is a scoundrel. by George Bernard Shaw
Games lubricate the body and the mind. by Benjamin Franklin
Where knowledge ends, religion begins. by Benjamin Disraeli
Love takes up where knowledge leaves off. by Thomas Aquinas
Life is a festival only to the wise. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Chance fights ever on the side of the prudent. by Euripides
What is now proved was once only imagined. by William Blake
Maybe this world is another planet's hell. by Aldous Huxley
Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved. by D.H. Lawrence
A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother. by Mark Twain
Envy is as evil a thing as arrogance. by Theodore Roosevelt
Without courage, wisdom bears no fruit. by Baltasar Gracian
Diplomacy...the art of restraining power. by Henry Kissinger
Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is. by Jedi Master Yoda
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. by Aristotle
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist. by Indira Gandhi
If a man does his best, what else is there? by George Patton
I don't get acting jobs because of my looks. by Alec Baldwin
Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke. by Benjamin Disraeli
Men are what their mothers made them. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
The greatest wealth is to live content with little. by Plato
Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. by Bertrand Russell
Courage is fear holding on a minute longer. by George Patton
I'd rather hear an old truth than a new lie. by Chris Bowyer
That government is best which governs least. by Thomas Paine
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand. by Charles Schulz
If I lose mine honour, I lose myself. by William Shakespeare
I paid too much for it, but it's worth it. by Samuel Goldwyn
MEGAHERTZ: This is a really, really big hertz. by Dave Barry
The covers of this book are too far apart. by Ambrose Bierce
A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. by Robert Frost
The only secure knowledge is that I exist. by Rene Descartes
Nature thrives on patience; man on impatience. by Paul Boese
Without losers, where would the winners be? by Casey Stengel
All art is but imitation of nature. by Lucius Annaeus Seneca
If you can't accept losing, you can't win. by Vince Lombardi
God does not play dice with the universe. by Albert Einstein
Wise men argue causes, and fools decide them. by Frank Tyger
A right delayed is a right denied. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Knowledge is not wisdom, unless used wisely. by J.D. Anderson
Reason and judgment are the qualities of a leader. by Tacitus
Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. by Confucius
It is your mind that creates this world. by Siddhartha Buddha
If you don't risk anything, you risk even more. by Erica Jong
I can live for two months on a good compliment. by Mark Twain
You are what you love. Not what loves you. by Charlie Kaufman
No man ever listened himself out of a job. by Calvin Coolidge
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. by Tom Stoppard
God is a concept by which we measure our pain. by John Lennon
All great truths begin as blasphemies. by George Bernard Shaw
Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst. by C.S. Lewis
Art can teach without at all ceasing to be art. by C.S. Lewis
Character is much easier kept than recovered. by Thomas Paine
As soon as one is unhappy one becomes moral. by Marcel Proust
Lack of money is the root of all evil. by George Bernard Shaw
Ability is nothing without opportunity. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. by Joseph Barth
They sicken of the calm who know the storm. by Dorothy Parker
When you're through changing, you're through. by Bruce Barton
Don't look back; they may be gaining on you. by Satchel Paige
Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. by Alfred Hitchcock
Etiquette requires us to admire the human race. by Mark Twain
The only defensible war is a war of defense. by GK Chesterton
There is still no cure for the common birthday. by John Glenn
If music be the food of love, play on. by William Shakespeare
Drive thy business or it will drive thee. by Benjamin Franklin
To be a poet is a condition, not a profession. by Robert Frost
Experts often possess more data than judgment. by Colin Powell
Change is inevitable. Change is constant. by Benjamin Disraeli
Fear not those who argue but those who dodge. by Dale Carnegie
The Vatican is a dagger in the heart of Italy. by Thomas Paine
Without music, life would be a mistake. by Friedrich Nietzsche
He that lives upon hope will die fasting. by Benjamin Franklin
It is not what you look at, but what you see. by Henry Thoreau
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. by Dave Barry
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. by Benjamin Franklin
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. by Thomas Jefferson
Liars when they speak the truth are not believed. by Aristotle
I am easily satisfied with the very best. by Winston Churchill
Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you. by John Adams
It is better to be quotable than to be honest. by Tom Stoppard
America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. by John Updike
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. by Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. by Mark Twain
Life is just one damned thing after another. by Elbert Hubbard
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. by Groucho Marx
Intense love does not measure, it just gives. by Mother Teresa
The beginning is the most important part of the work. by Plato
Every man is like the company he is wont to keep. by Euripides
The value of an idea lies in the using of it. by Thomas Edison
Theology is only thought applied to religion. by GK Chesterton
Reason is our soul's left hand, Faith her right. by John Donne
It takes a great man to be a good listener. by Calvin Coolidge
Speed provides the one great modern pleasure. by Aldous Huxley
Victory belongs to the most persevering. by Napoleon Bonaparte
The price of greatness is responsibility. by Winston Churchill
Life is to entered upon with courage. by Alexis de Tocqueville
In politics stupidity is not a handicap. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Only the sinner has the right to preach. by Christopher Morley
It's easier to build a boy than to mend a man. by Charles Gavin
All that is not eternal is eternally out of date. by C.S. Lewis
The secret of getting things done is to act! by Dante Alighieri
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. by Leonardo da Vinci
History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. by Mark Twain
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge. by Scott Adams
Funny how the new things are the old things. by Rudyard Kipling
War should be the only study of a prince. by Nicolo Machiavelli
When angry count to four; when very angry, swear. by Mark Twain
Greater things are believed of those who are absent. by Tacitus
Cast your cares on God; that anchor holds. by Frank Moore Colby
To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom. by Bertrand Russell
Art is man's expression of his joy in labor. by Henry Kissinger
I'd just as soon play tennis with the net down. by Robert Frost
To succeed, we must first believe that we can. by Michael Korda
We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch. by John F. Kennedy
An unjust punishment is never forgotten. by Penelope Fitzgerald
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise. by Robert Heinlein
A little neglect may breed great mischief. by Benjamin Franklin
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. by William Shakespeare
Never murder a man who is committing suicide. by Woodrow Wilson
Some are weather-wise, some are otherwise. by Benjamin Franklin
Imitation is the sincerest of flattery. by Charles Caleb Colton
Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. by Emily Dickinson
Call on God, but row away from the rocks. by Hunter S. Thompson
If you are going through hell, keep going. by Winston Churchill
There is no greater loan than a sympathetic ear. by Frank Tyger
We build too many walls and not enough bridges. by Isaac Newton
Pulses and impulses both come from the heart. by Jason Mechalek
Unless you believe, you will not understand. by Saint Augustine
Love's always a little lonely in the beginning. by Douglas Sirk
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. by Carl Sagan
The path to greatness is along with others. by Baltasar Gracian
The government is best which governs least. by Thomas Jefferson
To be wise and love exceeds man's might. by William Shakespeare
To be a leader means to be able to move masses. by Adolf Hitler
In the long run, you only hit what you aim at. by Henry Thoreau
Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. by Samuel Johnson
Deep versed in books and shallow in himself. by Henry Kissinger
'Twas but my tongue, 'twas not my soul that swore. by Euripides
With ignorance and arrogance, success is assured. by Mark Twain
Ability will never catch up with the demand for it. by Confucius
I figure wherever I am, that's the place to be. by Tommy Lasorda
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. by Aristotle
Nothing is so fatal to religion as indifference. by Edmund Burke
The wise make proverbs, and fools repeat them. by Isaac Disraeli
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. by Mark Twain
There is no joy in life like the joy of sharing. by Billy Graham
If you would be loved, love and be lovable. by Benjamin Franklin
In time we hate that which we often fear. by William Shakespeare
What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly. by Thomas Paine
Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies. by Mark Twain
Courage is the most beautiful kind of madness. by Author Unknown
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. by Bill Maher
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. by Mark Twain
I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating. by Mike Tyson
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. by Saint Augustine
Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil. by Aristotle
I hate quotations. Tell me what you know. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Knowledge is knowing that we cannot know. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
A baby is God's opinion that life should go on. by Carl Sandburg
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. by Socrates
To hell with circumstances. I create opportunities. by Bruce Lee
There are no facts, only interpretations. by Friedrich Nietzsche
I do not like work even when someone else does it. by Mark Twain
Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. by Confucius
Your faith is what you believe, not what you know. by Mark Twain
Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame. by Alexander Pope
A good conscience is a continual Christmas. by Benjamin Franklin
A riot is the language of the unheard. by Martin Luther King Jr.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. by Xenocrates
Art is the most passionate orgy within man's grasp. by John Donne
Creditors have better memories than debtors. by Benjamin Franklin
Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood. by Oscar Wilde
When the solution is simple, God is answering. by Albert Einstein
To be, or not to be: that is the question. by William Shakespeare
Never despair, but if you do, work on in despair. by Edmund Burke
Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting. by Yogi Berra
With the sleep of dreams comes nightmares. by William Shakespeare
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. by Mae West
Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. by Walter Lippman
No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway. by John Robb
Painting is just another way of keeping a diary. by Pablo Picasso
The president cannot escape from his office. by Dwight Eisenhower
Would people applaud me if I was a good plumber? by Marlon Brando
Bad news isn't wine. It doesn't improve with age. by Colin Powell
It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision. by Helen Keller
Let him that would move the world first move himself. by Socrates
Success is dependent upon the glands; sweat glands. by Zig Ziglar
I love acting.  It is so much more real than life. by Oscar Wilde
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. by Mark Twain
Actors are one family over the entire world. by Eleanor Roosevelt
There is no failure except in no longer trying. by Elbert Hubbard
Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical. by Yogi Berra
The love we give away is the only love we keep. by Elbert Hubbard
Remember when safe sex meant not getting caught? by Author Unknown
When you have nothing to say, say nothing. by Charles Caleb Colton
To ridicule philosophy is really to philosophize. by Blaise Pascal
The only way to have a friend is to be one. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope. by Aristotle
He does not possess wealth; it possesses him. by Benjamin Franklin
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. by Mark Twain
I have never been hurt by what I have not said. by Calvin Coolidge
A witty saying proves nothing. by Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. by Mark Twain
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. by Plato
There is more to life than increasing its speed. by Mahatma Gandhi
Must not all things at the last be swallowed up in death? by Plato
It takes a long time to turn a big country around. by Bill Clinton
It is better to be alone than in bad company. by George Washington
The giving of love is an education in itself. by Eleanor Roosevelt
Old age is fifteen years older than I am. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing. by Vince Lombardi
Humility is no substitute for a good personality. by Fran Lebowitz
If there were no God, there would be no Atheists. by GK Chesterton
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Whoso loves believes the impossible. by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Nine-tenths of wisdom is being wise in time. by Theodore Roosevelt
Life in abundance comes only through great love. by Elbert Hubbard
Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better. by Albert Camus
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. by Oscar Wilde
A stream cannot rise larger than its source. by Theodore Roosevelt
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. by Mae West
Don't be "consistent" but be simply true. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. by Woody Allen
I think the best possible social program is a job. by Ronald Reagan
Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement. by C.S. Lewis
Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast. by William Shakespeare
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. by Josh Billings
Intellectual property has the shelf life of a banana. by Bill Gates
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. by Ian Fleming
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. by Dorothy Parker
I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art. by Madonna Ciccone
Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. by Christopher Morley
The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. by Steve Martin
Swallow your pride occasionally, it's not fattening. by Frank Tyger
The worst of all fears is the fear of living. by Theodore Roosevelt
Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is. by Will Rogers
Arbitration is justice blended with charity. by Nachman of Bratslav
Genius is personality with two measures of talent. by Pablo Picasso
A book of quotations...can never be complete. by Robert M. Hamilton
I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness. by Mother Teresa
One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing. by Socrates
It's not enough to speak, but to speak true. by William Shakespeare
Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God. by Benjamin Franklin
Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. by Earl Wilson
An unjust peace is better than a just war. by Marcus Tullius Cicero
It is not length of life, but depth of life. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Act like you expect to get into the end zone. by Christopher Morley
You must do the thing you think you cannot do. by Eleanor Roosevelt
Giving back involves a certain amount of giving up. by Colin Powell
Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly. by Simeon Strunsky
Toleration is good for all, or it is good for none. by Edmund Burke
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. by Vince Lombardi
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one. by George Washington
Those who stand for nothing fall for anything. by Alexander Hamilton
Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it. by Benjamin Franklin
Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working. by Pablo Picasso
Our hours in love have wings; in absence, crutches. by Colley Cibber
Home is where you come when you run out of places. by Author Unknown
We each have the kind of children we deserve. by Nachman of Bratslav
There is wishful thinking in Hell as well as on Earth. by C.S. Lewis
I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries. by Stephen King
Don't try to be a perfectionist. That's God's job. by Jason Mechalek
I know of only one duty, and that is to love. by George Bernard Shaw
The most depraved type of being is that without purpose. by Ayn Rand
Don't confuse having a career with having a life. by Hillary Clinton
There are no solutions...there are only trade-offs. by Thomas Sowell
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? by Abraham Lincoln
The urge for destruction is also a creative urge. by Mikhail Bakunin
I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit. by Mel Brooks
Everything comes too late for those who only wait. by Elbert Hubbard
The beauty of the past belongs to the past. by Margaret Bourke-White
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. by Henry Thoreau
A man who never made a mistake never made anything. by David Gemmell
Character, not circumstances, makes the man. by Booker T. Washington
The victor will never be asked if he told the truth. by Adolf Hitler
In crises the most daring course is often safest. by Henry Kissinger
Positive anything is better than negative nothing. by Elbert Hubbard
A room without books is like a body without a soul. by GK Chesterton
Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. by George Patton
Men marry to make an end; women to make a beginning. by Alexis Dupuy
All generalizations are dangerous, even this one. by Alexandre Dumas
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. by Mother Teresa
Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel. by Yogi Berra
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due. by W. R. Inge
As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. by Henry Thoreau
Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood. by T.S. Eliot
Even peace may be purchased at too high a price. by Benjamin Franklin
You don't have a Soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. by C.S. Lewis
Those who fear life are already three parts dead. by Bertrand Russell
It belongs to human nature to hate those you have injured. by Tacitus
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. by Henny Youngman
When the well's dry, we know the worth of water. by Benjamin Franklin
It is only the modern that ever becomes old-fashioned. by Oscar Wilde
America is the only country ever founded on a creed. by GK Chesterton
Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off. by Colin Powell
It is most unwise for people in love to marry. by George Bernard Shaw
Some men would rather pursue happiness than obtain it. by Roger Ebert
Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. by GK Chesterton
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. by J.K. Rowling
We're not all alike but we can all like each other. by Jason Mechalek
We turn not older with years, but newer every day. by Emily Dickinson
May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't. by George Patton
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. by Victor Borge
Truth is so rare that it is delightful to tell it. by Emily Dickinson
Any stupid ass can die. That's easy. Living is tough. by Jack LaLanne
An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness. by Elbert Hubbard
Better to die on your feet than live on your knees. by Author Unknown
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. by Aristotle
Start off every day with a smile and get it over with. by W.C. Fields
People only see what they are prepared to see. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. by Charles Darwin
Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius. by Fulton J. Sheen
It requires more courage to suffer than to die. by Napoleon Bonaparte
The supernatural is the natural not yet understood. by Elbert Hubbard
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin. by William Shakespeare
When you're as great as I am, it's hard to be humble. by Muhammad Ali
No one can earn a million dollars honestly. by William Jennings Bryan
I want to thank everyone who made this night necessary. by Yogi Berra
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. by Homer Simpson
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. by Mark Twain
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. by Confucius
Heaven offers nothing that a mercenary soul can desire. by C.S. Lewis
There is no greater hell than to be a prisoner of fear. by Ben Jonson
What once was thought can never be unthought. by Friedrich Durrenmatt
How lucky for those in power that people don't think. by Adolf Hitler
Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
If people don't come to the games, you can't stop them. by Yogi Berra
When you want to fool the world, tell the truth. by Otto von Bismarck
All good art is about something deeper than it admits. by Roger Ebert
The commonest thing is delightful if only one hides it. by Oscar Wilde
The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for. by Ernest Hemingway
We have it in our power to begin the world over again. by Thomas Paine
Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating. by Charlie Kaufman
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. by John F. Kennedy
A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into. by Ansel Adams
My main objective is to be professional but to kill him. by Mike Tyson
Quotations, like much better things, has its abuses. by Isaac Disraeli
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. by Aldous Huxley
People will pay more to be entertained than educated. by Johnny Carson
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. by Dave Barry
No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money. by Samuel Johnson
Before God we are equally wise and equally foolish. by Albert Einstein
Even the poor should give something to charity. by Nachman of Bratslav
Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one. by Henry Mencken
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. by Benjamin Franklin
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. by Mark Twain
Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin. by Dwight Eisenhower
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. by Henry Mencken
Thinking is more precious than all five senses. by Nachman of Bratslav
Liberty exists in proportion to wholesome restraint. by Daniel Webster
The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love. by Bryant Gumbel
If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? by Vince Lombardi
The simplification of anything is always sensational. by GK Chesterton
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. by H.H. Munro
I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada. by Britney Spears
Courage consists in the power of self-recovery. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don't knock masturbation; it's sex with someone I love. by Woody Allen
I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back. by Zsa Zsa Gabor
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. by Mark Twain
Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality. by Dalai Lama
You must be the change you wish to see in the world. by Mahatma Gandhi
No great discovery was ever made without a bold guess. by Isaac Newton
In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity. by Albert Einstein
Any new system is worth trying when your luck is bad. by Heywood Broun
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. by Henry Mencken
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. by Ogden Nash
An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind. by Mahatma Gandhi
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. by Albert Einstein
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. by Oscar Wilde
In doubt a man of worth will trust to his own wisdom. by J.R.R. Tolkien
United States! Go put your creed into your deed. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you wanna be free, you've gotta accept everything. by Jason Mechalek
Why are people's "deepest desires" always so shallow? by Author Unknown
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. by Steve Martin
You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. by Henry Ford
Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life. by Burton Hills
The secret of education is respecting the pupil. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
The more I study science, the more I believe in God. by Albert Einstein
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. by Dan Quayle
No one gossips about other people's secret virtues. by Bertrand Russell
If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking. by George Patton
Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. by Oscar Wilde
Wal-Mart, what's that? Do they, like, make walls there? by Paris Hilton
Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. by John Wayne
Life is just one grand sweet song, so start the music. by Ronald Reagan
The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. by Aristotle
No government ever voluntarily reduces itself in size. by Ronald Reagan
Heroism is not only in the man, but in the occasion. by Calvin Coolidge
If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty. by Benjamin Franklin
The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. by Thomas Paine
Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex. by Karl Marx
Anybody can make history; only a great man can write it. by Oscar Wilde
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. by T.S. Eliot
Lies are usually caused by an undue fear of men. by Nachman of Bratslav
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. by Francis Bacon
A friend is one before whom you may think aloud. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also. by Carl Jung
An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. by Benjamin Franklin
The whole trouble is that we won't let God help us. by George MacDonald
I know nothing about sex because I was always married. by Zsa Zsa Gabor
We need men who can dream of things that never were. by John F. Kennedy
When dictatorship is a fact, revolution becomes a right. by Victor Hugo
There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance. by Socrates
Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected. by George Washington
A man of genius has been seldom ruined but by himself. by Samuel Johnson
Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. by Niels Bohr
Let us leave pretty women to men devoid of imagination. by Marcel Proust
An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger. by Confucius
It's not the voting that's democracy; it's the counting. by Tom Stoppard
No good film is too long and no bad film is short enough. by Roger Ebert
It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction. by Pablo Picasso
God loves each of us as if there were only one of us. by Saint Augustine
What is bad? Everything that is born of weakness. by Friedrich Nietzsche
In Heaven all the interesting people are missing. by Friedrich Nietzsche
Genius is only the power of making continuous efforts. by Elbert Hubbard
If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. by Mother Teresa
There's no one thing that is true. They're all true. by Ernest Hemingway
When ideas fail, words come in very handy. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs. by Bill Maher
The best way to keep one's word is not to give it. by Napoleon Bonaparte
I want to know God's thoughts...the rest are details. by Albert Einstein
Atheism is rather in the life than in the heart of man. by Francis Bacon
Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. by Christopher Morley
Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. by Truman Capote
A strict master will not have understanding sons. by Nachman of Bratslav
I think a poet is anybody who wouldn't call himself a poet. by Bob Dylan
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage. by Will Rogers
Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer. by Muhammad Ali
You don't know what you can get away with until you try. by Colin Powell
An unexciting truth may be eclipsed by a thrilling lie. by Aldous Huxley
Words may show a man's wit but actions his meaning. by Benjamin Franklin
Progress comes from the intelligent use of experience. by Elbert Hubbard
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. by Mark Twain
The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike. by Delos McKown
When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers. by Oscar Wilde
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. by Oscar Wilde
No people can be great who have ceased to be virtuous. by Samuel Johnson
Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty. by Socrates
Criticism is nothing more than other people's opinion. by Clint Eastwood
Who does not thank for little will not thank for much. by Author Unknown
An actor is at most a poet and at least an entertainer. by Marlon Brando
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable. by Fran Lebowitz
The only way to win World War III is to prevent it. by Dwight Eisenhower
Being a philosopher, I have a problem for every solution. by Robert Zend
The wise man does at once what the fool does finally. by Baltasar Gracian
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. by Jonathan Kozol
We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything. by Thomas Edison
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. by Victor Hugo
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. by Mark Twain
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder. by George Washington
No evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death. by Plato
A man is measured by the size of things that anger him. by Geof Greenleaf
Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. by Robert Frost
A lot of places can be the wrong place at the wrong time. by Bill Clinton
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. by Will Durant
I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's. by Woody Allen
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. by Woody Allen
Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true. by Niels Bohr
We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm. by Winston Churchill
Never interrupt me when I'm trying to interrupt you. by Winston Churchill
You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once. by Oprah Winfrey
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel. by Bill Clinton
The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. by Hada Bejar
The ear is the only true writer and the only true reader. by Robert Frost
My goal is to someday be the person my dog thinks I am. by Author Unknown
The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool. by Stephen King
Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoken to. by Richard Harris Barham
Genius without education is like silver in the mine. by Benjamin Franklin
I would rather have peace in the world than be President. by Harry Truman
To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. by Elbert Hubbard
Love sought is good, but given unsought is better. by William Shakespeare
We've got to live. No matter how many skies have fallen. by D.H. Lawrence
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. by Theodore Roosevelt
All our knowledge has its origin in our perceptions. by Leonardo da Vinci
Children today know more about sex than I or my father did. by Bill Cosby
If everybody's thinking alike, somebody isn't thinking. by Author Unknown
Sweet is the remembrance of troubles when you are in safety. by Euripides
Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves. by Rudyard Kipling
I like to say that I'm bisexual...when I want sex, I buy it. by Boy George
Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed. by Emily Dickinson
In the future everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes. by Andy Warhol
There is no glory in battle worth the blood it costs. by Dwight Eisenhower
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. by Dave Barry
God enters by a private door into every individual. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. by Albert Einstein
Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place. by Billy Crystal
A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular. by Adlai Stevenson
Don't ask God to change the laws of nature for you. by Nachman of Bratslav
Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. by Christopher Morley
Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up. by Jesse Jackson
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. by Victor Hugo
I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won. by Muhammad Ali
Once abolish the God, and the government becomes the God. by GK Chesterton
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must. by Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. by Mark Twain
If one knows exactly what is going to be done, why do it? by Pablo Picasso
A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity. by Baltasar Gracian
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. by Samuel Goldwyn
He was as great as a man can be without morality. by Alexis de Tocqueville
We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one. by John Updike
Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. by George Patton
In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. by Benjamin Franklin
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. by Mark Twain
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. by Robert Frost
The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. by John F. Kennedy
In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves. by Edward Bulwer-Lytton
We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Only those are fit to live who are not afraid to die. by Douglas MacArthur
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. by Mark Twain
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. by Bob Hope
History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it. by Winston Churchill
Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities. by C.S. Lewis
Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction. by Author Unknown
Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to get leisure. by Benjamin Franklin
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. by Mark Twain
Your children need your presence more than your presents. by Jesse Jackson
Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. by Christopher Morley
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. by Leo Burke
Man will ultimately be governed by God or by tyrants. by Benjamin Franklin
When you stand for your liberty, we will stand with you. by George W. Bush
What a man's mind can create, man's character can control. by Thomas Edison
The truth is always a trick to those who live among lies. by Author Unknown
Truth is generally the best vindication against slander. by Abraham Lincoln
A desire to resist oppression is implanted in the nature of man. by Tacitus
To be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved. by George MacDonald
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. by William Blake
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle. by Benjamin Franklin
Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other. by John F. Kennedy
Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage. by Theodore Roosevelt
Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise. by Samuel Johnson
In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous. by Tacitus
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad. by Aldous Huxley
How else can you fight God but to pretend He doesn't exist? by Chris Bowyer
Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens. by J.R.R. Tolkien
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. by Bertrand Russell
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. by Calvin Coolidge
The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously. by Henry Kissinger
Whoever wants to reach a distant goal must take small steps. by Saul Bellow
A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. by Samuel Johnson
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. by Woody Allen
I'm a great housekeeper: I get divorced, I keep the house. by Zsa Zsa Gabor
Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble. by Frank Tyger
A woman has to be twice as good as a man to go half as far. by Fannie Hurst
Religion to me has always been the wound, not the bandage. by Dennis Potter
It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them. by Benjamin Franklin
Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned. by George Bernard Shaw
Mankind are governed more by their feelings than by reason. by Samuel Adams
It's not how old you are, it's how hard you work at it. by Jonah Barrington
Among a people generally corrupt liberty cannot long exist. by Edmund Burke
Everyone who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching. by Oscar Wilde
Can't live with 'em. Can't legally torture them to death. by Author Unknown
Corrupt politicians make the other ten percent look bad. by Henry Kissinger
I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love. by Henry Ward Beecher
Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. by George Burns
To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. by Thomas Edison
Anyone can get old, all you have to do is live long enough. by Groucho Marx
To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice. by Confucius
Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it. by Benjamin Franklin
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. by James Dean
Love means having to say you're sorry every fifteen minutes. by John Lennon
On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence. by William Jennings Bryan
Women are nothing but machines for producing children. by Napoleon Bonaparte
You play the hand you're dealt. I think the game's worthwhile. by C.S. Lewis
He who knows how to flatter also knows how to slander. by Napoleon Bonaparte
The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. by John Powell
I saw few die of hunger; of eating, a hundred thousand. by Benjamin Franklin
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. by Mark Twain
In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order. by Carl Jung
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes. by James Feibleman
Power over a man's subsistence is power over his will. by Alexander Hamilton
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. by Benjamin Franklin
Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. by GK Chesterton
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. by Martin Luther King Jr.
The heart has its reasons, of which the mind knows nothing. by Blaise Pascal
Reading without reflecting is like eating without digesting. by Edmund Burke
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. by Fran Lebowitz
When we know what God is, we shall be gods ourselves. by George Bernard Shaw
A man, Sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair. by Samuel Johnson
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. by Josh Billings
Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but a reproach to old age. by Aristotle
Neither man or nation can exist without a sublime idea. by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. by John Wooden
Love is a sign from the heavens that you are here for a reason. by J. Ghetto
Anger as soon as fed is dead. 'Tis starving makes it fat. by Emily Dickinson
Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends. by George Bernard Shaw
When I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading. by Author Unknown
It is the cause, not the death, that makes the martyr. by Napoleon Bonaparte
No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness. by Aristotle
Curiousity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. by Steven Wright
In the vain laughter of folly, wisdom hears half its applause. by T.S. Eliot
There is no force so democratic as the force of an ideal. by Calvin Coolidge
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. by Dale Carnegie
Old things are always in good repute, present things in disfavor. by Tacitus
In politics, an organized minority is a political majority. by Jesse Jackson
That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. by Neil Armstrong
Death tugs at my ear and says: "Live, I am coming." by Oliver Wendell Holmes
I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter. by James Michener
Everything done in weakness fails. Moral: Do nothing. by Friedrich Nietzsche
If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom. by Robert Frost
We give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. by Author Unknown
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try. by Fran Lebowitz
Nothing is more obstinate than a fashionable consensus. by Margaret Thatcher
Knowledge that is paid for will be longer remembered. by Nachman of Bratslav
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy. by Isaac Newton
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. by Mark Twain
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. by Eleanor Roosevelt
Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. by Bill Cosby
Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success. by Henry Ford
We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do. by Mother Teresa
Whatever must happen ultimately should happen immediately. by Henry Kissinger
A leader is a man who can adapt principles to circumstances. by George Patton
Love means loving the unlovable - or it is no virtue at all. by GK Chesterton
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. by Gloria Leonard
When you cease to make a contribution; you begin to die. by Eleanor Roosevelt
Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think. by Niels Bohr
For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business. by T.S. Eliot
One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing. by Oscar Wilde
Honeymoon: a short period of doting between dating and debating. by Ray Bandy
Of all the varieties of virtues, liberalism is the most beloved. by Aristotle
We're in a war, dammit! We're going to have to offend somebody! by John Adams
When I'm writing, I know I'm doing the thing I was born to do. by Anne Sexton
Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction. by Pablo Picasso
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. by Woody Allen
An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. by Fulton J. Sheen
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. by Martin Farquhar Tupper
What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do. by Aristotle
Many people would sooner die than think. In fact they do. by Bertrand Russell
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. by Napoleon Bonaparte
A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe. by Pierre Berton
Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything! by Steve Martin
Chastity...the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions. by Aldous Huxley
Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination. by Roy Goodman
Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest. by Mark Twain
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. by Fran Lebowitz
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. by Annie Dillard
Nothing so dates a man as to decry the younger generation. by Adlai Stevenson
Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours. by C.S. Lewis
Ours is the only country deliberately founded on a good idea. by John Gunther
Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Reasoning is never, like poetry, judged from the outside at all. by C.S. Lewis
If you have a job without aggravation, you don't have a job. by Malcolm Forbes
A bore is a fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it. by Henry Ford
Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery. by Andy Warhol
Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is thought. by Emily Dickinson
We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. by Christopher Morley
Reputation is character minus what you've been caught doing. by Michael Iapoce
If I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out. I'm not proud. by Stephen King
Playboy was founded on the notion that nice girls like sex too. by Hugh Hefner
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. by Henry Mencken
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. by Groucho Marx
Gaze long into the abyss, and the abyss gazes into you. by Friedrich Nietzsche
When the president does it that means that it is not illegal. by Richard Nixon
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. by Winston Churchill
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. by Erna Bombeck
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. by Napoleon Bonaparte
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. by Confucius
You're entitled to your own opinion, but not your own facts. by Author Unknown
When one jumps over the edge, one is bound to land somewhere. by D.H. Lawrence
I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes. by Oprah Winfrey
Nothing pains some people more than having to think. by Martin Luther King Jr.
My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil. by Paul Getty
It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains. by Patrick Henry
To <b>you</b> I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. by Woody Allen
Feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings. by Cheris Kramerae
Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? by Abraham Lincoln
Not everybody trusts paintings, but people believe photographs. by Ansel Adams
The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase. by Yogi Berra
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. by Oscar Wilde
There can be no liberty unless there is economic liberty. by Margaret Thatcher
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. by Robert Frost
If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. by Booker T. Washington
Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have. by Zig Ziglar
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. by Joseph Stalin
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. by Ogden Nash
The essence of all art is to have pleasure in giving pleasure. by Dale Carnegie
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? by Steven Wright
You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. by Albert Camus
The best way to win an argument is to begin by being right. by Jill Ruckleshaus
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. by Robert Kennedy
Great truths can only be forgotten and can never be falsified. by GK Chesterton
There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries. by W.J. Cameron
A man never tells you anything until you contradict him. by George Bernard Shaw
People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. by Abraham Lincoln
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. by W.C. Fields
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. by Mark Twain
A poet needs a pen, a painter a brush, and a filmmaker an army. by Orson Welles
What IS your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries? by Chief Wiggum
The United States is the only country with a known birthday. by James G. Blaine
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. by Henry Mencken
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. by Ernest Hemingway
The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. by Rudyard Kipling
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. by Albert Einstein
Hope is the word which God has written on the brow of every man. by Victor Hugo
Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt. by Clarence Darrow
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. by Will Rogers
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to. by Laurence Peter
Whatever makes men good Christians, makes them good citizens. by Daniel Webster
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. by Dave Barry
Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning. by Bill Gates
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. by Groucho Marx
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. by Oscar Wilde
You won't get anything unless you have the vision to imagine it. by John Lennon
Today the greatest single source of wealth is between your ears. by Brian Tracy
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. by Fran Lebowitz
Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk. by Carl Jung
I've got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky & The Pope combined! by Homer Simpson
Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. by Clarence Thomas
Arise and take our stand for freedom as in the olden time. by Winston Churchill
There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come. by Victor Hugo
Better to live one year as a tiger, then a hundred as sheep. by Madonna Ciccone
A hot dog at the ball park is better than steak at the Ritz. by Humphrey Bogart
There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them. by André Gide
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. by Mark Twain
Playboy exploits sex the way Sports Illustrated exploits sports. by Hugh Hefner
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. by Theodor Seuss Geisel
No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it. by Charles Schulz
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. by Jack Nicholson
So where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? by Christina Aguilera
The first mistake in public business is the going into it. by Benjamin Franklin
History, in general, only informs us what bad government is. by Thomas Jefferson
Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one. by George Savile
Cocaine is God's way of telling someone that they're too rich. by Robin Williams
Nothing worse could happen to one than to be completely understood. by Carl Jung
A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. by Confucius
It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving. by Mother Teresa
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all. by Edmund Burke
Money buys you everything except the chance to do it again. by Matthew Clayfield
Beware how you take away hope from another human being. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
A bare assertion is not necessarily the naked truth. by George Dennison Prentice
If only for the sake of elegance, I try to remain morally pure. by Marcel Proust
The writer's job is not to judge, but to seek to understand. by Ernest Hemingway
Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both. by Eleanor Roosevelt
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. by Dwight Eisenhower
Never exaggerate your faults. Your friends will attend to that. by Francis Bacon
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive. by Samuel Goldwyn
A poet never takes notes. You never take notes in a love affair. by Robert Frost
Fortune has rarely condescended to be the companion of genius. by Isaac Disraeli
Success is having a flair for the thing that you are doing. by Margaret Thatcher
Age does not always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone. by Garrison Keillor
A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought. by Peter Wimsey
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. by Winston Churchill
If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are? by T.S. Eliot
There is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Science never solves a problem without creating ten more. by George Bernard Shaw
I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. by Roseanne Barr
What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness? by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
The only prize much cared for by the powerful is power. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
The art of acting consists in keeping people from coughing. by Benjamin Franklin
More than half modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read. by Oscar Wilde
Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening. by Homer Simpson
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. by John Lennon
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. by Henny Youngman
Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash. by George Patton
There are only two places in the league--first place and no place. by Tom Seaver
When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. by Saul Bellow
It is only when men begin to worship that they begin to grow. by Calvin Coolidge
Failure is the only opportunity to begin again more intelligently. by Henry Ford
Consciousness is either inexplicable illusion, or else revelation. by C.S. Lewis
A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child. by Henry Mencken
Life is not a support system for art. It's the other way around. by Stephen King
We're all on the same roller coaster, just in different seats. by Jason Mechalek
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. by C.S. Lewis
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? by Will Rogers
Ambition is like love, impatient both of delays and rivals. by Siddhartha Buddha
In this country we have no place for hyphenated Americans. by Theodore Roosevelt
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. by Thomas Edison
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. by Albert Einstein
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. by George Bernard Shaw
Ever notice that 'what the hell' is always the right decision? by Marilyn Monroe
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. by W. Somerset Maugham
Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. by Satchel Paige
I don't always know what I'm talking about but I know I'm right. by Muhammad Ali
Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.' by Bill Maher
Life's Tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late. by Benjamin Franklin
Those who trust to chance must abide by the results of chance. by Calvin Coolidge
Don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night. by Phillip K. Dick
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. by Erna Bombeck
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies. by Friedrich Nietzsche
Before reciting his prayers, a man should give to charity. by Nachman of Bratslav
I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature. by Thomas Jefferson
Half of maturity consists of knowing when and how to be immature. by Chris Bowyer
To err is human. To blame it on somebody else is even more human. by Arthur Bloch
Our destiny is bound up with the destiny of every other American. by Bill Clinton
The world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming it. by Helen Keller
To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle. by George Orwell
Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. by Steven Wright
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. by Bob Hope
The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. by Henry Thoreau
When you play, play hard; when you work, don't play at all. by Theodore Roosevelt
That service is the noblest which is rendered for its own sake. by Mahatma Gandhi
There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker. by Charles Schulz
Skepticism is a virtue in history as well as in philosophy. by Napoleon Bonaparte
The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion. by Edmund Burke
A business that makes nothing but money is a poor kind of business. by Henry Ford
Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. by Laurence Peter
Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live. by Henry Van Dyke
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! by Will Rogers
Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for. by Mae West
Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you're home. by Carol Nelson
It is only by doing things others have not that one can advance. by George Patton
The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise. by Tacitus
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. by Totie Fields
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. by Will Rogers
To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends. by Benjamin Franklin
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. by Oscar Wilde
Poetry is the art of creating imaginary gardens with real toads. by Marianne Moore
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. by Henny Youngman
Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them. by Aristotle
I almost had a pyschic girlfriend, but she left me before we met. by Steven Wright
Don't take life too seriously; you'll never get out of it alive. by Elbert Hubbard
There cannot be true democracy unless women's voices are heard. by Hillary Clinton
We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full. by Marcel Proust
Though I am not naturally honest, I am sometimes by chance. by William Shakespeare
Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet. by Napoleon Bonaparte
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. by Mark Twain
Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure. by Thomas Edison
We have to make America the best place in the world to do business. by Dick Cheney
I am a soldier, I fight where I am told, and I win where I fight. by George Patton
I don't care what is written about me, so long as it isn't true. by Dorothy Parker
The mode by which the inevitable comes to pass is effort. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. by GK Chesterton
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. by Abraham Lincoln
If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. by John Wayne
We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities. by Oscar Wilde
The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe. by Gustave Flaubert
Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch. by Ian Fleming
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge. by Charles Darwin
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. by Steve Martin
In the small matters trust the mind, in the large ones the heart. by Sigmund Freud
Who will take medicine unless he knows he is in the grip of disease? by C.S. Lewis
The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man. by GK Chesterton
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. by George Santayana
Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. by Saint Augustine
There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness. by Marguerite Gardiner Blessington
Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries. by James Michener
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. by Dave Barry
He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. by George Eliot
I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. by Clarence Darrow
If freedom is short of weapons, we must compensate with willpower. by Adolf Hitler
I'm just like anyone. I cut and I bleed. And I embarass easily. by Michael Jackson
It is often hard to bear the tears that we ourselves have caused. by Marcel Proust
He is a very modest man with a great deal to be modest about. by Winston Churchill
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. by Irv Kupcinet
Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. by Edmund Burke
Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm. by John F. Kennedy
We Americans have no commission from God to police the world. by Benjamin Harrison
A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life. by Christopher Morley
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. by Mark Twain
If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it. by Calvin Coolidge
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. by Albert Einstein
To be pleased with one's limits is a wretched state. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men. by Abraham Lincoln
Self-denial is the shining sore on the leprous body of Christianity. by Oscar Wilde
America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation. by Laurence Peter
The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now. by Bill Cosby
Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. by Malcolm Forbes
Just as war is freedom's cost, disagreement is freedom's privilege. by Bill Clinton
Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
The Rock of Ages is more important than the age of rocks. by William Jennings Bryan
A decent provision for the poor is the true test of civilization. by Samuel Johnson
A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul. by Joseph Addison
You may have genius. The contrary is, of course, probable. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Eternity's a terrible thought. I mean, where's it all going to end? by Tom Stoppard
The man who disobeys his parents will have disobedient sons. by Nachman of Bratslav
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on-a-rope. by Bill Cosby
Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art. by Leonardo da Vinci
I would rather be governor of California than own Austria. by Arnold Schwarzenegger
Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are. by Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand. by Saul Bellow
The nation which forgets its defenders will be itself forgotten. by Calvin Coolidge
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. by Jack London
Obstacles do not exist to be surrendered to, but only to be broken. by Adolf Hitler
There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it. by Alfred Hitchcock
A faith is a necessity to a man. Woe to him who believes in nothing. by Victor Hugo
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. by Benjamin Disraeli
To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else. by Emily Dickinson
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. by George Bernard Shaw
Faith is not only in the heart; it should be put into words. by Nachman of Bratslav
I viewed my fellow man not as a fallen angel, but as a risen ape. by Desmond Morris
No man should have a secret from his wife; she invariably finds out. by Oscar Wilde
Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! by Ronald Reagan
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. by Henry Kissinger
It's a job that's never started that takes the longest to finish. by J.R.R. Tolkien
The movies that are the easiest to make are the hardest to watch. by Bruce Campbell
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others. by Henny Youngman
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. by George Orwell
Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness. by Mother Teresa
Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening. by Barbara Tober
Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other. by Benjamin Franklin
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. by Benjamin Franklin
My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake. by Aristotle
Real freedom is having nothing. I was freer when I didn't have a cent. by Mike Tyson
You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife? by Benjamin Franklin
Life is a fatal complaint, and an eminently contagious one. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Mankind must put an end to war or war will put an end to mankind. by John F. Kennedy
Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow. by Plato
No one would have doubted his ability to reign had he never been emperor. by Tacitus
Laws too gentle are seldom obeyed; too severe, seldom executed. by Benjamin Franklin
Americans learn only from catastrophe and not from experience. by Theodore Roosevelt
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. by Tom Clancy
Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship. by Benjamin Franklin
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. by Mark Twain
I prefer rogues to imbeciles, because they sometimes take a rest. by Alexandre Dumas
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. by Will Rogers
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. by George Bernard Shaw
Follow that will and that way which experience confirms to be your own. by Carl Jung
A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. by Sam Brown
Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves. by Dale Carnegie
The philosophy of one century is the common sense of the next. by Henry Ward Beecher
How strange that nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude! by Emily Dickinson
If one does not understand a person, one tends to regard him as a fool. by Carl Jung
Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed. by Dale Carnegie
Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell. by Emily Dickinson
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. by Albert Einstein
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. by Mark Twain
We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes. by John F. Kennedy
What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end. by Benjamin Disraeli
A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. by André Maurois
All our dreams can come true --if we have the courage to pursue them. by Walt Disney
No man is justified in doing evil on the ground of expediency. by Theodore Roosevelt
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone else. by William Rotsler
The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can. by Margo Kaufman
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything. by George Carlin
I am Envy. I cannot read and therefore wish all books burned. by Christopher Marlowe
We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once. by Calvin Coolidge
What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to. by Hansell B. Duckett
I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man. by Benjamin Disraeli
Philosophy:  A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. by Ambrose Bierce
Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. by Mark Twain
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. by Robert Frost
Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk. by Homer Simpson
If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. by Isaac Newton
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. by Benjamin Franklin
Men have always been afraid that women could get along without them. by Margaret Mead
We must never be afraid to go too far, for success lies just beyond. by Marcel Proust
Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions. by GK Chesterton
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. by Winston Churchill
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. by Dale Carnegie
Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. by Siddhartha Buddha
We dare not forget that we are the heirs of that first revolution. by John F. Kennedy
They defend their errors as if they were defending their inheritance. by Edmund Burke
To give and not expect return, that is what lies at the heart of love. by Oscar Wilde
...adults are just obsolete children, and the hell with them. by Theodor Seuss Geisel
They say love is around every corner. I must be walking in circles. by Author Unknown
No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out. by Roger Ebert
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. by Ambrose Bierce
Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us. by Earl Nightingale
The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat. by Dave Barry
The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. by Saint Augustine
The last thing a political party gives up is its vocabulary. by Alexis de Tocqueville
There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it. by Marcus Tullius Cicero
Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed. by Mel Brooks
Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible. by Frank Moore Colby
The well-bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves. by Oscar Wilde
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking. by Henry Mencken
A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. by Socrates
When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred. by Thomas Jefferson
The one thing I want to leave my children is an honorable name. by Theodore Roosevelt
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. by Will Rogers
A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment. by John Wooden
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. by Mark Twain
There is nothing new in the world except the history you do not know. by Harry Truman
Willing is not enough; we must do. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. by Bruce Lee
A radical is a man with both feet firmly planted in the air. by Franklin D. Roosevelt
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. by Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders? by Friedrich Nietzsche
Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. by Christopher Marlowe
Love of fame is the last thing even learned men can bear to be parted from. by Tacitus
Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you. by Elbert Hubbard
Our high respect for a well read person is praise enough for literature. by T.S. Eliot
Happiness is the full use of your powers along lines of excellence. by John F. Kennedy
Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours. by Frank Moore Colby
He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. by Roy L. Smith
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it. by Steven Wright
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street. by Laurence Peter
There are a lot of lies going around...and half of them are true. by Winston Churchill
Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never. by Charles Caleb Colton
Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble. by William Shakespeare
Would you live with ease? Do what you ought, not what you please. by Benjamin Franklin
Failure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital. by Daniel Webster
Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something. by Thomas Edison
The greater our knowledge increases the more our ignorance unfolds. by John F. Kennedy
The biggest bore is the person who is bored by everyone and everything. by Frank Tyger
Probable impossibilities are to be preferred to improbable possibilities. by Aristotle
There is nothing so powerful as truth, and often nothing so strange. by Daniel Webster
Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. by George Bernard Shaw
Sex and creativity are often seen by dictators as subversive activities. by Erica Jong
It's not about finding the right man, it's about being the right woman. by Debby Jones
First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity. by George Bernard Shaw
The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life. by Plato
I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. by Woody Allen
For a time, at least, I was the most famous person in the entire world. by Jesse Owens
When you work seven days a week, fourteen hours a day, you get lucky. by Armand Hammer
Most football teams are temperamental. That's 90% temper and 10% mental. by Doug Plank
Why be something to everybody when you can be everything to somebody? by GK Chesterton
All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions. by Adlai Stevenson
Any mental activity is easy if it need not take reality into account. by Marcel Proust
Puritanism - the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. by Henry Mencken
We have the Bill of Rights.  What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities. by Bill Maher
I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. by Friedrich Nietzsche
Life is a pill which none of us can bear to swallow without gilding. by Samuel Johnson
Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth. by George Washington
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. by Zsa Zsa Gabor
Never confuse the size of your paycheck with the size of your talent. by Marlon Brando
Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference. by Aristotle
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. by Franklin D. Roosevelt
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. by Henry Thoreau
A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. by Joseph Addison
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. by Albert Einstein
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way. by Aristotle
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. by Mark Twain
There is only one rule for being a good talker - learn to listen. by Christopher Morley
The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first. by Blaise Pascal
Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up. by Muhammad Ali
Talk not of wasted affection; affection never was wasted. by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. by Al Gore
Deliberation and debate is the way you stir the soul of our democracy. by Jesse Jackson
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give you the signal. by Dwight Eisenhower
A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. by Mahatma Gandhi
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. by Fred Allen
I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. by Charles Dickens
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back. by Woody Allen
Any man who wants to be president is either an egomaniac or crazy. by Dwight Eisenhower
Nobody expects to trust his body overmuch after the age of fifty. by Alexander Hamilton
All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing. by Edmund Burke
Television has brought back murder into the home, where it belongs. by Alfred Hitchcock
If God is satisfied with the work, the work may be satisfied with itself. by C.S. Lewis
I dont mind living in a mans world as long as I can be a woman in it. by Marilyn Monroe
I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member. by Groucho Marx
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. by Mario Andretti
I've seen the future, and it's much like the present -- only longer. by Dan Quisenberry
Marriage is a duel to the death which no man of honour should decline. by GK Chesterton
It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word. by Andrew Jackson
All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work. by Steve Martin
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it. by Mark Twain
An actor's a guy, who if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening. by Marlon Brando
Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration. by Thomas Edison
Mathematics is the language with which God has written the universe. by Galileo Galilei
Only the extremely ignorant or the extremely intelligent can resist change. by Socrates
When a man is out of sight, it is not too long before he is out of mind. by Victor Hugo
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. by Confucius
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. by Winston Churchill
Love doesn't make the world go round. Love makes the ride worthwhile. by Franklin Jones
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know. by Laurence Peter
Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment. by Jim Horning
I sacrifice to no god save myself -- And to my belly, greatest of deities. by Euripides
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. by Mark Twain
Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art. by Andy Warhol
Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. by Winston Churchill
Wisdom has its root in goodness, not goodness its root in wisdom. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
I went out to the country so i could examine the simple things in life. by Henry Thoreau
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. by Mark Twain
PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics. by Ambrose Bierce
I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. by Margaret Thatcher
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. by Benjamin Franklin
Look not back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around you in awareness. by Ross Hersey
He loves but little who can say and count in words how much he loves. by Dante Alighieri
There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs. by Ansel Adams
Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act. by George Orwell
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. by Fulton J. Sheen
Think of all the beauty that's still left in and around you, and be happy. by Anne Frank
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. by Mark Twain
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius. by Oscar Wilde
Someone doing it often interrupts the person saying it cannot be done. by Author Unknown
If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat? by Homer Simpson
An unlimited power to tax involves, necessarily, the power to destroy. by Daniel Webster
Government is not a solution to our problem, government is the problem. by Ronald Reagan
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. by Dave Barry
For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love. by Carl Sagan
The sounder your argument, the more satisfaction you get out of it. by Edgar Watson Howe
A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past. by Fidel Castro
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. by Mark Twain
I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. by Thomas Jefferson
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. by Jimmy Johnson
I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done. by Siddhartha Buddha
Luck is not chance, it is toil. Fortune is expensive smile is earned. by Emily Dickinson
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. by Mark Twain
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. by Oscar Wilde
I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born. by Ronald Reagan
The world moves, and ideas that were good once are not always good. by Dwight Eisenhower
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. by Mark Twain
He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own. by Aesop
Elderly men who are popular with young women usually lack wisdom. by Nachman of Bratslav
Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. by Siddhartha Buddha
Sometimes the majority just means all the idiots are on the same side. by Author Unknown
The only good thing about books is that they can be adapted into films. by Michael Votto
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. by Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand. by Mother Teresa
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost. by J.R.R. Tolkien
Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory. by George Patton
The bonds that unite another person to our self exist only in our mind. by Marcel Proust
If there was going to be a sexual revolution, I would be its pamphleteer. by Hugh Hefner
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face. by Jack Handey
It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken. by Aristotle
The educated differ from the uneducated as much as the living from the dead. by Aristotle
Motherhood is a biological fact, while fatherhood is a social invention. by Margaret Mead
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. by Elbert Hubbard
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. by Phillip K. Dick
Get happiness out of your work or you may never know what happiness is. by Elbert Hubbard
The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation. by Saint Augustine
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. by Dave Barry
As far as I am concerned now, I have no enemies in the press whatsoever. by Richard Nixon
A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing. by Oscar Wilde
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me. by Charles William Stubbs
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. by Albert Einstein
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. by Josh Billings
The practice of art isn't to make a living. It's to make your soul grow. by Kurt Vonnegut
Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education. by Bertrand Russell
Democracy is when the indigent, and not the men of property, are the rulers. by Aristotle
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. by Henry Mencken
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. by Winston Churchill
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. by Benjamin Franklin
Risk is what separates the good part of life from the tedium. by John Foley (Johnny Zero)
The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it. by Mother Teresa
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. by Theodore Roosevelt
Man's nature is not always to advance; it has its advances and retreats. by Blaise Pascal
False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil. by Plato
I hate the giving of the hand unless the whole man accompanies it. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself. by Henry Kissinger
Things are more like they are today than they have ever been before. by Dwight Eisenhower
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious. by Bill Maher
When they tell me I'm too old to do something, I attempt it immediately. by Pablo Picasso
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes. by Siddhartha Buddha
The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. by Albert Einstein
I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old. by Benjamin Franklin
A true photograph need not be explained, nor can it be contained in words. by Ansel Adams
When you're comfortable with someone you love, the silence is the best. by Britney Spears
I just finished my first book. Pretty soon, I'm gonna read another. by Rodney Dangerfield
Most of the problems a President has to face have their roots in the past. by Harry Truman
The greatest penalty of evildoing - namely, to grow into the likeness of bad men. by Plato
What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. by Jules Renard
When men are full of envy they disparage everything, whether it be good or bad. by Tacitus
When you appeal to force, there's one thing you must never do - lose. by Dwight Eisenhower
Myths and creeds are heroic struggles to comprehend the truth in the world. by Ansel Adams
Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance. by Author Unknown
Truth is confirmed by inspection and delay; falsehood by haste and uncertainty. by Tacitus
The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity. by Ayn Rand
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. by Winston Churchill
When asked, 'How do you write?' I invariably answer, 'one word at a time.' by Stephen King
It is always more difficult to fight against faith than against knowledge. by Adolf Hitler
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. by Groucho Marx
I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me. by Dudley Malone
There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. by Oscar Levant
We have to do the best we can. This is our sacred human responsibility. by Albert Einstein
None are so fond of secrets as those who do not mean to keep them. by Charles Caleb Colton
As President, I have no eyes but constitutional eyes; I cannot see you. by Abraham Lincoln
Feel no sadness because of evil thoughts: it only strengthens them. by Nachman of Bratslav
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. by Laurence Peter
The United States is in no sense founded upon the Christian doctrine. by George Washington
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women. by Groucho Marx
You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police. by Jack Nicholson
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. by Winston Churchill
The nearest way to glory is to strive to be what you wish to be thought to be. by Socrates
There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us. by Laurence Peter
People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately. by Russell Baker
When we die, our bodies are buried.  When we live, our souls are buried. by Jason Mechalek
A man should believe in God through faith, not because of miracles. by Nachman of Bratslav
Enjoy your job, make lots of money, work within the law. Choose any two. by Author Unknown
The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousandfold. by Aristotle
Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. by Oscar Wilde
Whenever a thing is done for the first time, it releases a little demon. by Emily Dickinson
The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
A good book is the best of friends, the same to-day and for ever. by Martin Farquhar Tupper
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. by Johnny Carson
There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. by Martin Luther King Jr.
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. by George Carlin
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. by Oscar Wilde
I didn't come to Washington to be loved and I haven't been disappointed. by Philip L. Gramm
The man who has no sense of history, is like a man who has no ears or eyes. by Adolf Hitler
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Pennies do not come from heaven. They have to be earned here on earth. by Margaret Thatcher
Whoever despises himself still respects himself as one who despises. by Friedrich Nietzsche
The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. by Abraham Lincoln
If I am anything, which I highly doubt, I have made myself so by hard work. by Isaac Newton
To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions. by Benjamin Franklin
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. by Eleanor Roosevelt
If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him. by Benjamin Franklin
There are two kinds of people in this world: Michael Jackson fans and losers. by Seth Green
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. by Christopher Morley
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. by Erna Bombeck
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money. by Johnny Carson
Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery. by Calvin Coolidge
You don't have to stay up nights to succeed; you have to stay awake days. by Author Unknown
Never ascribe to malice, that which can be explained by incompetence. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. by Wayne Dyer
In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it. by George Bernard Shaw
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent. by John Donne
Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended. by George Bernard Shaw
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. by Robert Frost
True patriotism hates injustice in its own land more than anywhere else. by Clarence Darrow
We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love. by Mother Teresa
Divide and rule, a sound motto. Unite and lead, a better one. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If there is one sound the follows the march of humanity, it is the scream. by David Gemmell
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. by Josh Billings
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. by Erica Jong
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. by Emile Zola
Forgiveness is not an occasional act: it is a permanent attitude. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Admiration. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. by Ambrose Bierce
Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death. by Omar Bradley
This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections. by Saint Augustine
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. by Baltasar Gracian
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. by Louis Hector Berlioz
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. by Abraham Lincoln
Let the river roll which way it will, cities will rise on its banks. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
This world is a comedy to those that think; a tragedy to those that feel. by Horace Walpole
I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question. by Yogi Berra
Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn. My God do you learn. by C.S. Lewis
A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows. by George Bernard Shaw
Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet. by Bill Cosby
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. by Helen Keller
There is more hunger in the world for love and appreciation than for bread. by Mother Teresa
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. by Henny Youngman
When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it. by Anatole France
Reading makes a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man. by Francis Bacon
A friend is able to see you as the wonderful person God created you to be. by Ann D. Parrish
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. by Steve Martin
Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another. by Plato
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. by Mahatma Gandhi
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day. by Johnny Carson
The devil made me do it the first time, and after that I did it on my own. by Robert Fulghum
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. by Josh Billings
The surest way of spoiling a pleasure is to start examining your satisfaction. by C.S. Lewis
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. by Mark Twain
A man can stand anything except a succession of ordinary days. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The words printed here are concepts. You must go through the experiences. by Saint Augustine
An orator is a man who says what he thinks and feels what he says. by William Jennings Bryan
Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment. by C.S. Lewis
A powerful idea communicates some of its strength to him who challenges it. by Marcel Proust
If you wish to be loved, show more of your faults than your virtues. by Edward Bulwer-Lytton
It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull. by Henry Mencken
Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily. by Napoleon Bonaparte
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. by Steven Wright
The secret of acting is sincerity. If you can fake that, you've got it made. by George Burns
It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much. by Yogi Berra
There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. by Jimi Hendrix
Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story. by Margaret Thatcher
I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that. by Lauren Bacall
The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.' by Dorothy Parker
I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong. by Samuel Goldwyn
Dogs look up to you. Cats look down on you. Pigs treat you like equals. by Winston Churchill
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. by Isaac Asimov
To show resentment at a reproach is to acknowledge that one may have deserved it. by Tacitus
A country cannot subsist well without liberty, nor liberty without virtue. by Daniel Webster
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns -- he should be drawn and quoted. by Fred Allen
We are living in a world, where what we earn is a function of what we learn. by Bill Clinton
The thought of being president frightens me. I do not think I want the job. by Ronald Reagan
Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. by Rita Rudner
False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil. by Socrates
Ambition is pitiless. Any merit that it cannot use it finds despicable. by Eleanor Roosevelt
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. by Mark Twain
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. by Abraham Lincoln
Imagine what you desire. Will what you imagine. Create what you will. by George Bernard Shaw
There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer. by Ansel Adams
The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
If we do not help a man in trouble, it is as if we caused the trouble. by Nachman of Bratslav
Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets. by Napoleon Bonaparte
No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. by Oscar Wilde
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. by Woody Allen
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. by Aristotle Onassis
It is normal to give away a little of one's life in order not to lose it all. by Albert Camus
I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability. by Oscar Wilde
Men's minds are raised to the level of the women with whom they associate. by Alexandre Dumas
I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman! by Homer Simpson
Error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it. by Thomas Jefferson
Greatness is not where we stand but in what direction we are moving. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
The laws of gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. by Albert Einstein
The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer. by Henry Kissinger
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit. by Aristotle
What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other? by George Eliot
It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. by Harry Truman
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. by Henry Kissinger
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. by Will Rogers
Truth is sacred; and if you tell the truth too often nobody will believe it. by GK Chesterton
It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself. by Eleanor Roosevelt
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. by Robert Frost
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed. by Christopher Morley
In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels. by Aristotle
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. by Mark Twain
Common-sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom. by Samuel Taylor Coleridge
I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob. by William F. Buckley
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. by Fran Lebowitz
In America, anyone can become president. That's one of the risks you take. by Adlai Stevenson
We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. by Dorothy Parker
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. by Albert Einstein
Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness possible. by Marcel Proust
The arrogance of the artist is a very profound thing, and it fortifies you. by James Michener
Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions. by Frank Lloyd Wright
If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things. by Plato
He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life. by Muhammad Ali
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. by Doug Larson
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. by T.S. Eliot
Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. by Benjamin Franklin
Man still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin. by Charles Darwin
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. by Douglas Adams
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. by Bill Cosby
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. by Herbert Samuel
The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men. by Plato
Find me a man who's interesting enough to have dinner with and I'll be happy. by Lauren Bacall
If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect. by Benjamin Franklin
As a rule, men worry more about what they can't see than about what they can. by Julius Caesar
War is an art and as such is not susceptible of explanation by fixed formula. by George Patton
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. by Ed Gardner
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both. by Dwight Eisenhower
Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others. by Robert Louis Stevenson
Principles only mean something when you stick to them when its inconvenient. by Author Unknown
A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice. by Bill Cosby
I am prepared to die, but there is no cause for which I am prepared to kill. by Mahatma Gandhi
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. by Dorothy Parker
Freedom is hammered out on the anvil of discussion, dissent, and debate. by Hubert H. Humphrey
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. by Albert Camus
When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion. by Abraham Lincoln
How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheese? by Charles de Gaulle
Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. by Henry Thoreau
The essence of romantic love is not the company of a lover but the pursuit. by Andrew Sullivan
A great part of courage is the courage of having done the thing before. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend. by Martin Luther King Jr.
If you are gonna kick society in the teeth, you might as well use both feet. by Keith Richards
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. by Mark Twain
The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is a knowledge of our own ignorance. by Benjamin Franklin
Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. by Nicole Hollander
We need not just a new generation of leadership but a new gender of leadership. by Bill Clinton
Great spirits have always encountered violent oppostion from mediocre minds. by Albert Einstein
The essence of a self-reliant and autonomous culture is an unshakeable egoism. by Henry Mencken
Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed. by Mahatma Gandhi
The courage of the poet is to keep ajar the door that leads into madness. by Christopher Morley
Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God. by Heywood Broun
I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts. by John Locke
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. by Jim Backus
It's better to be good than evil, but one achieves goodness at a terrific cost. by Stephen King
Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of the imagination. by John Dewey
The best defense against usurpatory government is an assertive citizenry. by William F. Buckley
A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave. by Mahatma Gandhi
Aim at Heaven and you will get Earth thrown in. Aim at Earth and you get neither. by C.S. Lewis
Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons. by Buckminster Fuller
I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my nap. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now. by Jack Handey
Saving is a fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you. by Winston Churchill
Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them. by Marcel Proust
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. by Dave Barry
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. by Mark Twain
It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. by Siddhartha Buddha
Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. by Bertrand Russell
Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with. by Will Rogers
In politics shared hatreds are almost always the basis of friendships. by Alexis de Tocqueville
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. by Mother Teresa
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. by George Burns
As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others. by Bill Gates
I always prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves so much trouble. by Rudyard Kipling
The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. by Ring Lardner
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. by Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. by Yogi Berra
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans. by Ronald Reagan
Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. by Henry Kissinger
No matter what you do, somebody always imputes meaning into your books. by Theodor Seuss Geisel
Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live. by Dorothy Parker
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it. by GK Chesterton
I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it short. by Blaise Pascal
I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning. by Andy Warhol
I bought some batteries but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again. by Steven Wright
If I must choose between righteousness and peace, I choose righteousness. by Theodore Roosevelt
Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. by Robert Frost
History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. by Dwight Eisenhower
There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way. by Christopher Morley
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. by Bill Gates
Our passions are not too strong, they are too weak. We are far too easily pleased. by C.S. Lewis
I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell. by Harry Truman
You show people what you're willing to fight for when you fight your friends. by Hillary Clinton
You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. by Robert Frost
The faculty of imagination is both the rudder and the bridle of the senses. by Leonardo da Vinci
Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. by Saul Bellow
I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering. by Robert Frost
An atheist is one who hopes the Lord will do nothing to disturb his disbelief. by Franklin Jones
The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes. by Winston Churchill
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. by Plato
Hell is paved with good intentions, not with bad ones. All men mean well. by George Bernard Shaw
The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything. by Theodore Roosevelt
Absence and death are the same - only that in death there is no suffering. by Theodore Roosevelt
No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. by Henry Mencken
A man only curses because he doesn't know the words to express what is on his mind. by Malcolm X
I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free. by Abraham Lincoln
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. by Johnny Carson
Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other. by George MacDonald
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. by Mark Twain
A politician is a statesman who approaches every question with an open mouth. by Adlai Stevenson
You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write. by Saul Bellow
It is an unfortunate fact that we can secure peace only by preparing for war. by John F. Kennedy
Towering genius disdains a beaten path. It seeks regions hitherto unexplored. by Abraham Lincoln
Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack. by George Patton
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. by Winston Churchill
The Moral Law tells us the tune we have to play: our instincts are merely the keys. by C.S. Lewis
'You scratch my back, and I'll suck blood out of yours' - that is the insect motto. by Dave Barry
It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you. by Dick Cheney
That woman speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any one of them. by Dorothy Parker
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. by Henry Ford
The wise man learns more from the fool than the fool learns from the wise man. by Marcus Aurelius
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. by Kahlil Gibran
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. by Albert Camus
I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed. by Bruce Lee
I conquered my hostility by putting it away until the day I might need it. by Nachman of Bratslav
Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. by Kurt Vonnegut
You owe it to yourself to be the best you can possibly be - in baseball and in life. by Pete Rose
I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him. by Booker T. Washington
America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our people. by George W. Bush
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. by Elbert Hubbard
Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. by Francis William Bourdillon
If investments are keeping you awake at night, sell down to the sleeping point. by Author Unknown
Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself. by Robin Williams
People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like. by Abraham Lincoln
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. by Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice. by Mark Twain
A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction. by Mae West
There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking. by Thomas Edison
Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable. by Henry Mencken
Anger is one of the sinews of the soul; he that wants it hath a maimed mind. by Benjamin Franklin
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it. by GK Chesterton
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it. by Mark Twain
Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders. by Friedrich Nietzsche
The best thinking has been done in solitude. The worst has been done in turmoil. by Thomas Edison
A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing. by Alexander Hamilton
The object of teaching a child is to enable him to get along without a teacher. by Elbert Hubbard
I keep my good health by having a very bad temper, kept under good control. by Theodore Roosevelt
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher. by Ambrose Bierce
A man's drive for profit should be prompted by the desire to give charity. by Nachman of Bratslav
Too much capitalism does not mean too many capitalists, but too few capitalists. by GK Chesterton
Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. by John Adams
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. by Hunter S. Thompson
Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. by Will Rogers
One can resist the invasion of an army but one cannot resist the invasion of ideas. by Victor Hugo
They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. by Andy Warhol
We should not criticise those who trip by taking a more difficult than usual step. by Dick Hubbard
Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade. by Benjamin Franklin
Try as you will, you cannot annihilate that eternal relic of the human heart, love. by Victor Hugo
I don't like to share my personal life...it wouldn't be personal if I shared it. by George Clooney
Somone lying back getting a wank absolutely should be something we see in cinema. by Ewan McGregor
The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles, but to irrigate deserts. by C.S. Lewis
Just because I look sexy on the cover of Rolling Stone doesn't mean I'm naughty. by Britney Spears
Everyone's a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian between meals. by Colman McCarthy
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. by Mae West
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is Music. by Aldous Huxley
A joyful heart is like the sunshine of God's love, the hope of eternal happiness. by Mother Teresa
Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. by André Gide
Ocean: A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made for man...who has no gills. by Ambrose Bierce
People wish to learn to swim and at the same time to keep one foot on the ground. by Marcel Proust
There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies. by Winston Churchill
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. by Abraham Maslow
He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words. by Elbert Hubbard
It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish. by Mother Teresa
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death. by Leonardo da Vinci
Noble character is best appreciated in those ages in which it can most readily develop. by Tacitus
I think 'no comment' is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again. by Winston Churchill
The fruit that can fall without shaking, indeed is too mellow for me. by Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. by Ambrose Bierce
My first wish is to see this plague of mankind, war, banished from the earth. by George Washington
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? by Ernest Hemingway
Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. by Aldous Huxley
A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him. by Mae West
Many people mistake our work for our vocation. Our vocation is the love of Jesus. by Mother Teresa
Had I been chosen President again, I am certain I could not have lived another year. by John Adams
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. by Mel Brooks
To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is a spark. by Victor Hugo
A film is never really any good unless the camera is an eye in the head of a poet. by Orson Welles
Until you do what you believe in, how do you know whether you believe in it or not? by Leo Tolstoy
Having a male gynecologist is like going to an auto mechanic who doesn't own a car. by Carrie Snow
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead. by Author Unknown
We must learn to live together as brothers, or perish together as fools. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Is one religion as good as another? Is one horse in the Derby as good as another? by GK Chesterton
The Goliath of totalitarianism will be brought down by the David of the microchip. by Ronald Reagan
A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day. by Emily Dickinson
Some succeed by what they know; some by what they do; and a few by what they are. by Elbert Hubbard
All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. by Pablo Picasso
You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours. by Yogi Berra
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year. by Mark Twain
I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. by Pablo Picasso
It is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie awake about them afterward. by Baltasar Gracian
Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age. by Jeanne Moreau
If you cannot lift the load off another's back, do not walk away. Try to lighten it. by Frank Tyger
Happiness consists in activity. It is running stream, not a stagnant pool. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. by Erna Bombeck
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. by Martin Luther King Jr.
There are three ingredients in the good life: learning, earning and yearning. by Christopher Morley
If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion. by George Bernard Shaw
Art calls for complete mastery of techniques, developed by reflection within the soul. by Bruce Lee
The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age. by Lucille Ball
To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace. by George Washington
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't. by Edward A. Murphy
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. by Mother Teresa
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? by Henry Mencken
Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame. by GK Chesterton
Love is agrowing, to full constant light; and his first minute, after noon, is night. by John Donne
The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons. by Fyodor Dostoevsky
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone. by Bill Cosby
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. by Franklin D. Roosevelt
Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. by John F. Kennedy
Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. by Pablo Picasso
When people ask me if I went to film school I tell them 'no, I went to films.' by Quentin Tarantino
Beauty is truth, truth beauty. That is all ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know. by John Keats
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. by Henry Mencken
First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. by Mahatma Gandhi
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. by Scott Adams
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people. by Oscar Wilde
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. by William Shakespeare
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? by Albert Einstein
The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would steal them away. by Ronald Reagan
Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive. by William F. Buckley
To have doubted one's own first principles is the mark of a civilized man. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton. You may as well make it dance. by George Bernard Shaw
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. by Albert Einstein
The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men. by Aristotle
Like many intellectuals, he was incapable of saying a simple thing in a simple way. by Marcel Proust
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim. by George Santayana
Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. by David Grayson
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. by Robert Frost
People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. by Carl Jung
He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. by Bill Cosby
The most dangerous moment for a bad government is when it begins to reform. by Alexis de Tocqueville
When I see a play and understand it the first time, then I know it can't be much good. by T.S. Eliot
You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand. by Leonardo da Vinci
No government can love a child, and no policy can substitute for a family's care. by Hillary Clinton
I have discovered photography. Now I can kill myself. I have nothing else to learn. by Pablo Picasso
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. by Carl Jung
A man never lies as much as after a hunt, during a war, and before an election. by Otto von Bismarck
Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul. by Saint Augustine
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. by Victor Hugo
As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do. by Andrew Carnegie
The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit. by Rush Limbaugh
A scientific man ought to have no wishes, no affections, -- a mere heart of stone. by Charles Darwin
Liberty cannot be established without morality, nor morality without faith. by Alexis de Tocqueville
The contest for ages has been to rescue liberty from the grasp of executive power. by Daniel Webster
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read. by Winston Churchill
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. by Mark Twain
We must never forget that art is not a form of propaganda; it is a form of truth. by John F. Kennedy
Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of their arms. by Aristotle
There is one thing about being President, no one can tell you when to sit down. by Dwight Eisenhower
Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. by Mother Teresa
There is no such thing as a good war and there is no such thing as a bad peace. by Benjamin Franklin
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. by Bill Maher
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex. by Aldous Huxley
The country shall be independent, and we will be satisfied with nothing short of it. by Samuel Adams
Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to? by Clarence Darrow
In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these. by Paul Harvey
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. by Plato
Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. by Martin Luther King Jr.
The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely. by Napoleon Bonaparte
The true meaning of life is to plant trees, whose shade you do not expect to sit. by Nelson Henderson
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. by Albert Camus
We become what we think about all day long. The question is, 'What do you think about?' by Wayne Dyer
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't part anywhere near the place. by Steven Wright
It still remains true that no justification of virtue will enable a man to be virtuous. by C.S. Lewis
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. by Laurence Peter
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. by Robert Frost
There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self. by Benjamin Franklin
The last temptation is the greatest treason: to do the right deed for the wrong reason. by T.S. Eliot
The greatest monarch on the proudest throne is obliged to sit upon his own arse. by Benjamin Franklin
I could not handle being a woman, I would stay home all day and play with my breasts. by Steve Martin
Sometimes I do get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. by Ansel Adams
The measure of your life will not be in what you accumulate, but in what you give away. by Wayne Dyer
The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat. by Robert Frost
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late. by Max Kaufman
The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotations. by Isaac Disraeli
A little simplification would be the first step toward rational living, I think. by Eleanor Roosevelt
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. by Phyllis Diller
As the circle of light increases, so does the circumference of darkness around it. by Albert Einstein
We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. by Oscar Wilde
Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect. by Mark Twain
You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. by Al Capone
Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. by Baltasar Gracian
Death and life have their determined appointments; riches and honors depend upon heaven. by Confucius
Literature always anticipates life. It does not copy it, but moulds it to its purpose. by Oscar Wilde
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. by Steve Martin
One of the most responsible things you can do as an adult is to become more of a child. by Wayne Dyer
A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in on the experience. by Elbert Hubbard
I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. by Thomas Edison
I couldn't tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on it's head. by Yogi Berra
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. by Mark Twain
Education doesn't change life much. It just lifts trouble to a higher plane of regard. by Robert Frost
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' by George W. Bush
When the past no longer illuminates the future, the spirit walks in darkness. by Alexis de Tocqueville
The prosperity of a country can be seen simply in how it treats its old people. by Nachman of Bratslav
Sex: the expense is damnable, the position is ridiculous, and the pleasure fleeting. by Samuel Johnson
The flowers anew, returning seasons bring! But beauty faded has no second spring. by Frank Moore Colby
Moral courage is the most valuable and usually the most absent characteristic in men. by George Patton
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't. by Lyall Watson
This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime. by Mike Tyson
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them. by Mark Twain
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. by Oscar Wilde
When a man is able to take abuse with a smile, he is worthy to become a leader. by Nachman of Bratslav
Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is full victory. by Mahatma Gandhi
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. by Marcus Aurelius
America is an enormous frosted cupcake in the middle of millions of starving people. by Gloria Steinem
God, as some cynic has said, is always on the side which has the best football coach. by Heywood Broun
Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream. by Rush Limbaugh
Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor. by Robert Frost
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. by Mark Twain
We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition. by Alex Comfort
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. by Dorothy Parker
Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each other. by Oscar Wilde
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. by Joe Theismann
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. by Bill Cosby
Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together. by George Eliot
We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. by Ambrose Bierce
There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. by Bill Clinton
As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence. by Benjamin Franklin
In my heart, I think a woman has two choices: Either she's a feminist or a masochist. by Gloria Steinem
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. by Aristotle
The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible. by Albert Einstein
If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry. by Emily Dickinson
The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about. by Wayne Dyer
I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know. by Rodney Dangerfield
Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it, we go nowhere. by Carl Sagan
Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt. by Dorothy Parker
Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it. by C.S. Lewis
If you want to get laid, go to college, but if you want an education, go to the library. by Frank Zappa
You do not lead by hitting people over the head -- that's assault, not leadership. by Dwight Eisenhower
I am a strong believer in luck and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. by Benjamin Franklin
Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed. by Oscar Wilde
Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer but the right answer. by John F. Kennedy
Not only does God play dice, but he sometimes throws them where they cannot be seen. by Stephen Hawking
I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your intelligence. by William F. Buckley
The right thing to do never requires any subterfuge, it is always simple and direct. by Calvin Coolidge
I mistrust the judgment of every man in a case in which his own wishes are concerned. by Daniel Webster
Children are innocent and love justice, while most adults are wicked and prefer mercy. by GK Chesterton
Nature scarcely ever gives us the very best; for that we must have recourse to art. by Baltasar Gracian
It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good - and less trouble. by Mark Twain
Slang is the language which takes off its coat, spits on its hands - and goes to work. by Carl Sandburg
We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove. by Mark Twain
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. by Bill Cosby
Certain things, if not seen as lovely or detestable, are not being correctly seen at all. by C.S. Lewis
Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless. by Thomas Edison
It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself. by Thomas Jefferson
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. by Samuel Johnson
Children always understand. They have open minds. They have built-in shit detectors. by Madonna Ciccone
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. by Dorothy Parker
It is with our passions, as it is with fire and water, they are good servants but bad masters. by Aesop
A government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we'll ever see on this earth. by Ronald Reagan
Platitudes? Yes, there are platitudes. Platitudes are there because they are true. by Margaret Thatcher
There are two ways of spreading light; to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. by Edith Wharton
To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself. by Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
There is no act, however virtuous, for which ingenuity may not find some bad motive. by Thomas Jefferson
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. by Bill Cosby
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. by Mark Twain
It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf. by Walter Lippman
In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration. by Ansel Adams
Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you. by Saint Augustine
We are in the transport business. We transport audiences from one place to another. by Jerry Bruckheimer
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. by Woody Allen
Those that despise people will never get the best out of others and themselves. by Alexis de Tocqueville
Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft! by Theodore Roosevelt
An event has happened, upon which it is difficult to speak, and impossible to be silent. by Edmund Burke
Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves. by James Matthew Barrie
Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren't very new at all. by Abraham Lincoln
Proverbs are always platitudes until you have personally experienced the truth of them. by Aldous Huxley
Leadership has a harder job to do than just choose sides. It must bring sides together. by Jesse Jackson
Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. by Henry Ford
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. by Erna Bombeck
One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. by Mark Twain
These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own. by GK Chesterton
Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible. by Saint Augustine
Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination. by Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
Arguing is really saying, "If you were really more like me, then I could like you better." by Wayne Dyer
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die. by Johnny Carson
Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live. by Socrates
Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little. by Edmund Burke
There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily. by George Washington
All theoretical chemistry is really physics; and all theoretical chemists know it. by Richard P. Feynman
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. by Robert Frost
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. by Douglas Adams
A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student. by Ambrose Bierce
A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. by Robert Frost
He that would live in peace and at ease must not speak all he knows or all he sees. by Benjamin Franklin
Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none. by Benjamin Franklin
We can only reason from what is; we can reason on actualities, but not on possibilities. by Thomas Paine
If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. by Thomas Edison
If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon shots. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide. by Napoleon Bonaparte
An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff. by Adlai Stevenson
The wisdom of the wise and the experience of the ages are perpetuated by quotations. by Benjamin Disraeli
Impartiality is a pompous name for indifference, which is an elegant name for ignorance. by GK Chesterton
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. by Winston Churchill
History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. by Kurt Vonnegut
What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome. by Friedrich Nietzsche
There are no moral phenomena at all, but only a moral interpretation of phenomena. by Friedrich Nietzsche
A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it. by Jack Handey
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself. by Oscar Wilde
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance. by Laurence Peter
The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge. by Ambrose Bierce
If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change. by Siddhartha Buddha
If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a Nation gone under. by Ronald Reagan
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. by Oscar Wilde
I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. by James Michener
Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life. by Siddhartha Buddha
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. by Eleanor Roosevelt
It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But it is better to be good than to be ugly. by Oscar Wilde
In a separation it is the one who is not really in love who says the more tender things. by Marcel Proust
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. by Phyllis Diller
We have to do more than just elect a new President if we truly want to change this country. by Dan Quayle
Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. by George Bernard Shaw
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable. by John F. Kennedy
True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?' by Martin Luther King Jr.
Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him. by Aldous Huxley
It is not the lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. by Friedrich Nietzsche
The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way. by Mark Twain
Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's ok, because you can't afford it anyway. by Jim Davis
A tyrant is always stirring up some war or other, in order that the people may require a leader. by Plato
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. by Charles Schulz
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. by Henry Mencken
There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root. by Henry Thoreau
Without the aid of trained emotions the intellect is powerless against the animal organism. by C.S. Lewis
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. by Germaine Greer
Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil. by C.S. Lewis
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face -- forever. by George Orwell
Nothing is wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. by Kenneth Millar
A hero is no braver than an ordinary person, but he is braver five minutes longer. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people. Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded. by John McCain
Of course the meek will inherit the earth, what, did you think they'd take it by force? by Author Unknown
The more you read about politics, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. by Will Rogers
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. by George Bernard Shaw
There are two ways of spreading light -- to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. by Edith Wharton
The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things. by Henry Ward Beecher
Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress...but I repeat myself. by Mark Twain
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. by William Congreve
Politics is a profession; a serious, complicated and, in its true sense, a noble one. by Dwight Eisenhower
Good sex is like good Bridge: if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. by Mae West
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will; he will be sure to repent it. by Socrates
If a man is proud of his wealth, he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it. by Socrates
To be absolutely certain about something, one must know everything or nothing about it. by Henry Kissinger
If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time; for that's the stuff life is made of. by Benjamin Franklin
Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it. by Henry Ford
Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. by C.S. Lewis
When men yield up the privilege of thinking, the last shadow of liberty quits the horizon. by Thomas Paine
A sound mind in a sound body is a short but full description of a happy state in this world. by John Locke
If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. by Henry Thoreau
No side will win the Battle of the Sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy. by Henry Kissinger
If you want to conquer fear, don't sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy. by Andrew Carnegie
Goldie and I did have a car stolen right out of our yard. It took us three days to notice. by Kurt Russell
Last night I was playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. by Steven Wright
No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear. by Edmund Burke
Photography is more than a medium for factual communication of ideas. It is a creative art. by Ansel Adams
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. by Alfred Hitchcock
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. by Theodore Roosevelt
Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. by Elbert Hubbard
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.  Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read. by Groucho Marx
Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us. by Thomas Paine
In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged. by Hans Nouwens
Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. by Steve Martin
Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does, the better. by André Gide
Experience proves this, or that, or nothing, according to the preconceptions we bring to it. by C.S. Lewis
The mind does not create what it perceives, any more than the eye creates the rose. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. by Charles Robert
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake -- which I also keep handy. by W.C. Fields
If you're afraid to ask the question, it's probably because you already know the answer. by Miriam M. Wynn
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. by Lily Tomlin
People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be, not what you nag them to be. by Author Unknown
Anyone who invokes authors in discussion is not using his intelligence but his memory. by Leonardo da Vinci
Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. by Henry Mencken
Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. by Laurence Peter
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. by Doug Larson
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. by E.B. White
A world without nuclear weapons would be less stable and more dangerous for all of us. by Margaret Thatcher
It is a wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellent lies before us. by Isaac Disraeli
Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself. by Milton Friedman
I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away. by Jack Handey
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. by W.C. Fields
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. by Albert Einstein
Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain. by John F. Kennedy
All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I'd fight him too. by Mike Tyson
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. by Winston Churchill
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. by Winston Churchill
A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of Creation. by Friedrich Nietzsche
Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying. by Author Unknown
I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.' by Oscar Levant
America did not invent human rights.  In a very real sense...human rights invented America. by Jimmy Carter
The battle, Sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. by Patrick Henry
The people who cast the votes don't decide an election, the people who count the votes do. by Joseph Stalin
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down. by Woody Allen
God is more truly imagined than expressed, and He exists more truly than He is imagined. by Saint Augustine
It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge. by Albert Einstein
And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. by Abraham Lincoln
History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies. by Alexis de Tocqueville
Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others. by Aristotle
It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder. by Albert Einstein
I would rather be a failure doing something I love than be a sucess doing something I hate. by George Burns
History teaches that wars begin when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap. by Ronald Reagan
A 'geek' by definition is someone who eats live animals....I've never eaten live animals. by Crispin Glover
The sports page records people's accomplishments; The front page nothing but their failures. by Earl Warren
The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. by Muhammad Ali
Peace, commerce and honest friendship with all nations; entangling alliances with none. by Thomas Jefferson
Less disappointing than life, great works of art do not begin by giving us all their best. by Marcel Proust
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. by Elbert Hubbard
My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way. by Ernest Hemingway
When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?' by Sydney Harris
The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not. by C.S. Lewis
I know not what course others make take, but as for me: give me Liberty, or give me death. by Patrick Henry
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. by Woody Allen
We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. by Jonathan Swift
The act of defending any of the cardinal virtues has today all the exhilaration of a vice. by GK Chesterton
Those will be thy best friends, not to whom thou hast done good, but who have done good to thee. by Tacitus
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. by Henny Youngman
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places. by Mark Twain
I installed a skylight in my apartment yesterday. The people who live above me are furious. by Steven Wright
If one is only to talk from first-hand experience, conversation would be a very poor business. by C.S. Lewis
Time passes, and little by little everything that we have spoken in falsehood becomes true. by Marcel Proust
They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse. by Emily Dickinson
In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. by Christopher Morley
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. by George Patton
I thought it completely absurd to mention my name in the same breath as the Presidency. by Dwight Eisenhower
Where there is a lack of honor in government, the morals of the whole people are poisoned. by Herbert Hoover
Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind. by Marcel Proust
The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers. by Carl Jung
The American temptation is to believe that foreign policy is a subdivision of psychiatry. by Henry Kissinger
The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid. by Art Spander
This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators. by Dick Vertleib
When we are out of sympathy with the young, then I think our work in this world is over. by George MacDonald
There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle. by Robert Alden
A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right. by Thomas Paine
I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again. by Socrates
He who learns but does not think, is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger. by Confucius
God grants liberty only to those who love it, and are always ready to guard and defend it. by Daniel Webster
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. by Marcel Proust
A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep. by Saul Bellow
Every author should weigh his work and ask, 'Will humanity gain any benefit from it?' by Nachman of Bratslav
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. by Ambrose Bierce
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. by W. Somerset Maugham
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else. by George Bernard Shaw
Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that nobody had said it before him. by Mark Twain
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. by Albert Einstein
The man who acts humble in order to win praise is guilty of the lowest form of pride. by Nachman of Bratslav
Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attraction of others. by Oscar Wilde
The great virtue in life is real courage that knows how to face facts and live beyond them. by D.H. Lawrence
Pretty much all the honest truth-telling there is in the world is done by children. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. by Woody Allen
Four-fifths of all our troubles would disappear, if we would only sit down and keep still. by Calvin Coolidge
The reformer is always right about what is wrong. He is generally wrong about what is right. by GK Chesterton
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. by Blaise Pascal
War - an act of violence whose object is to constrain the enemy, to accomplish our will. by George Washington
An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. by Dwight Eisenhower
Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. by Patrick Henry
Love is the idler's occupation, the warrior's relaxation, and the soverign's ruination. by Napoleon Bonaparte
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford  to be stupid with them. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Cowards die many times before their deaths. The valiant never taste of death but once. by William Shakespeare
A shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. by Carl Jung
The history of free men is never really written by chance but by choice -- their choice. by Dwight Eisenhower
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. by Johnny Carson
The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. by Marlon Brando
You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war. by Napoleon Bonaparte
I love Thanksgiving. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. by Arnold Schwarzenegger
For a creative writer possession of the 'truth'' is less important than emotional sincerity. by George Orwell
When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships. by Andy Warhol
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. by Laurence Peter
He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have. by Socrates
Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense. by Chapman Cohen
I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world. by Mother Teresa
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. by Bertrand Russell
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. by Winston Churchill
A woman isn't complete without a man. But where do you find a man - a real man - these days? by Lauren Bacall
The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it. by Carl Jung
There is nothing easier than lopping off heads and nothing harder than developing ideas. by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. by Muhammad Ali
If the primary aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. by Thomas Aquinas
If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date. by Olin Miller
Saturate yourself with your subject and the camera will all but take you by the hand. by Margaret Bourke-White
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. by Winston Churchill
The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. by Benjamin Disraeli
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. by Oscar Wilde
The worst moment for the athieist is when he feels thankful and has no one to thank. by Dante Gabriel Rossetti
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there. by Fred Allen
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. by Ernest Hemingway
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. by Henry Mencken
Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods. by C.S. Lewis
Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through. by Jonathan Swift
When people stop believing in God, they don't believe in nothing -- they believe in anything. by GK Chesterton
No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation. by Douglas MacArthur
Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience. by George Washington
Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else. by Gloria Steinem
There is one thing alone that stands the brunt of life throughout its course: a quiet conscience. by Euripides
The President is the last person in the world to know what the people really want and think. by James Garfield
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything. by Oscar Wilde
Warmaking doesn't stop warmaking. If it did, our problems would have stopped millennia ago. by Colman McCarthy
Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. by C.S. Lewis
The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right. by Mark Twain
In the very books in which philosophers bid us scorn fame, they inscribe their names. by Marcus Tullius Cicero
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. by Steve Martin
Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
A nation which can prefer disgrace to danger is prepared for a master, and deserves one! by Alexander Hamilton
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric. by Bertrand Russell
Pride is an admission of weakness; it secretly fears all competition and dreads all rivals. by Fulton J. Sheen
Welfare's purpose should be to eliminate, as far as possible, the need for its own existence. by Ronald Reagan
A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
The great nations have always acted like gangsters, and the small nations like prostitutes. by Stanley Kubrick
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. by Mark Twain
It is the province of knowledge to speak and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Poetry too is a little incarnation, giving body to what had been before invisible and inaudible. by C.S. Lewis
Peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations -- entangling alliances with none. by Thomas Jefferson
A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want. by Madonna Ciccone
Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. by Marcus Tullius Cicero
The great masses of the people will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one. by Adolf Hitler
Work is something you can count on, a trusted, lifelong friend who never deserts you. by Margaret Bourke-White
To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukaemia with leeches. by Margaret Thatcher
I do not want the peace that passeth understanding, I want the understanding that brings peace. by Helen Keller
I never believed there was one code of morality for a public and another for a private man. by Thomas Jefferson
He who controls the present, controls the past. He who controls the past, controls the future. by George Orwell
The worst thing that could happen to anybody, would be to not be used for anything by anybody. by Kurt Vonnegut
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art. by Eleanor Roosevelt
I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn. by Robert Frost
What a profound significance small things assume when the woman we love conceals them from us. by Marcel Proust
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other 'sins' are invented nonsense. by Robert Heinlein
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. by Mahatma Gandhi
Those who believe they are exclusively in the right are generally those who achieve something. by Aldous Huxley
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. by Fran Lebowitz
Until man duplicates a blade of grass, nature can laugh at his so-called scientific knowledge. by Thomas Edison
If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion. by Edmond and Jules de Goncourt
You got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. by Yogi Berra
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. by J.R.R. Tolkien
'It will obliterate your senses!' reports David Gillin, who obviously writes autobiographically. by Roger Ebert
There is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes. by C.S. Lewis
Opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work. by Thomas Edison
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. by George Burns
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. by Mark Twain
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. by Henny Youngman
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. by William James
Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore, so do our minutes hasten to their end. by William Shakespeare
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. by Margaret Thatcher
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it. by Laurence Peter
The task of the leader is to get his people from where they are to where they have not been. by Henry Kissinger
A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water. by Eleanor Roosevelt
No country can act wisely simultaneously in every part of the globe at every moment of time. by Henry Kissinger
So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money? by Ayn Rand
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. by George Eliot
But what minutes! Count them by sensation, and not by calendars, and each moment is a day. by Benjamin Disraeli
If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim. by Margaret Thatcher
Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. by Robert Louis Stevenson
The history of liberty is a history of limitation of government power, not the increase of it. by Woodrow Wilson
Short-circuiting the long-established principles of patient negotiation leads to war, not peace. by Jimmy Carter
Bring your desires down to your present means. Increase them only when your increased means permit. by Aristotle
The good thing about being bisexual is that it doubles your chance of a date on a Saturday night. by Woody Allen
Our nettlesome task is to discover how to organize our strength into compelling power. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Some people have a gift for stupidity, an almost mystic ability to withstand any form of logic. by David Gemmell
Happiness is a Swedish sunset; it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it. by Mark Twain
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. by Henny Youngman
Ultimately the bond of all companionship, wheather in marriage or in friendship, is conversation. by Oscar Wilde
The MPAA rates this PG-13. It is too vulgar for anyone under 13, and too dumb for anyone over 13. by Roger Ebert
Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe. by Saint Augustine
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. by Clarence Darrow
He wrapped himself in quotations--as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors. by Rudyard Kipling
Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. by Robin Williams
If we will not learn to eat the only food that the universe grows...then we must starve eternally. by C.S. Lewis
After 'The Matrix,' I cannot wear sunglasses. As soon as I put them on, people recognise me. by Carrie-Anne Moss
Love, while always forgiving of imperfections and mistakes, can never cease to will their removal. by C.S. Lewis
No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong. by Albert Einstein
Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies. by Winston Churchill
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. by Mark Twain
It is not a matter of what is true that counts, but a matter of what is perceived to be true. by Henry Kissinger
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. by George Carlin
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. by Orson Welles
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? by Laurence Peter
Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night is a very old human need. by Margaret Mead
Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. by Aristotle
The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance. by Aristotle
Everything has been thought of before, but the difficulty is to think of it again. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
You can have everything in life that you want if you just give enough other people what they want. by Zig Ziglar
It is not what we have that will make us a great nation; it is the way in which we use it. by Theodore Roosevelt
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. by Ambrose Bierce
I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. by Henry Mencken
I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up. by Barbara Bush
A man doesnt want a child he is a dead beat dad. A woman doesnt want a child she is pro choice. by Author Unknown
No one would choose a friendless existence on condition of having all the other things in the world. by Aristotle
If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce. by Winston Churchill
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. by Abraham Lincoln
Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is not obsessed with being right? by Wayne Dyer
Always leave something to wish for; otherwise you will be miserable from your very happiness. by Baltasar Gracian
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. by Groucho Marx
Don't take the wrong side of an argument just because your opponent has taken the right side. by Baltasar Gracian
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. by WT Purkiser
Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good. by Henry Mencken
Responsibilities gravitate to the person who can shoulder them; power to the man who knows how. by Elbert Hubbard
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. by Kin Hubbard
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. by Robert Heinlein
Every positive value has its price in negative terms. The genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima. by Pablo Picasso
In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point. by Friedrich Nietzsche
Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it. by Richard P. Feynman
Arbitrary power is most easily established on the ruins of liberty abused to licentiousness. by George Washington
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. by Frank Lloyd Wright
We cannot be both the world's leading champion of peace and the world's leading supplier of arms. by Jimmy Carter
You punch me, I punch back. I do not believe it's good for ones self-respect to be a punching bag. by Victor Hugo
Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in. by Napoleon Bonaparte
It is in their 'good' characters that novelists make, unawares, the most shocking self-revelations. by C.S. Lewis
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. by Mark Twain
Absence is to love as wind is to fire; It extinguishes the small and kindles the great. by Roger de Bussy-Rabutin
This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it. by Dorothy Parker
Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car. by Laurence Peter
Life -- the way it really is -- is a battle not between bad and good but between bad and worse. by Joseph Brodsky
God is not proud...He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him. by C.S. Lewis
The weakness of men is the facade of strength; the strength of women is the facade of weakness. by Lawrence Diggs
As for a future life, every man must judge for himself between conflicting vague probabilities. by Charles Darwin
Old age has deformities enough of its own. It should never add to them the deformity of vice. by Eleanor Roosevelt
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. by Dorothy Parker
Character is that which reveals moral purpose, exposing the class of things a man chooses and avoids. by Aristotle
If God has created us in His image, we have more than returned the compliment. by Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success. by Henry Thoreau
Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. by Theodore Roosevelt
We firmly believe there is more to life than money, beer, and sex. We just don't know what it is. by Aaron Shapiro
It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job. by Erna Bombeck
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. by Henry Mencken
Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse. One comfort we have: Cincinnati sounds worse. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
It is not the going out of port, but the coming in, that determines the success of a voyage. by Henry Ward Beecher
He that is kind is free, though he is a slave; he that is evil is a slave, though he be a king. by Saint Augustine
The Vietnam War required us to emphasize the national interest rather than abstract principles. by Henry Kissinger
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. by Henry Mencken
Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy. by James Madison
A typical vice of American politics is the avoidance of saying anything real on real issues. by Theodore Roosevelt
When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it. by Madonna Ciccone
Never open the door to a lesser evil, for other and greater ones invariably slink in after it. by Baltasar Gracian
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. by Mother Teresa
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other thing. by Abraham Lincoln
My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure. by Abraham Lincoln
Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. by W. Somerset Maugham
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. by George Bernard Shaw
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that, if you bore people, they think it's their fault. by Henry Kissinger
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? by Steven Wright
I am indeed rich, since my income is superior to my expense, and my expense is equal to my wishes. by Kahlil Gibran
Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees all others. by Winston Churchill
Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost. by Thomas Jefferson
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. by Doug Larson
If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free; if our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. by Edmund Burke
Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art. by Dave Barry
I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. by Mother Teresa
Every poem can be considered in two ways--as what the poet has to say, and as a thing which he makes. by C.S. Lewis
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought, which they avoid. by Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. by Thomas Jefferson
If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. by George Orwell
When we're unemployed, we're called lazy; when the whites are unemployed it's called a depression. by Jesse Jackson
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. by Woody Allen
If you are really a product of a materialistic universe, how is it that you don't feel at home there? by C.S. Lewis
Every act and event is the inevitable result of prior acts and events and is independent of human will. by Karl Marx
I wish TV had a knob so you could turn up the intelligence. The one marked Brightness doesn't work. by Leo Gallagher
I think having land and not ruining it is the most beautiful art that anybody could ever want to own. by Andy Warhol
Those who are preoccupied with 'making a statement' usually don't have any statements worth making. by Thomas Sowell
How can one conceive of a one-party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheeses? by Charles de Gaulle
Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one. by Thomas Paine
To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life. by Robert Louis Stevenson
When I study philosophical works I feel I am swallowing something which I don't have in my mouth. by Albert Einstein
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. by P.J. O'Rourke
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. by Franklin Jones
The charms of the passing woman are generally in direct proportion to the swiftness of her passing. by Marcel Proust
The survival of liberty in our land increasingly depends on the success of liberty in other lands. by George W. Bush
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Man's conquest of Nature turns out, in the moment of its consummation, to be Nature's conquest of Man. by C.S. Lewis
If men will not act for themselves, what will they do when the benefit of their effort is for all? by Elbert Hubbard
I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, that His justice cannot sleep forever. by Thomas Jefferson
Why should we take advice on sex from the pope?  If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't! by George Bernard Shaw
Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. by Martin Luther King Jr.
It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived. by George Patton
There are two types of education. One should teach us how to make a living, And the other how to live. by John Adams
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. by Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a microwave fireplace. I can lay down in front of the fire for the evening in eight minutes. by Steven Wright
Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Santa Claus. by Bart Simpson
There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up. by Booker T. Washington
Some men see things as they are and say why - I dream things that never were and say why not. by George Bernard Shaw
Sweet is the scene where genial friendship plays the pleasing game of interchanging praise. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. by Kahlil Gibran
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. by Woody Allen
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sundance is weird. The movies are weird. You actually have to think about them when you watch them. by Britney Spears
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. by George Carlin
Information, usually seen as the precondition of debate, is better understood as its by-product. by Christopher Lasch
Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water. by Christopher Morley
You should do your own car repairs. It's an easy way to save money and possibly maim yourself for life. by Dave Barry
To wage a war for a purely moral reason is as absurd as to ravish a woman for a purely moral reason. by Henry Mencken
The customs and fashions of men change like leaves on the bough, some of which go and others come. by Dante Alighieri
Everyone has talent; what is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads. by Erica Jong
You may think the President is all-powerful, but he is not. He needs a lot of guidance from the Lord. by Barbara Bush
Marriage is the most natural state of man, and the state in which you will find solid happiness. by Benjamin Franklin
A painter is a man who paints what he sells. An artist, however, is a man that sells what he paints. by Pablo Picasso
I say that a man must be certain of his morality for the simple reason that he has to suffer for it. by GK Chesterton
No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself or get all the credit for doing it. by Andrew Carnegie
I'm not sure how much movies should entertain. I've always been more interested in movies that scar. by David Fincher
No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader. by Robert Frost
He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper. by Edmund Burke
Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. by C.S. Lewis
Where there is no exaggeration there is no love, and where there is no love there is no understanding. by Oscar Wilde
The broad masses of a population are more amenable to the appeal of rhetoric than to any other force. by Adolf Hitler
There are those who hate Christianity and call their hatred an all-embracing love for all religions. by GK Chesterton
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. by Albert Einstein
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. by Bill Cosby
It is the unconquerable nature of man and not the nature of the weapon he uses that ensures victory. by George Patton
The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. by Benjamin Franklin
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. by Dave Barry
There are perhaps no days of our childhood we lived so fully as those we spent with a favorite book. by Marcel Proust
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. by GK Chesterton
I hate it when my leg falls sleep in the middle of the day, because that means it'll be up all night. by Steven Wright
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers. by Thomas Jefferson
My experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don't know anything at all. by Oscar Wilde
Other than heaven, the only place where one's heart is completely safe from the dangers of love is hell. by C.S. Lewis
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so. by Mark Twain
Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism. by Hunter S. Thompson
To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible. by Thomas Aquinas
We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future. by George Bernard Shaw
America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair. by Arnold Toynbee
Most truths are so naked that people feel sorry for them and cover them up, at least a little bit. by Edward R. Murrow
Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world. by George Bernard Shaw
It is in man's heart that the life of nature's spectacle exists; to see it, one must feel it. by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them. by Abraham Lincoln
There is luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel no one else has a right to blame us. by Oscar Wilde
For me, survival is the ability to cope with difficulties, with circumstances, and to overcome them. by Nelson Mandela
No matter how hard the loss, defeat might serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out. by Al Gore
You don't need to be 'straight' to fight and die for your country. You just need to shoot straight. by Barry Goldwater
Liberty is never out of bounds or off limits; it spreads wherever it can capture the imagination of men. by E.B. White
In politics, strangely enough, the best way to play your cards is to lay them face upwards on the table. by H.G. Wells
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you.' by Erich Fromm
I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world. by Thomas Edison
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool. by Richard P. Feynman
It is not once nor twice but times without number that the same ideas make their appearance in the world. by Aristotle
At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid. by Friedrich Nietzsche
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. by Siddhartha Buddha
Religion is essentially the art and the theory of the remaking of man. Man is not a finished creation. by Edmund Burke
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. by Ogden Nash
Some people use language to express thought, some to conceal thought, and others instead of thought. by Author Unknown
I think the American public wants a solemn ass as a President, and I think I'll go along with them. by Calvin Coolidge
Many who seem to be struggling with adversity are happy; many, amid great affluence, are utterly miserable. by Tacitus
Everything is simpler than you think and at the same time more complex than you imagine. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times. by Mark Twain
It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it. by Jeseph Joubert
Surely what a man does when he is caught off his guard is the best evidence as to what sort of man he is. by C.S. Lewis
Wealth is the parent of luxury and indolence, and poverty of meanness and viciousness, and both of discontent. by Plato
When the human race has once acquired a supersitition nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it. by Mark Twain
One man cannot hold another man down in the ditch without remaining down in the ditch with him. by Booker T. Washington
Don't tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. by George Patton
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. by Socrates
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with. by Mark Twain
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. by Author Unknown
The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant and kindness from the unkind. by Kahlil Gibran
The man who regards life as meaningless is not merely unfortunate, but almost disqualified for life. by Albert Einstein
If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry. by Dave Barry
Socialism: An attempt to curb the destructive power of monopolies by creating the biggest one of all. by Author Unknown
When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights. by George Burns
Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. by Thomas Paine
Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time. by E.B. White
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. by Woody Allen
If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry. by Emily Dickinson
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. by Henny Youngman
There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. by Colin Powell
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. by Friedrich Nietzsche
Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties. by John Milton
Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. by Martin Luther King Jr.
The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it. by Mark Twain
What makes us men is that we can think logically. What makes us human is that we sometimes choose not to. by Roger Ebert
Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use. by Mark Twain
Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time. by George Bernard Shaw
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. by Mark Twain
The mintage of wisdom is to know that rest is rust, and that real life is in love, laughter, and work. by Elbert Hubbard
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. by Dan Quayle
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard. by Henry Mencken
Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not. by Oprah Winfrey
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. by Author Unknown
The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried. by GK Chesterton
Scientists make a guess and call it a hypothesis. 'Guess' is too short a word for a professor. by William Jennings Bryan
There is a paradox in pride: it makes some men ridiculous, but prevents others from becoming so. by Charles Caleb Colton
We need an America with the wisdom of experience.  But we must not let America grow old in spirit. by Hubert H. Humphrey
I shall tell you a great secret my friend. Do not wait for the last judgement, it takes place every day. by Albert Camus
There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought. by Laurence Peter
The greatness of our country has been based on our thinking that everyone has a right even to be wrong. by Ronald Reagan
I have gathered a posie of other men's flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is mine own. by John Bartlett
As soon as beauty is sought not from religion and love, but for pleasure, it degrades the seeker. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we may always be free. by Ronald Reagan
Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies. by Oscar Wilde
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, And don't put up with people that are reckless with yours. by Kurt Vonnegut
George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie. by Mark Twain
Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning. by Author Unknown
Find out how much God has given you and from it take what you need; the remainder is needed by others. by Saint Augustine
It is seldom indeed that one parts on good terms, because if one were on good terms, one would not part. by Marcel Proust
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men. by Martin Luther King Jr.
If I've made it a little easier for artists to work in violence, great! I've accomplished something. by Quentin Tarantino
The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home. by James Madison
There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor. by Oscar Wilde
Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is. by Margaret Mitchell
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. by Thomas Edison
The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge. by Elbert Hubbard
The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. by Benajamin Mays
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. by Katherine Hepburn
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota. by Fran Lebowitz
I don't believe in quotas. America was founded on a philosophy of individual rights, not group rights. by Clarence Thomas
We humans do not need to leave Earth to get to a hostile, deadly, alien environment; we already have Miami. by Dave Barry
We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them. by Charles Caleb Colton
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person don't be surprised if they learn their lesson. by Will Rogers
Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense. by Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other. by Robin Williams
Of course I don't believe in it. But I understand that it brings you luck whether you believe in it or not. by Niels Bohr
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. by Robert Frost
There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather who does not adore his grandson. by Victor Hugo
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. by Elbert Hubbard
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. by Robert Frost
This will never be a civilized country until we expend more money for books than we do for chewing gum. by Elbert Hubbard
I'm totally at home on the stage. That's where I live. That's where I was born. That's where I'm safe. by Michael Jackson
Government does not tax to get the money it needs; government always finds a need for the money it gets. by Ronald Reagan
From such beginnings of governments, what could be expected, but a continual system of war and extortion? by Thomas Paine
I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth--even if it costs him his job. by Samuel Goldwyn
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others. by John Andrew Holmes
As every divided kingdom falls, so every mind divided between many studies confounds and saps itself. by Leonardo da Vinci
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away. by Dorothy Parker
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. by Dwight Eisenhower
Being a leader is like being a lady, if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't. by Margaret Thatcher
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. by Norman Vincent Peale
How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it. by Alexandre Dumas
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. by Winston Churchill
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. by Johnny Carson
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had and never will have. by Edgar Watson Howe
If I should die tomorrow, I will have no regrets. I did what I wanted to do. You can't expect more from life. by Bruce Lee
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. by Jack Handey
Ladies of Fashion starve their happiness to feed their vanity, and their love to feed their pride. by Charles Caleb Colton
When you break the big laws, you do not get freedom; you do not even get anarchy. You get the small laws. by GK Chesterton
It's a phonetic language. Anything can make sense. How do you think Dr. Seuss wrote any of that sh*t? by Matthew Clayfield
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree.  In the eyes of children, they are all thirty feet tall. by Larry Wilde
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. by George Patton
When you are arguing against Him you are arguing against the very power that makes you able to argue at all. by C.S. Lewis
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. by Douglas Adams
My dream is of a place and a time where America will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth. by Abraham Lincoln
It is our true policy to steer clear of any permanent alliances with any portion of the foreign world. by George Washington
The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways - I to die, and you to live. Which is better God only knows. by Plato
I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive. by Johnny Carson
Playing dead not only comes in handy when face to face with a bear, but also at important business meetings. by Jack Handey
Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information upon it. by Samuel Johnson
Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. by Dwight Eisenhower
What is more harmful than any vice? Active pity for all the failures and all the weak: Christianity. by Friedrich Nietzsche
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness. by Jack Handey
The Law of conservation of energy tells us we can't get something for nothing, but we refuse to believe it. by Isaac Asimov
You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. by Stephen King
Perhaps one of the most important accomplishments of my administration has been minding my own business. by Calvin Coolidge
It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. by Mark Twain
Lots of people act well, but few people talk well. This shows that talking is the more difficult of the two. by Oscar Wilde
If you are resolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half done already. by Abraham Lincoln
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered.  I myself would say that it had merely been detected. by Oscar Wilde
California is like an artificial limb the rest of the country doesn't really need. You can quote me on that. by Saul Bellow
Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings. by George Will
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. by Phyllis Diller
He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more, He who loses faith, loses all. by Eleanor Roosevelt
If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred. by George Burns
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it. by W. Somerset Maugham
I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself. by Aldous Huxley
The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Everything except God has some natural superior; everything except unformed matter has some natural inferior. by C.S. Lewis
I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies. by William F. Buckley
War can only be abolished through war, and in order to get rid of the gun it is necessary to take up the gun. by Mao Zedong
Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit. by Elbert Hubbard
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. by Hunter S. Thompson
God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing. by C.S. Lewis
Rings and jewels are not gifts but apologies for gifts. The only true  gift is a portion of yourself. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Learning carries within itself certain dangers because out of necessity one has to learn from one's enemies. by Leon Trotsky
I have one yardstick by which I test every major problem-and that yardstick is: Is it good for America? by Dwight Eisenhower
I believe the highest aspiration of man should be individual freedom and the development of the individual. by Ronald Reagan
I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon! What was his name? Apollo Creed? by Homer Simpson
What is good? Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. by Friedrich Nietzsche
I have gained this from philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law. by Aristotle
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets. by Ogden Nash
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane. by M. Grundler
America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great. by Alexis de Tocqueville
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or or not. by Fran Lebowitz
Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering. by Buckminster Fuller
Many a long dispute among divines may be thus abridged: It is so. It is not so. It is so. It is not so. by Benjamin Franklin
A poor but humble man who gives nothing to charity is preferrable to a rich but haughty man who does. by Nachman of Bratslav
Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both. by John Andrew Holmes
The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis. by Dante Alighieri
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. by Frank Lloyd Wright
The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. by Thomas Paine
My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not you'll become a philosopher. by Socrates
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. by Marcel Proust
He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money. by Benjamin Franklin
It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. by W. Somerset Maugham
Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy, and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it. by Thomas Jefferson
Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. by Doug Larson
The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent. by Mark Twain
The whole life of an American is passed like a game of chance, a revolutionary crisis, or a battle. by Alexis de Tocqueville
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I...I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. by Robert Frost
My idea of courage is the guy who has $500,000 tied up in the stock market and turns to the box scores first! by Earl Wilson
I maintain that, if everyone knew what others said about him, there would not be four friends in the world. by Blaise Pascal
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. by Dave Barry
Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future. by Adolf Hitler
We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weeaken or tire. Give us the tools and we will finish the job. by Winston Churchill
Accept good advice gracefully--as long as it doesn't interfere with what you intended to do in the first place. by Gene Brown
Life must be lived and curiosity kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life. by Eleanor Roosevelt
Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no. by Woody Allen
The fickleness of the women I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. by George Bernard Shaw
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. by Dwight Eisenhower
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. by Thomas Jefferson
Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays. by Oscar Wilde
Deliberate with caution, but act with decision; and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness. by Charles Caleb Colton
Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't let our people have guns. Why should we let them have ideas? by Joseph Stalin
Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions -- everyone but a school bus driver. by Laurence Peter
The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. by Theodore Roosevelt
I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs. by Samuel Goldwyn
The intellect is not a serious thing, and never has been. It is an instrument on which one plays, that is all. by Oscar Wilde
Men create gods after their own image, not only with regard to their form but with regard to their mode of life. by Aristotle
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. by Laurence Peter
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good. by Woody Allen
If thou rememb'rest not the slightest folly into which love hast made thee run, though hast not loved. by William Shakespeare
But such is the irresistible nature of truth, that all it asks, and all it wants is the liberty of appearing. by Thomas Paine
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. by Robert Frost
It is hard, if not impossible, to snub a beautiful woman - they remain beautiful and the rebuke recoils. by Winston Churchill
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. by Homer Simpson
Man needs, for his happiness, not only the enjoyment of this or that, but hope and enterprise and change. by Bertrand Russell
I don't think there's anything to be afraid of. Failure brings great rewards -- in the life of an artist. by Quentin Tarantino
Our hope of immortality does not come from any religions, but nearly all religions come from that hope. by Robert G. Ingersoll
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light. by Mark Twain
Outside of its legitimate function, government does nothing as well or as economically as the private sector. by Ronald Reagan
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. by Zsa Zsa Gabor
An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea. by Siddhartha Buddha
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep well?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' by Steven Wright
Nobody can have the consolations of religion or philosophy unless he has first experienced their desolations. by Aldous Huxley
Americans are so enamored of equality, they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. by Alexis de Tocqueville
One deceit needs many others, and so the whole house is built in the air and must soon come to the ground. by Baltasar Gracian
If the other person injures  you, you may forget the injury; but if you injure him, you will always remember. by Kahlil Gibran
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. by Mark Twain
The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking. by Albert Einstein
Civil war? What does that mean? Is there any foreign war? Isn't every war fought between men, between brothers? by Victor Hugo
Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million, but I was just as happy when I had $48 million. by Arnold Schwarzenegger
Whenever science makes a discovery, the devil grabs it while the angels are debating the best way to use it. by Alan Valentine
Mankind censure injustice fearing that they may be the victims of it, and not because they shrink from committing it. by Plato
To laugh with others is one of life's great pleasures. To be laughed at by others is one of life's great hurts. by Frank Tyger
Please, if you ever see me getting beaten up by the police, please put your video camera down and help me. by Bobcat Goldthwait
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one!' by C.S. Lewis
Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey. by Marcel Proust
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered. by GK Chesterton
The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him. by GK Chesterton
Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but stand there and take it. by Lyndon B. Johnson
If we are to abolish the death penalty, I should like to see the first step taken by my friends the murderers. by Alphonse Karr
Ambition is so powerful a passion in the human breast, that however high we reach we are never satisfied. by Nicolo Machiavelli
I'm at an age where I think more about food than sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table. by Rodney Dangerfield
Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive. by GK Chesterton
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides. by Margaret Thatcher
Regarding the debate about faith and works: It's like asking which blade in a pair of scissors is most important. by C.S. Lewis
For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible. by Author Unknown
A man may be loyal to his government and yet oppose the particular principles and methods of administration. by Abraham Lincoln
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. by Johnny Carson
Without a doubt, psychological warfare has proven its right to a place of dignity in our military arsenal. by Dwight Eisenhower
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. by George Bernard Shaw
If you start to think about your physical or moral condition, you usually find that you are sick. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Between two groups of people who want to make inconsistent kinds of worlds, I see no remedy but force. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
It's not that we don't have enough scoundrels to curse; it's that we don't have enough good men to curse them. by GK Chesterton
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. by Ambrose Redmoon
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. by Woody Allen
I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. by Thomas Paine
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. by George Burns
I detest racialism, because I regard it as a barbaric thing, whether it comes from a black man or a white man. by Nelson Mandela
Advice to young writers who want to get ahead without annoying delays: don't write about Man, write about 'a' man. by E.B. White
Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part. by Morgan Freeman
America is the most grandiose experiment the world has seen, but, I am afraid, it is not going to be a success. by Sigmund Freud
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. by Winston Churchill
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. by Erna Bombeck
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. by Mark Twain
There are some who've forgotten why we have a military. It's not to promote war; it's to be prepared for peace. by Ronald Reagan
The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half. by Fyodor Dostoevsky
The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough. by Bill Maher
The Psalmists in telling everyone to praise God are doing what all men do when they speak of what they care about. by C.S. Lewis
In giving, a man receives more than he gives, and the more is in proportion to the worth of the thing given. by George MacDonald
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but whoever looks at it when it has been in the house three days? by George Bernard Shaw
Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability. by John Wooden
God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her. by Benjamin Tillet
I stopped getting the girl about ten years ago. Which is just as well because I'd forgotten what I wanted her for. by John Wayne
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. by Rita Rudner
What is a wedding? Webster's dictionary defines a wedding as 'the process of removing weeds from one's garden.' by Homer Simpson
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. by Robert Benchley
If a man happens to find himself, he has a mansion which he can inhabit with dignity all the days of his life. by James Michener
Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime. by Adlai Stevenson
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. by Winston Churchill
Avoid the base hypocrisy of condemning in one man what you pass over in silence when committed by another. by Theodore Roosevelt
The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. by Dave Barry
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. by Kurt Vonnegut
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough. by Dave Barry
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. by Will Rogers
Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer, but imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master. by Jesse Jackson
When you are in any contest you should work as if there were, to the very last minute, a chance to lose it. by Dwight Eisenhower
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. by Helen Keller
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. by Laurence Peter
America is a nation with many flaws, but hopes so vast that only the cowardly would refuse to acknowledge them. by James Michener
The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires. by Dorothy Parker
Freedom is not America's gift to the world, it is the Almighty God's gift to every man and woman in this world. by George W. Bush
The advice of their elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Now my own suspicion is that the Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose. by J.B.S. Haldane
It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly. by Bertrand Russell
Men are born with two eyes, but only one tongue, in order that they should see twice as much as they say. by Charles Caleb Colton
Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward; they may be beaten but they may start a winning game. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I despise people who go to the gutter on either the right or the left and hurl rocks at those in the center. by Dwight Eisenhower
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it. by Author Unknown
That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history. by Aldous Huxley
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. by Henry Mencken
Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try! by Theodor Seuss Geisel
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. by John Barrymore
Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own. by Sydney Harris
Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. by Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. by Rodney Dangerfield
Pure love and suspicion cannot dwell together: at the door where the latter enters, the former makes its exit. by Alexandre Dumas
We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. by Dave Barry
As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls. by Rita Mae Brown
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. by George Orwell
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back. by Will Rogers
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. by Woody Allen
I have ever deemed it more honorable and more profitable, too, to set a good example than to follow a bad one. by Thomas Jefferson
How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, his precepts! O! 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments. by Benjamin Franklin
Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! by Patrick Henry
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. by Theodor Seuss Geisel
My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all. by Stephen Hawking
When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' by Theodore Roosevelt
If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time. by Marcel Proust
The American people are slow to wrath, but when their wrath is once kindled it burns like a consuming flame. by Theodore Roosevelt
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that. by Steve Martin
"I want to thank Gus Van Sant for selling out so that I could use his editor Curtis Clayton, who did a great job. by Vincent Gallo
Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing...after they have exhausted all other possibilities. by Winston Churchill
Playwriting gets into your blood and you can't stop it. At least, not until the producers or the public tell you to. by T.S. Eliot
What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid-gold baby? Maybe we'll never know. by Jack Handey
Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both. by Benjamin Franklin
Patriotism is easy to understand in America. It means looking out for yourself by looking out for your country. by Calvin Coolidge
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in the oposite direction. by George Carlin
If eighty percent of your sales come from twenty percent of all of your items, just carry those twenty percent. by Henry Kissinger
The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. by Oscar Wilde
The eyes of the world are upon you. The hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you. by Dwight Eisenhower
I went into a restaurant and the sign said 'Breakfast anytime," so I ordered french toast during the Renaissance. by Steven Wright
New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become. by Kurt Vonnegut
The leader of genius must have the ability to make different opponents appear as if they belonged to one category. by Adolf Hitler
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. by Albert Einstein
Childbirth, as a strictly physical phenomenon, is comparable to driving a United Parcel truck through an inner tube. by Dave Barry
You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left. by Yogi Berra
The only thing that does not change is that at any and every time it appears that there have been 'great changes.' by Marcel Proust
If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were. by Kahlil Gibran
I continue to find my greatest pleasure, and so my reward, in the work that precedes what the world calls success. by Thomas Edison
I think that a hat which has a little cannon that fires and then goes back inside the hat is at least a decade away. by Jack Handey
Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. by C.S. Lewis
Man is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness from which he emerges and the infinity in which he is engulfed. by Blaise Pascal
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. by Aristotle
Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course. by George Bernard Shaw
If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives. by Marlon Brando
I think that everyone should get married at least once, so you can see what a silly, outdated institution it is. by Madonna Ciccone
It doesn't matter how many people I've killed. What matters is how I get along with the people who are still alive. by Bruce Willis
Freedom and fear, justice and cruelty, have always been at war, and we know that God is not neutral between them. by George W. Bush
The greatest friend of Truth is time, her greatest enemy is Prejudice, and her constant companion Humility. by Charles Caleb Colton
Many things--such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly--are done worst when we try hardest to do them. by C.S. Lewis
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. by Albert Einstein
No doubt those who really founded modern science were usually those whose love of truth exceeded their love of power. by C.S. Lewis
The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is. by C.S. Lewis
We regard God as an airman regards his parachute; it's there for emergencies but he hopes he'll never have to use it. by C.S. Lewis
Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60. They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall. by Frank Lloyd Wright
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. by Theodore Roosevelt
This most beautiful system [The Universe] could only proceed from the dominion of an intelligent and powerful Being. by Isaac Newton
Stand-up comedy is transient. History shows that you can stand up for so long; after that, you're asked to sit down. by Steve Martin
Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. by Kin Hubbard
If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent. by Isaac Newton
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. by Benjamin Franklin
Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees. by Victor Hugo
I cried because I had no shoes, 'till I met a man who had no feet. So I said, 'You got any shoes you're not using'? by Steven Wright
We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are. by Adelle Davis
Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained. by C.S. Lewis
We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us. by Marcel Proust
A star on a movie set is like a time bomb. That bomb has got to be defused so people can approach it without fear. by Jack Nicholson
"Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. by Dale Carnegie
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. by Winston Churchill
If A is a success in life, than A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. by Albert Einstein
True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us. by Socrates
Learning has been [a] great loser by being shut up in colleges and cells and secluded from the world and good company. by David Hume
Those who excel in virtue have the best right of all to rebel, but then they are of all men the least inclined to do so. by Aristotle
Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. by Joseph Addison
There are no variations except for those who know a norm, and no subtleties for those who have not grasped the obvious. by C.S. Lewis
If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. by John Rockefeller
The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes. by Thomas Hardy
We know too much, and are convinced of too little. Our literature is a substitute for religion, and so is our religion. by T.S. Eliot
Truth is incontrovertible, ignorance can deride it, panic may resent it, malice may destroy it, but there it is. by Winston Churchill
It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience. by Julius Caesar
What, then, is time? If no one asks me, I know what it is. If I wish to explain it to him who asks, I do not know. by Saint Augustine
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. by C.S. Lewis
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing. by Theodore Roosevelt
The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
So long as governments set the example of killing their enemies, private individuals will occasionally kill theirs. by Elbert Hubbard
The main part of intellectual education is not the acquisition of facts but learning how to make facts live. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
Morality, like numinous awe, is a jump; in it, man goes beyond anything that can be 'given' in the facts of experience. by C.S. Lewis
Friendship with oneself is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. by Eleanor Roosevelt
A great photograph is one that fully expresses what one feels, in the deepest sense, about what is being photographed. by Ansel Adams
I think and think for months and years, ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right. by Albert Einstein
I'm so fast that, last night, I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark. by Muhammad Ali
I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately. by Mark Twain
I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent. by Mahatma Gandhi
I love argument, I love debate. I don't expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that's not their job. by Margaret Thatcher
The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. by Albert Einstein
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. by Woody Allen
War is an instrument entirely inefficient toward redressing wrong; and multiplies, instead of indemnifying losses. by Thomas Jefferson
Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as [Gandhi] ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth. by Albert Einstein
If God had wanted us to spend our time fretting about the problems of home ownership, He would never have invented beer. by Dave Barry
The aim of good prose words is to mean what they say. The aim of good poetical words is to mean what they do not say. by GK Chesterton
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. by Sydney Harris
Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old. by Victor Hugo
All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move. by Benjamin Franklin
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman. by Woody Allen
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? by George Carlin
Wisdom stands at the turn in the road and calls upon us publicly, but we consider it false and despise its adherents. by Kahlil Gibran
I do not want a friend who smiles when I smile, who weeps when I weep, for my shadow in the pool can do better than that. by Confucius
Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us. We are not the only experiment. by Buckminster Fuller
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. by Antoine de Saint-Exuper
Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it. by Bertrand Russell
I broke a mirror the other day. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. by Steven Wright
The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens. by Alexis de Tocqueville
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open? by Woody Allen
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. by Mark Twain
It is always thus, impelled by a state of mind which is destined not to last, that we make our irrevocable decisions. by Marcel Proust
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it. by George Bernard Shaw
You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room. by Theodor Seuss Geisel
God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose.  Take which you please - you can never have both. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Genius thinks it can do whatever it sees others doing, but is sure to repent of every ill-judged outlay. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of breadth. by Martin Luther King Jr.
It is only our bad temper that we put down to being tired or worried or hungry; we put our good temper down to ourselves. by C.S. Lewis
In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell. by Henry Mencken
The gap between those who worship different gods is not so wide as the gap between those who worship and those who don't. by C.S. Lewis
You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give. by Eleanor Roosevelt
To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts; but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates. by Henry Thoreau
India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion, other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. by Mark Twain
Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God and nature. by Benjamin Franklin
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. by Winston Churchill
There are two things which a democratic people will always find very difficult - to begin a war and to end it. by Alexis de Tocqueville
The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. by Johnny Carson
The only way to win audiences is to tell people about the life and death of Christ. Every other approach is a waste. by Fulton J. Sheen
The women of this nation in 1876, have greater cause for discontent, rebellion and revolution than the men of 1776. by Susan B. Anthony
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. by Groucho Marx
The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff. by Britney Spears
Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it. by Theodore Roosevelt
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. by Bill Cosby
New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common. by John Locke
It is a general popular error to suppose the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare. by Edmund Burke
A democratic government is the only one in which those who vote for a tax can escape the obligation to pay it. by Alexis de Tocqueville
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. by J.R.R. Tolkien
Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects. by Oscar Wilde
The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are. by Mark Twain
The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms. Very often it does not know what to do with genius. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
When the oak is felled the forest echoes with its fall, but a hundred acorns are sown silently by an unnoticed breeze. by Thomas Carlyle
That is the consolation of a little mind; you have the fun of changing it without impeding the progress of mankind. by Frank Moore Colby
Why should people go out and pay money to see bad films when they can stay at home and see bad television for nothing? by Samuel Goldwyn
One definition of an economist is somebody who sees something happen in practice and wonders if it will work in theory. by Ronald Reagan
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend. by Albert Camus
To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin. by Cardinal Bellarmine
Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details. by Andy Warhol
He that fights and runs away, may turn and fight another day; but he that is in battle slain, will never rise to fight again. by Tacitus
If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; If you would know, and not be known, live in a city. by Charles Caleb Colton
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it. by Mark Twain
To me there has never been a higher source of earthly honor or distinction than that connected with advances in science. by Isaac Newton
There are three arts which are concerned with all things: one which uses, another which makes, and a third which imitates them. by Plato
I deplore the need or the use of troops anywhere to get American citizens to obey the orders of constituted courts. by Dwight Eisenhower
Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others. by Jacob Braude
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. by George Dennison Prentice
Little League baseball is a good thing 'cause it keeps the parents off the streets and it keeps the kids out of the house. by Yogi Berra
The White House: I don't know whether it's the finest public housing in America or the crown jewel of the prison system. by Bill Clinton
Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. by William Shakespeare
Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. by Stephen King
She didn't reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police! Now where did I put my badge?...Hey, that duck's got it! by Chief Wiggum
I should have loved freedom, I believe, at all times, but in the time in which we live I am ready to worship it. by Alexis de Tocqueville
I was angry with my friend I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. by William Blake
As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being. by Carl Jung
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process. by John F. Kennedy
I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do. That is character! by Theodore Roosevelt
If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be. by Thomas Jefferson
If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you. by Calvin Coolidge
Abuse, if you slight it, will gradually die away; but if you show yourself irritated, you will be thought to have deserved it. by Tacitus
Adversity is the state in which man mostly easily becomes acquainted with himself, being especially free of admirers then. by John Wooden
However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them? by Siddhartha Buddha
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. by Martin Luther King Jr.
God never gave man a thing to do concerning which it were irreverent to ponder how the Son of God would have done it. by George MacDonald
The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what a man or woman is able to do that counts. by Booker T. Washington
The battle is now joined on many fronts. We will not waver; we will not tire; we will not falter; and we will not fail. by George W. Bush
We must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it, but sail we must and not drift nor lie at anchor. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
I heard guys say they got into rock and roll to pick up women. I didn't get into rock to pick up women, but I sure adapted. by Ted Nugent
A novel is balanced between a few true impressions and the multitude of false ones that make up most of what we call life. by Saul Bellow
Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. by George Washington
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. by Fred Allen
Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground floor. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
The degree of one's emotions varies inversely with one's knowledge of the facts: the less you know the hotter you get. by Bertrand Russell
Are you entitled to the fruits of your labor or does government have some presumptive right to spend and spend and spend? by Ronald Reagan
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. by Woody Allen
Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow. by Mark Twain
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. by Fred Allen
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws. by Douglas Adams
I have found some of the best reasons I ever had for remaining at the bottom simply by looking at the men at the top. by Frank Moore Colby
A man must be willing to die for justice. Death is an inescapable reality and men die daily, but good deeds live forever. by Jesse Jackson
Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators. by Dave Barry
All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. by C.S. Lewis
Football is like life, it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority. by Vince Lombardi
I walk on untrodden ground. There is scarcely any part of my conduct which may not hereafter be drawn into precedent. by George Washington
America is the first country to have gone from barbarism to decadence without the usual intervening period of civilization. by Oscar Wilde
Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS? It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around. by Jack Handey
Being with a woman never hurt no professional ball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. by Casey Stengel
Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. by Harry Truman
My wife is as handsome as when she was a girl, and I...fell in love with her; and what is more, I have never fallen out. by Abraham Lincoln
Men always want to be a woman's first love; women have a more subtle instinct: what they like is to be a man's last romance. by Oscar Wilde
Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. by Ronald Reagan
When we got into office, the thing that surprised me the most was that things were as bad as we'd been saying they were. by John F. Kennedy
Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him, and to let him know that you trust him. by Booker T. Washington
It is astonishing what an effort it seems to be for many people to put their brains definitely and systematically to work. by Thomas Edison
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. by Oscar Wilde
Unless Christianity is wholly false, the perception of ourselves which we have in moments of shame must be the only true one. by C.S. Lewis
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances. by Thomas Jefferson
Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth. by Mark Twain
Men rise from one ambition to another. First they seek to secure themselves from attack, and then they attack others. by Nicolo Machiavelli
You know what your problem is? It's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies. by Steve Martin
There is hardly a political question in the United States which does not sooner or later turn into a judicial one. by Alexis de Tocqueville
Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind. by C.S. Lewis
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. by Bill Cosby
The poet is in command of his fantasy, while it is exactly the mark of the neurotic that he is possessed by his fantasy. by Lionel Trilling
I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity. by Dwight Eisenhower
Let us have faith that right makes might, and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it. by Abraham Lincoln
Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change. by Jesse Jackson
It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds. by Samuel Adams
I have been the artist with the longest career, and I am so proud and honoured to be chosen from heaven to be invincible. by Michael Jackson
We have a strange illusion that mere time cancels sin. But mere time does nothing either to the fact or to the guilt of a sin. by C.S. Lewis
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. by Bill Vaughan
The average celebrity meets, in one year, ten times the amount of people that the average person meets in his entire life. by Jack Nicholson
I wake each morning torn between the desire to improve the world and the desire to enjoy it. It makes it hard to plan the day. by E.B. White
Always remember, others may hate you- but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself. by Richard Nixon
My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right? by Charles Schulz
Bad men cannot make good citizens. A vitiated state of morals, a corrupted public conscience are incompatible with freedom. by Patrick Henry
Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul; the blue prints of your ultimate achievements. by Woodrow Wilson
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. by Bertrand Russell
The more often a man feels without acting, the less he'll be able to act. And in the long run, the less he'll be able to feel. by C.S. Lewis
The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it. by Elbert Hubbard
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. by Lucille Ball
The best of life is conversation, and the greatest success is confidence, or perfect understanding between two people. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beauty is indeed a good gift of God; but that the good may not think it a great good, God dispenses it even to the wicked. by Saint Augustine
Anyone who says that they can contemplate quantum mechanics without becoming dizzy has not understood the concept in the least. by Niels Bohr
Success, the real success, does not depend upon the position you hold but upon how you carry yourself in that position. by Theodore Roosevelt
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. by GK Chesterton
To grasp the full significance of life is the actor's duty, to interpret it is his problem and to express it his dedication. by Marlon Brando
If the universe is so bad...how on earth did human beings ever come to attribute it to the activity of a wise and good Creator? by C.S. Lewis
When you sell a man a book you don't sell him just 12 ounces of paper and ink and glue - you sell him a whole new life. by Christopher Morley
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. by Fran Lebowitz
This country will not be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in. by Theodore Roosevelt
The whole purpose of a husband and wife is that when hard times knock at the door you should be able to embrace each other. by Nelson Mandela
When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. by Jonathan Swift
I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis. by Douglas Adams
All I want out of life, is that when I walk down the street folks will say, 'There goes the greatest hitter that ever lived.' by Ted Williams
There is something going on in time and space, and beyond time and space, which, whether we like it or not, spells duty. by Winston Churchill
It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently. by Warren Buffett
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. by Carl Jung
Nature, even when she is scant and thin outwardly, satisfies us still by the assurance of a certain generosity at the roots. by Henry Thoreau
The Negro needs the white man to free him from his fears. The white man needs the Negro to free him from his guilt. by Martin Luther King Jr.
It's strange that words are so inadequate. Yet, like the asthmatic struggling for breath, so the lover must struggle for words. by T.S. Eliot
My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man. by John F. Kennedy
It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence. by Mahatma Gandhi
Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent? by Dave Barry
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all. by Emily Dickinson
Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable. by C.S. Lewis
Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you. by C.S. Lewis
You would not call a man humane for ceasing to set mousetraps if he did so because he believed there were no mice in the house. by C.S. Lewis
Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear. by Dale Carnegie
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. by George Carlin
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. by Oscar Wilde
I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who. by Rudyard Kipling
But what is the difference between literature and journalism? Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all. by Oscar Wilde
An election is coming. Universal peace is declared and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. by T.S. Eliot
War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can't smile, grin. If you can't grin, keep out of the way 'til you can. by Winston Churchill
There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read. by GK Chesterton
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. by Dave Barry
People like to imagine that because all our mechanical equipment moves so much faster, that we are thinking faster, too. by Christopher Morley
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. by Groucho Marx
No easy problem ever comes to the President of the United States. If they are easy to solve, somebody else has solved them. by John F. Kennedy
The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm The Beatles. by Bill Maher
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. by P.J. O'Rourke
No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth. by Robert Southey
Trust the man who hesitates in his speech and is quick and steady in action, but beware of long arguments and long beards. by George Santayana
In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea. by Douglas Adams
Some people seem as if they can never have been children, and others seem as if they could never be anything else. by George Dennison Prentice
The only way to maintain a moderate sum of happiness in this life, is not to worry about the future or regret the past too much. by Mel Gibson
Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. by George Bernard Shaw
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. by Henry Mencken
To believe is very dull. To doubt is intensely engrossing. To be on the alert is to live, to be lulled into security is to die. by Oscar Wilde
The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. by Victor Hugo
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. by Bill Gates
Don't join the book burners. Do not think you are going to conceal thoughts by concealing evidence that they ever existed. by Dwight Eisenhower
What we need are critical lovers of America - patriots who express their faith in their country by working to improve it. by Hubert H. Humphrey
What I just said is the fundamental, end-all, final, not-subject-to-opinion absolute truth, depending on where you're standing. by Steve Martin
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. by Dwight Eisenhower
The salvation of a single soul is more important than the production or preservation of all the epics and tragedies in the world. by C.S. Lewis
Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants. by Dorothy Parker
It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong. by GK Chesterton
Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. by Ronald Reagan
We know life is futile. A man who considers that his life is of very wonderful importance is awfully close to a padded cell. by Clarence Darrow
Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's out of town. by Steve Martin
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. by Dave Barry
The Vice Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does. by Bill Vaughan
People are generally amazed that I would take an interest in any form that would require me to stop talking for three hours. by Henry Kissinger
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. by C.S. Lewis
I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. by C.S. Lewis
When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. by Edmund Burke
This is fascinating! I love this picture! So I know it's going to be a bomb. It's always a disaster when you love something. by John Cassavettes
Man has almost constant occasion for the help of his brethren, and it is in vain for him to expect it from their benevolence only. by Adam Smith
Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work a company work, a society work, a civilization work. by Vince Lombardi
We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. by Mother Teresa
All growth depends upon activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work. by Calvin Coolidge
The proper rewards are not simply tacked on to the activity for which they are given, but are the activity itself in consummation. by C.S. Lewis
To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent. by Siddhartha Buddha
Traffic is like a bad dog. It isn't important to look both ways when crossing the street. It's more important to not show fear. by P.J. O'Rourke
Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning... by C.S. Lewis
Hell is an outrage on humanity. When you tell me that your deity made you in his image, I reply that he must have been very ugly. by Victor Hugo
To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy. by David Brooks
Freedom is not something that anybody can be given; freedom is something people take and people are as free as they want to be. by James Baldwin
God gave us two ends. One to sit on and one to think with. Success depends on which one you use; head you win, tail, you lose. by Author Unknown
We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship. by C.S. Lewis
Men do not differ much about what things they will call evils; they differ enormously about what evils they will call excusable. by GK Chesterton
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear. by Bertrand Russell
The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money. by Alexis de Tocqueville
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. by Margaret Mead
There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press. by Mark Twain
Prosperity is the measure or touchstone of virtue, for it is less difficult to bear misfortune than to remain uncorrupted by pleasure. by Tacitus
It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellow men. by George MacDonald
To be an atheist requires an infinitely greater measure of faith than to receive all the great truths which atheism would deny. by Joseph Addison
You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave. by Sydney Smith
If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing. by Margaret Thatcher
A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. by Oscar Wilde
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniencies attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. by Thomas Jefferson
Stupid people surround themselves with smart people. Smart people surround themselves with smart people who disagree with them. by Author Unknown
Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. by Charles Caleb Colton
I don't know how old I am because the goat ate the Bible that had my birth certificate in it. The goat lived to be twenty-seven. by Satchel Paige
It will be found an unjust and unwise jealousy to deprive a man of his natural liberty upon the supposition he may abuse it. by George Washington
I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it. by Terry Pratchett
It is my living sentiment, and by the blessing of God it shall be my dying sentiment, independence now and independence forever. by Daniel Webster
If we did not bring to the examinations of our instincts a knowledge of their comparative dignity we could never learn it from them. by C.S. Lewis
Beware the writer who always encloses the word reality in quotation marks: He's trying to slip something over on you. Or into you. by Edward Abbey
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. by Dave Barry
I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act. by Siddhartha Buddha
Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity. by Socrates
Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other. by Carl Jung
Bodily exercise, when compulsory, does no harm to the body; but knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind. by Plato
Mortal lovers must not try to remain at the first step; for lasting passion is the dream of a harlot and from it we wake in despair. by C.S. Lewis
Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative. by Kurt Vonnegut
No nation keeps its word. A nation is a big, blind worm, following what? Fate perhaps. A nation has no honor, it has no word to keep. by Carl Jung
Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break, but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it. by Marcus Aurelius
Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking everything praiseworthy in human life. by Joseph Addison
.I had to face the horrible truth: The antitobacco people are lying. Smoking really is cool. And I'm less cool for not doing it. by Tucker Carlson
Human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to behave in a certain way, and can't really get rid of it. by C.S. Lewis
The liberties of a people never were, nor ever will be, secure, when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed from them. by Patrick Henry
The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one. by Russell Lynes
Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace and those who could make a good peace would never have won the war. by Winston Churchill
Abolition of a woman's right to abortion, when and if she wants it, amounts to compulsory maternity:  a form of rape by the State. by Edward Abbey
We always overestimate the change that will occur in the next two years and underestimate the change that will occur in the next ten. by Bill Gates
I am not interested in power for power's sake, but I'm interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good. by Martin Luther King Jr.
How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? by Albert Einstein
You are apprehensive of monarchy; I, of aristocracy. I would therefore have given more power to the President and less to the Senate. by John Adams
The best things and best people rise out of their separateness; I'm against a homogenized society because I want the cream to rise. by Robert Frost
To know the pains of power, we must go to those who have it; to know its pleasures, we must go to those who are seeking it. by Charles Caleb Colton
When you have the facts on your side, argue the facts. When you have the law on your side, argue the law. When you have neither, holler. by Al Gore
The whole art of war consists in a well-reasoned and extremely circumspect defensive, followed by rapid and audacious attack. by Napoleon Bonaparte
Such men as he be never at heart's ease whiles they behold a greater than themselves, and therefore are they very dangerous. by William Shakespeare
I know of no more disagreeable situation than to be left feeling generally angry without anybody in particular to be angry at. by Frank Moore Colby
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions. by Scott Adams
A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he'd claim it was 'just a sprain'. by Dave Barry
No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. by Homer Simpson
Every difference of opinion is not a difference of principle. We have called by different names brethren of the same principle. by Thomas Jefferson
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can. by Vince Lombardi
If you're in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy's glove touch your lips, because you don't know where that glove has been. by Jack Handey
Today, you always know whether you are on the Internet or on your PC's hard drive. Tomorrow, you will not care and may not even know. by Bill Gates
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. by Albert Einstein
Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong. by Thomas Jefferson
The presidency is now a cross between a popularity contest and a high school debate, with an encyclopedia of cliches the first prize. by Saul Bellow
Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company. by George Washington
A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relation. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing, too. by P.J. O'Rourke
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment. by Dorothy Parker
Politics are almost as exciting as war and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics, many times. by Winston Churchill
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic. by Bill Cosby
All enterprises that are entered into with indiscreet zeal may be pursued with great vigor at first, but are sure to collapse in the end. by Tacitus
If you're given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal. by Katherine Hepburn
Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live. by Adolf Hitler
Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves. by Blaise Pascal
I must admit that I personally measure success in terms of the contributions an individual makes to her or his fellow human beings. by Margaret Mead
America will never be destroyed from the outside.  If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. by Abraham Lincoln
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. by William Shakespeare
Lies are essential to humanity. They are perhaps as important as the pursuit of pleasure and moreover are dictated by that pursuit. by Marcel Proust
Nations crumble from within when the citizenry asks of government those things which the citizenry might better provide for itself. by Ronald Reagan
I'll always perform, because show business is in my blood. Or maybe it's in my feet. Wherever it is, I don't think I'll ever stop. by Robin Williams
Errors are inevitable. The mark of character is not refusing to recognize them, but acknowledging them and taking responsibility. by Andrew Sullivan
Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important. by C.S. Lewis
So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after. by Ernest Hemingway
I welcome this kind of examination because people have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well I'm not a crook. by Richard Nixon
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. by Carl Jung
As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no man objected and no man rebelled, those wrongs would last forever. by Clarence Darrow
The world is governed more by appearances than realities, so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it. by Daniel Webster
Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Every step we take towards making the State our Caretaker of our lives, by that much we move toward making the State our Master. by Dwight Eisenhower
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. by Ronald Reagan
Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning. by Bill Gates
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. by Siddhartha Buddha
Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. by William Jennings Bryan
If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact. by Jack Handey
In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. by Siddhartha Buddha
Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians. by Pat Robertson
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. by Dave Barry
The first two facts which a healthy boy or girl feels about sex are these: first that it is beautiful and then that it is dangerous. by GK Chesterton
You teach me baseball and I'll teach you relativity...no we must not. You will learn about relativity faster than I learn baseball. by Albert Einstein
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. by Amy Bloom
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-five now, and we don't know where the hell she is. by Ellen DeGeneres
The humblest citizen of all the land; when clad in the armour of a righteous cause; is stronger than all the hosts of Error. by William Jennings Bryan
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. by Harvey Fierstein
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. by Edgar Watson Howe
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter. by Dave Barry
I can't think of a better way to spread the message of world peace than by working with the NFL and being part of Super Bowl XXVII. by Michael Jackson
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. by George Carlin
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. by Abraham Lincoln
Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. by Eleanor Roosevelt
Today we can declare: Government is not the problem, and government is not the solution. We, the American people, we are the solution. by Bill Clinton
Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. by Daniel Webster
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure. by Henry Kissinger
Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages. by Mark Twain
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. by Robert Frost
Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good. by Thomas Sowell
When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web....now even my cat has its own page. by Bill Clinton
Government consists in nothing else but so controlling subjects that they shall neither be able to, nor have cause to do it harm. by Nicolo Machiavelli
Democratic nations must try to find ways to starve the terrorist and the hijacker of the oxygen of publicity on which they depend. by Margaret Thatcher
There are no seeing eye cats, of course, because the sole function of cats, in the Great Chain of Life, is to cause harm to human beings. by Dave Barry
If you get an impulse in a scene, no matter how wrong it seems, follow the impulse. It might be something and if it ain't - take two! by Jack Nicholson
There are three types of baseball players: those who make things happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens. by Tommy Lasorda
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny...' by Isaac Asimov
If you cannot inspire a woman with love of you, fill her above the brim with love of herself; all that runs over will be yours. by Charles Caleb Colton
The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it. by George Bernard Shaw
I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence. by J.R.R. Tolkien
It is part of the American character to consider nothing as desperate - to surmount every difficulty by resolution and contrivance. by Thomas Jefferson
We are faced with the paradoxical fact that education has become one of the chief obstacles to intelligence and freedom of thought. by Bertrand Russell
If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. by Dale Carnegie
A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. by Winston Churchill
Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. by George Orwell
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. by Dave Barry
Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny. by Steve Martin
Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest. by Mahatma Gandhi
Oh, man, what a day. It's no cakewalk being a single parent, juggling a career and family like so many juggling balls... two, I suppose. by Chief Wiggum
To teach how to live with uncertainty, yet without being paralyzed by hesitation, is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy can do. by Bertrand Russell
Information is the oxygen of the modern age. It seeps through the walls topped by barbed wire, it wafts across the electrified borders. by Ronald Reagan
As long as war is regarded as wicked it will always have its fascinations. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular. by Oscar Wilde
Humility must always be the portion of any man who receives acclaim earned in blood of his followers and sacrifices of his friends. by Dwight Eisenhower
Once you have flown, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been, and there you long to return. by Leonardo da Vinci
After all, it is style alone by which posterity will judge of a great work, for an author can have nothing truly his own but his style. by Isaac Disraeli
The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to. by Thomas Jefferson
Now is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It won't last forever. We must take it or leave it. by C.S. Lewis
There are only two forces in the world, the sword and the spirit. In the long run the sword will always be conquered by the spirit. by Napoleon Bonaparte
I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't. by Bill Cosby
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. by Winston Churchill
Few women, I fear, have had such reason as I have to think the long sad years of youth were worth living for the sake of middle age. by Dwight Eisenhower
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex. by Jack Handey
Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling. by Jack Handey
I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. by Benjamin Franklin
Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed. by William Jennings Bryan
Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author? by Philip Hamerton
On my way here I passed a local cinema and it turned out you were expecting me after all, for the billboards read: The Mummy Returns. by Margaret Thatcher
Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. by Oscar Wilde
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. by Albert Einstein
I've worked for four presidents and watched two others up close, and I know that there's no such thing as a routine day in the Oval Office. by Dick Cheney
I don't work according to nature, but infront and together with it. An artist must observe the nature, but never confuse it with the art. by Pablo Picasso
There are no such things as limits to growth, because there are no limits on the human capacity for intelligence, imagination and wonder. by Ronald Reagan
Whenever you find a man who says he doesn't believe in a real Right and Wrong, you will find the same man going back on this a moment later. by C.S. Lewis
The wise man always throws himself on the side of his assailants. It is more his interest than it is theirs to find his weak point. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year. And yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority. by W.J. Cameron
People can misinterpret almost anything so that it coincides with views they already hold. They take from art what they already believe. by Stanley Kubrick
There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong. by GK Chesterton
The mistakes made by doctors are innumerable. They err habitually on the side of optimism as to treatment, of pessimism as to the outcome. by Marcel Proust
Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. by John Donne
It must be felt that there is no national security but in the nation's humble acknowledged dependence upon God and His overruling providence. by John Adams
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" by Dave Barry
There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters. by Daniel Webster
Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. by Dale Carnegie
Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. by Robert Frost
I was brought up in the great tradition of the late nineteenth century: that a writer never complains, never explains and never disdains. by James Michener
There will be two kinds of people in the end: Those that will say to God 'Thy will be done' and those to whom God will say 'Thy will be done.' by C.S. Lewis
The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments. by George Washington
Sometimes people call me an idealist.  Well, that is the way I know I am an American.  America is the only idealistic nation in the world. by Woodrow Wilson
The genius of democracies is seen not only in the great number of new words introduced but even more in the new ideas they express. by Alexis de Tocqueville
A man's very highest moment is, I have no doubt at all, when he kneels in the dust, and beats his breast, and tells all the sins of his life. by Oscar Wilde
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education he may steal the whole railroad. by Theodore Roosevelt
Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans. by John F. Kennedy
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome. by T.S. Eliot
The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. by Dave Barry
I'm number 10 at the box office. Right under Barbra Streisand. Can you imagine being under Barbra Streisand? Get me a bag. I may throw up. by Walter Matthau
There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people more easily and frequently fall than that of defrauding the government. by Benjamin Franklin
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. by Jack Handey
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. by C.S. Lewis
If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking... is freedom. by Dwight Eisenhower
Wise men are instructed by reason; men of less understanding, by experience; the most ignorant, by necessity; the beasts, by nature. by Marcus Tullius Cicero
To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. by Erich Fromm
War with evil; but show no spirit of malignity toward the man who may be responsible for the evil. Put it out of his power to do wrong. by Theodore Roosevelt
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. by Dale Carnegie
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. by Calvin Coolidge
Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books. by Jack Handey
Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you. by Bill Cosby
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. by C.S. Lewis
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. by Dave Barry
Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel or envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery. by Winston Churchill
Our flag is red, white and blue, but our nation is a rainbow -- red, yellow, brown, black and white -- and we're all precious in God's sight. by Jesse Jackson
You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you. by Kevin Smith
When a politician is in opposition he is an expert on the means to some end; and when he is in office he is an expert on the obstacles to it. by GK Chesterton
The will of the people is the only legitimate foundation of any government, and to protect its free expression should be our first object. by Thomas Jefferson
The Constitution shall never be construed...to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms. by Samuel Adams
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. by Galileo Galilei
Consider any individual at any period of his life, and you will always find him preoccupied with fresh plans to increase his comfort. by Alexis de Tocqueville
It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true. by Oscar Wilde
Too many poets delude themselves by thinking that the mind is dangerous and must be left out. Well, the mind is dangerous and must be left in. by Robert Frost
To have the reputation of possessing the most perfect social tact, talk to every woman as if you loved her, and to every man as if he bored you. by Oscar Wilde
How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of goodwill! In such a place even I would be an ardent patriot. by Albert Einstein
It is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science. by Charles Darwin
Our destruction, should it come at all, will be from another quarter. From the inattention of the people to the concerns of their government. by Daniel Webster
I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. by Eleanor Roosevelt
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? by George Carlin
I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation. by C.S. Lewis
Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes. by Dave Barry
The permanent temptation of life is to confuse dreams with reality. The permanent defeat of life comes when dreams are surrendered to reality. by James Michener
I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things. by Dorothy Parker
How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak. by Jack Handey
So convienent a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do. by Benjamin Franklin
Doing what little one can to increase the general stock of knowledge is as respectable an object of life, as one can in any likelihood pursue. by Charles Darwin
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. by George Carlin
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts. by Aristotle
'Tis a common observation here that our cause is the cause of all mankind, and that we are fighting for their liberty in defending our own. by Benjamin Franklin
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us. by Kurt Vonnegut
I like television. I still believe that television is the most powerful form of communication on Earth -- I just hate what is being done with it. by Alton Brown
When good men die their goodness does not perish, but lives though they are gone. As for the bad, all that was theirs dies and is buried with them. by Euripides
A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be. Moderation in temper is always a virtue, but moderation in principle is always a vice. by Thomas Paine
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. by Kurt Vonnegut
We succeed in enterprises which demand the positive qualities we possess, but we excel in those which can also make use of our defects. by Alexis de Tocqueville
A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you're looking down, you can't see something that's above you. by C.S. Lewis
Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand. by Colin Powell
God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things. by Pablo Picasso
Few people think more than two or three times a year. I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week. by George Bernard Shaw
Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. by Leonardo da Vinci
If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should -- you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland. by Dave Barry
I have accepted fear as a part of life - specifically the fear of change. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back. by Erica Jong
Many books require no thought from those who read them, and for a very simple reason; they made no such demand upon those who wrote them. by Charles Caleb Colton
Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. by Woodrow Wilson
No foreign policy - no matter how ingenious - has any chance of success if it is born in the minds of a few and carried in the hearts of none. by Henry Kissinger
He who is of calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition youth and age are equally a burden. by Plato
It is better to be bold than too circumspect, because fortune is of a sex which likes not a tardy wooer and repulses all who are not ardent. by Nicolo Machiavelli
Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see. by C.S. Lewis
Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
In this business, by the time you realize you're in trouble, it's too late to save yourself. Unless you're running scared all the time, you're gone. by Bill Gates
The line between failure and success is so fine that we scarcely know when we pass it; so fine that we are often on the line and do not know it. by Elbert Hubbard
To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say and to finish without knowing what you have written. by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
When a whole nation is roaring patriotism at the top of its voice, I am fain to explore the cleanness of its hands and purity of its heart. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there. by Indira Gandhi
An artist is someone who produces things that people don't need to have but that he-- for some reason-- thinks it would be a good idea to give them. by Andy Warhol
The women of this Nation still retain the liberty to control their destinies. But the signs are evident and very ominous, and a chill wind blows. by Harry Blackmun
The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma. by Abraham Lincoln
Wedding: a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable. by Ambrose Bierce
What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday and our present thoughts build our life tomorrow. Our life is the creation of our mind. by Siddhartha Buddha
Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song. by Konrad von Gesner
Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages. by Thomas Edison
Music takes us out of the actual and whispers to us dim secrets that startle our wonder as to who we are, and for what, whence, and whereto. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president. by Kurt Vonnegut
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better, while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more. by Woody Allen
There is quite enough sorrow and shame amd suffering and baseness in real life, and there is no need for meeting it unnecessarily in fiction. by Theodore Roosevelt
The sick do not ask if the hand that smoothes their pillow is pure, nor the dying care if the lips that touch their brow have known the kiss of sin. by Oscar Wilde
I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man. by George Washington
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. by Jean Baudrillard
Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace. by Dwight Eisenhower
You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can crash, drip, flow...be water my friend. by Bruce Lee
Virtues are acquired through endeavor, Which rests wholly upon yourself. So, to praise others for their virtues can but encourage one's own efforts. by Thomas Paine
Expect people to be better than they are; it helps them to become better. But don't be disappointed when they are not; it helps them to keep trying. by Merry Browne
Music, in the best sense, does not require novelty; no, the older it is, and the more we are accustomed to it, the greater its effect. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him and hand it to him. by Jack Handey
My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. by Oprah Winfrey
It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. by Mahatma Gandhi
Heaven have mercy on us all--Presbyterians and Pagans alike--for we are all dreadfully cracked about the head and desperately in need of mending. by Herman Melville
It is by the goodness of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either. by Mark Twain
If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? by William Shakespeare
The federal government has taken too much tax money from the people, too much authority from the states, and too much liberty with the Constitution. by Ronald Reagan
A very popular error: having the courage of one's convictions; rather it is a matter of having the courage for an attack on one's convictions. by Friedrich Nietzsche
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, make them. by George Bernard Shaw
Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. by Nathaniel Hawthorne
We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes. by Gene Roddenberry
If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide. by Abraham Lincoln
Unless the religious claims of the Bible are again acknowledged, its literary claims will, I think, be given only 'mouth honour' and that decreasingly. by C.S. Lewis
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. by Mark Twain
The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back. by Abigail Van Buren
Men often oppose a thing merely because they have had no agency in planning it, or because it may have been planned by those whom they dislike. by Alexander Hamilton
The government at Washington does live. It lives in the pages of our Constitution and in the hearts of our citizens, and there it will always be safe. by Spiro Agnew
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. by Dave Barry
Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration - courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, above all, love of the truth. by Henry Mencken
A man will be imprisoned in a room with a door that's unlocked and opens inwards; as long as it does not occur to him to pull rather than push. by Ludwig Wittgenstein
The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape. by Pablo Picasso
Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. by Winston Churchill
If you're successful, acting is about as soft a job as anybody could ever wish for. But if you're unsuccessful it's worse than having a skin disease. by Marlon Brando
My mental hands were empty, and I felt I must do something as a counterirritant or antibody to my hysterical alarm at getting married at the age of 43. by Ian Fleming
A life without adventure is likely to be unsatisfying, but a life in which adventure is allowed to take whatever form it will is sure to be short. by Bertrand Russell
Men talk of "finding God," but no wonder it is difficult; He is hidden in that darkest hiding-place, your heart. You yourself are a part of Him. by Christopher Morley
The destiny of man is not measured by material computation. When great forces are on the move in the world, we learn we are spirits--not animals. by Winston Churchill
I have come to the conclusion that my subjective account of my motivation is largely mythical on almost all occasions. I don't know why I do things. by J.B.S. Haldane
The fight is won or lost far away from the witnesses, behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road; long before I dance under those lights. by Muhammad Ali
Being religious means asking passionately the question of the meaning of our existence and being willing to receive answers, even if the answers hurt. by Paul Tillich
I could not say I believe -- I know! I have had the experience of being gripped by something that is stronger than myself, something that people call God. by Carl Jung
Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. by Benjamin Franklin
One ought, each day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if possible, speak a few reasonable words. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur. by Vince Lombardi
If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be content to take their own and depart. by Socrates
The books we read should be chosen with great care, that they may be, as an Egyptian king wrote over his library, "The medicines of the soul." by Oliver Wendell Holmes
When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home. by Winston Churchill
The jaws of power are always open to devour, and her arm is always stretched out, if possible, to destroy the freedom of thinking, speaking, and writing. by John Adams
The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them. by George Orwell
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. by Mark Twain
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
It was when I was happiest that I longed most...The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing...to find the place where all the beauty came from. by C.S. Lewis
There can be no doubt that racial paternalism and its unintended consequences can be as poisonous and pernicious as any other form of discrimination. by Clarence Thomas
Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it. by Michael Jordan
In the Orthodox spiritual tradition, the ultimate moral question we ask is the following: Is what we are doing, is what I am doing, beautiful or not? by Carolyn Gifford
I know that the Lord is always on the side of the right. But it is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should be on the Lords side. by Abraham Lincoln
Nonviolence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man. by Mahatma Gandhi
Why has government been instituted at all? Because the passions of men will not conform to the dictates of reason and justice, without constraint. by Alexander Hamilton
'My country, right or wrong' is a thing no patriot would ever think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying 'My mother, drunk or sober.' by GK Chesterton
I have a hobby...I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it... by Steven Wright
In the struggle for survival, the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals because they succeed in adapting themselves best to their environment. by Charles Darwin
The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms. by Albert Einstein
There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started out with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet which fails so regularly, as love. by Erich Fromm
The odds of not meeting in this life are so great that every meeting is like a miracle. It's a wonder that we don't make love to every single person we meet. by Yoko Ono
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window. by Jack Handey
A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand. by Bertrand Russell
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. by Dale Carnegie
You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you cannot do. by Eleanor Roosevelt
A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special. by Fran Lebowitz
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws! by Homer Simpson
Death is psychologically as important as birth. Shrinking away from it is something unhealthy and abnormal which robs the second half of life of its purpose. by Carl Jung
The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught. by Henry Mencken
I keep the subject of my inquiry constantly before me, and wait till the first dawning opens gradually, by little and little, into a full and clear light. by Isaac Newton
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods. by Bill Cosby
Beauty is ever to the lonely mind a shadow fleeting; she is never plain. She is a visitor who leaves behind the gift of grief, the souvenir of pain. by Christopher Morley
We know that equality of individual ability has never existed and never will, but we do insist that equality of opportunity still must be sought. by Franklin D. Roosevelt
The partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers of his own assertions. by Plato
'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death. by Thomas Paine
Our contest is not only whether we ourselves shall be free, but whether there shall be left to mankind an asylum on earth for civil and religious liberty. by Samuel Adams
If one could conclude as to the nature of the Creator from a study of his creation it would appear that God has a special fondness for stars and beetles. by J.B.S. Haldane
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. by Albert Einstein
Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. by Martin Luther King Jr.
If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude. by Colin Powell
If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves. by Carl Jung
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. by Will Rogers
Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning. by Albert Einstein
I believe in person to person. Every person is Christ for me, and since there is only one Jesus, that person is the one person in the world at that moment. by Mother Teresa
The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable.  What he wants above everything else is safety. by Henry Mencken
I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeat. Of peace on earth, good-will to men! by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
A great many of those who 'debunk' traditional...values have in the background values of their own which they believe to be immune from the debunking process. by C.S. Lewis
If you can't get them to salute when they should salute and wear the clothes you tell them to wear, how are you going to get them to die for their country? by George Patton
Most modern freedom is at root fear. It is not so much that we are too bold to endure rules; it is rather that we are too timid to endure responsibilities. by GK Chesterton
Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction. by Albert Einstein
The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly. 'Tis dearness only that gives everything its value. by Thomas Paine
If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you. by Fyodor Dostoevsky
I don't think there's anything unique about human intellience. All the nuerons in the brain that make up perceptions and emotions operate in a binary fashion. by Bill Gates
A man does what he must, in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures, and that is the basis of all human morality. by John F. Kennedy
To forbid the making of pictures about God would be to forbid thinking about God at all, for man is so made that he has no way to think except in pictures. by Dorothy Sayers
Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius. by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
We who engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of tension. We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Those who would most scornfully repudiate Christianity as a mere 'opiate of the people' have a contempt for the rich, that is, for all mankind except the poor. by C.S. Lewis
I believe that the next half century will determine if we will advance the cause of Christian civilization or revert to the horrors of brutal paganism. by Theodore Roosevelt
Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art. by Tom Stoppard
If a nation could not prosper without the enjoyment of perfect liberty and perfect justice, there is not in the world a nation which could ever have prospered. by Adam Smith
A friend is someone, who upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer. by Amanda Grier
Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free-wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself. by C.S. Lewis
Acting is the expression of a neurotic impulse -- it's a bum's life. The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. by Marlon Brando
We shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty. by John F. Kennedy
How do you tell a Communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. by Ronald Reagan
I do not know anyone who has got to the top without hard work. That is the recipe. It will not always get you to the top, but should get you pretty near. by Margaret Thatcher
All science, even the divine science, is a sublime detective story. Only it is not set to detect why a man is dead; but the darker secret of why he is alive. by GK Chesterton
People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them that I have the heart of a small boy...and I keep it in a jar on my desk. by Stephen King
To photograph truthfully and effectively is to see beneath the surfaces and record the qualities of nature and humanity which live or are latent in all things. by Ansel Adams
We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Women are the only realists; their whole object in life is to pit their realism against the extravagant, excessive, and occasionally drunken idealism of men. by GK Chesterton
I cannot conceive otherwise than that He, the Infinite Father, expects or requires no worship or praise from us, but that He is even infinitely above it. by Benjamin Franklin
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money. by Mark Twain
We'll never know where John Kerry stands on an issue because he'll take both sides , all three sides, four sides, however many sides there are , of an issue. by Rush Limbaugh
Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president. by Eleanor Roosevelt
It is strangely absurd to suppose that a million of human beings, collected together, are not under the same moral laws which bind each of them separately. by Thomas Jefferson
There are three things which are real: God, human folly, and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension. So we must do what we can with the third. by John F. Kennedy
If you can speak three languages you're trilingual.  If you can speak two languages you're bilingual.  If you can speak only one language you're an American. by Author Unknown
The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it. And one path we shall never choose, and that is the path of surrender, or submission. by John F. Kennedy
A true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother drudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art. by George Bernard Shaw
Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear. by Thomas Jefferson
A President either is constantly on top of events or, if he hesitates, events will soon be on top of him. I never felt that I could let up for a single moment. by Harry Truman
Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions? by Jack Handey
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. by Calvin Coolidge
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. by C.S. Lewis
The real argument against aristocracy is that it always means the rule of the ignorant. For the most dangerous of all forms of ignorance is ignorance of work. by GK Chesterton
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special. by Stephen Hawking
What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable. by Joseph Addison
Were it possible for us to wait for ourselves to come into the room, not many of us would find our hearts breaking into flower as we heard the door handle turn. by Rebecca West
If my children wake up on Christmas morning and have someone to thank for putting candy in their stocking, have I no one to thank for putting two feet in mine? by GK Chesterton
I had a dream the other night. I dreamed that Jimmy Carter came to me and asked why I wanted his job. I told him I didn't want his job. I want to be President. by Ronald Reagan
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. by Thomas Jefferson
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office. by Ambrose Bierce
Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work. by Mother Teresa
Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune. by Carl Jung
The more man puts into God, the less he retains in himself. The worker puts his life into the object; but now his life no longer belongs to him, but to the object. by Karl Marx
If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues' initials on 'em, and pass them along. When in doubt, route. by Malcolm Forbes
I hope that when you are my age, you will be able to say as I have been able to say: We lived in freedom. We lived lives that were a statement, not an apology. by Ronald Reagan
Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae. by Kurt Vonnegut
You do what you are...You're born with a gift. If not that, then you get good at something along the way. And what you're good at. you don't take for granted. by Morgan Freeman
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true! by Dave Barry
Time has been transformed, and we have changed; it has advanced and set us in motion; it has unveiled its face, inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration. by Kahlil Gibran
An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't. by Malcolm Forbes
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right. by Henry Mencken
The time which we have at our disposal every day is elastic; the passions we feel expand it, those that we inspire contract it, and habit fills up what remains. by Marcel Proust
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. by Paul Dirac
Show me your hands. Do they have scars from giving? Show me your feet. Are they wounded in service? Show me your heart. Have you left a place for divine love? by Fulton J. Sheen
I discovered that rejections are not altogether a bad thing. They teach a writer to rely on his own judgment and to say in his heart of hearts, 'To hell with you.' by Saul Bellow
My political ambitions have nothing to do with vanity or the desire for power. I want to help people. I owe them something after all they've done for me. by Arnold Schwarzenegger
Have you ever heard people say 'don't sweat the details'? Well, they're wrong: sweat the details. They have a name for people who sweat the details: millionaires. by Jerry Bowyer
I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up. by Dave Barry
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. by Franklin D. Roosevelt
The government of the United States is a device for maintaining in perpetuity the rights of the people, with the ultimate extinction of all privileged classes. by Calvin Coolidge
Paley's argument is made with passionate sincerity and is informed by the best biological scholarship of his day, but it is wrong, gloriously and utterly wrong. by Richard Dawkins
In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. by Dwight Eisenhower
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching. by Jack Handey
One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. by Confucius
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. by Mark Twain
I have from an early age abjured the use of meat, and the time will come when men will look upon the murder of animals as they now look upon the murder of men. by Leonardo da Vinci
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. by John Wooden
Have we the courage and the will to face up to the immorality and discrimination of the progressive tax, and demand a return to traditional proportionate taxation? by Ronald Reagan
Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.) by Dave Barry
A man may imagine things that are false, but he can only understand things that are true, for if the things be false, the apprehension of them is not understanding. by Isaac Newton
I think luck is the sense to recognize an opportunity and the ability to take advantage of it... The man who can smile at his breaks and grab his chances gets on. by Samuel Goldwyn
What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? by Erna Bombeck
Nearly every man who develops an idea works it up to the point where it looks impossible, and then he gets discouraged. That's not the place to become discouraged. by Thomas Edison
The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it. by Bertrand Russell
We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. by Martin Luther King Jr.
It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated...it is finished when it surrenders. by Ben Stein
The main business of religions is to purify, control, and restrain that excessive and exclusive taste for well-being which men acquire in times of equality. by Alexis de Tocqueville
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands. by Douglas Adams
No man, who continues to add something to the material, intellectual and moral well-being of the place in which he lives, is left long without proper reward. by Booker T. Washington
Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the president's spouse. I wish him well! by Barbara Bush
We do not need more intellectual power, we need more spiritual power. We do not need more of the things that are seen, we need more of the things that are unseen. by Calvin Coolidge
The mind of the thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing. It is like a bric-ŕ-brac shop, all monsters and dust, with everything priced above its proper value. by Oscar Wilde
Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner. by Amy Bloom
Clever people seem not to feel the natural pleasure of bewilderment, and are always answering questions when the chief relish of a life is to go on asking them. by Frank Moore Colby
In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die, and the choices that we make are ultimately our responsibility. by Eleanor Roosevelt
When a man is getting worse, he understands his own badness less and less. A moderately bad man knows he is not very good: a thoroughly bad man thinks he is all right. by C.S. Lewis
The surface of American society is covered with a layer of democratic paint, but from time to time one can see the old aristocratic colours breaking through. by Alexis de Tocqueville
The heights by great men reached and kept, were not obtained by sudden flight. But they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night. by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it.  Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. by Richard Lamm
He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from opposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself. by Thomas Paine
The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion, because if a mother can kill her own child what is left for me to kill you and you to kill me? There is nothing between. by Mother Teresa
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?! by Jack Handey
I wish I could give you a lot of advice, based on my experience of winning political debates. But I don't have that experience. My only experience is at losing them. by Richard Nixon
If I had permitted my failures, or what seemed to me at the time a lack of success, to discourage me I cannot see any way in which I would ever have made progress. by Calvin Coolidge
Nobody has ever before asked the nuclear family to live all by itself in a box the way we do. With no relatives, no support, we've put it in an impossible situation. by Margaret Mead
If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby "it." by T.S. Eliot
The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring this endeavor will light our bounty and all who serve it, and the glow from that fire can truly light the world. by John F. Kennedy
Wherever any precept of traditional morality is simply challenged to produce its credentials, as though the burden of proof lay on it, we have taken the wrong position. by C.S. Lewis
Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten. by Siddhartha Buddha
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them. by Sydney Smith
If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost. by Aristotle
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are you ready?' by Johnny Carson
We must repsect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children are smart. by Henry Mencken
Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty. by George Washington
The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other... by Dave Barry
Injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured. by Martin Luther King Jr.
We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary. by Booker T. Washington
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. by Steven Weinberg
In the life of a man, his time is but a moment...his sense, a dim rushlight. All that is body is as coursing waters...all that is of the soul, as dreams, and vapors. by Marcus Aurelius
What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad. by Dave Barry
To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet. by Charles Caleb Colton
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. by Jay Leno
Philosophical argument has sometimes shaken my reason for the faith that was in me; but my heart has always assured me that the Gospel of Jesus Christ must be reality. by Daniel Webster
The fool who has not sense to discriminate between what is good and what is bad is well nigh as dangerous as the man who does discriminate and yet chooses the bad. by Theodore Roosevelt
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell. by Siddhartha Buddha
From kindergarten to graduation, I went to public schools, and I know that they are a key to being sure that every child has a chance to succeed and to rise in the world. by Dick Cheney
A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight. by Robertson Davies
My mother used to say to me: "Son, it's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick." I think that still makes a heck of a lot of sense, even in these troubles times. by Dave Barry
The world is in a constant conspiracy against the brave. It's the age-old struggle--the roar of the crowd on one side and the voice of your conscience on the other. by Douglas MacArthur
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. by Homer Simpson
There is -- in world affairs -- a steady course to be followed between an assertion of strength that is truculent and a confession of helplessness that is cowardly. by Dwight Eisenhower
Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance. by Saint Augustine
You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. You are avenged 1440 times a day. by Ambrose Bierce
To write history one must be more than a man, since the author who holds the pen of this great justiciary must be free from all preoccupation of interest or vanity. by Napoleon Bonaparte
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes. by Dave Barry
It is incontestable and deplorable that Negroes have committed crimes; but they are derivative crimes. They are born of the greater crimes of the white society. by Martin Luther King Jr.
How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd. by Alexander Pope
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it.  If it keeps moving, regulate it.  And if it stops moving, subsidize it. by Ronald Reagan
There is no strength in unbelief. Even the unbelief of what is false is no source of might. It is the truth shining from behind that gives the strength to disbelieve. by George MacDonald
Fantasy is a necessary ingrediant in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope and that enables you to laugh at life's realities. by Theodor Seuss Geisel
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate. by Dave Barry
It's passionately interesting for me that the things that I learned in a small town, in a very modest home, are just the things that I believe have won the election. by Margaret Thatcher
It is only about things that do not interest one, that one can give a really unbiased opinion; and this is no doubt the reason why an unbiased opinion is always valueless. by Oscar Wilde
Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
If you look back on the '60s and think there was more good than harm, you're probably a Democrat. If you think there was more harm than good, you're probably a Republican. by Bill Clinton
When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. by Albert Einstein
An engagement should come on a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant, as the case may be. It is hardly a matter that she could be allowed to arrange for herself. by Oscar Wilde
It is in vain to hope to please all alike. Let a man stand with his face in what direction he will, he must necessarily turn his back on one half of the world. by George Dennison Prentice
I believe one of the reasons so many do not get a higher education is the fear of their parents that they will lose more morally than they will receive mentally. by William Jennings Bryan
No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe, as from our own. Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness. by Reinhold Niebuhr
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. by Dave Barry
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. by Dave Barry
Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us. by Abraham Lincoln
Ethical religion can be real only to those who are engaged in ceaseless efforts at moral improvement. By moving upward we acquire faith in an upward movement, without limit. by Felix Adler
It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight. by Jack Handey
This truth should be kept constantly in mind by every free people desiring to preserve the sanity and poise indispensable to the permanent success of self-government. by Theodore Roosevelt
As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy. Whatever differs from this, to the extent of the difference, is no democracy. by Abraham Lincoln
There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun. by Pablo Picasso
Calm, lasting beauty comes only in a dream, and this solace the world had thrown away when in its worship of the real it threw away the secrets of childhood and innocence. by H.P. Lovecraft
When American(s) ask for the cooperation of (their) fellow citizens, it is seldom refused; and I have often seen it afforded spontaneously and with great good will. by Alexis de Tocqueville
I have found it advisable not to give too much heed to what people say when I am trying to accomplish something of consequence. Invariably they proclaim it can't be done. by Calvin Coolidge
If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite. by C.S. Lewis
I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant. by Martin Luther King Jr.
Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science. by Henri Poincare
You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later, when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. by Jonathan Carroll
The Americans combine the notions of Christianity and of liberty so intimately in their minds, that it is impossible to make them conceive the one without the other. by Alexis de Tocqueville
The more sensitive you are, the more likely you are to be brutalized, develop scabs and never evolve. Never allow yourself to feel anything because you always feel too much. by Marlon Brando
Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. by Henry Van Dyke
Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth. by Dave Barry
I sit here all day trying to persuade people to do the things they ought to have the sense to do without my persuading them. That's all the powers of the President amount to. by Harry Truman
Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless. by Chief Wiggum
Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. by George Orwell
Why, you can take the most gallant sailor, the most intrepid airman or the most audacious soldier, put them at a table together - what do you get? The sum of their fears. by Winston Churchill
When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs. by Oscar Wilde
I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens. by Dwight Eisenhower
For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances as though they were realities. and are often more influenced by things that seem than by those that are. by Nicolo Machiavelli
The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide. by Kurt Vonnegut
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is. by Erna Bombeck
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad. by Jack Handey
Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas time. by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit. by Aristotle
Strange that the vanity which accompanies beauty -- excusable, perhaps, when there is such great beauty, or at any rate understandable -- should persist after the beauty was gone. by Aristotle
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side. by Hunter S. Thompson
I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories. by Dave Barry
I have learnt that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed. by Booker T. Washington
How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon? by Theodor Seuss Geisel
The fact of evolution is the backbone of biology, and biology is thus in the peculiar position of being a science founded on an improved theory, is it then a science or faith? by Charles Darwin
The one man who should never attempt an explanation on poetry is its author. If the poem can be improved by its author's explanations, it never should have been published. by Archibald MacLeish
Trust the people. This is the one irrefutable lesson of the entire postwar period contradicting the notion that rigid government controls are essential to economic development. by Ronald Reagan
Strange that the vanity which accompanies beauty -- excusable, perhaps, when there is such great beauty, or at any rate understandable -- should persist after the beauty was gone. by Mary Arnim
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. by George Carlin
If the businessman would stop talking like a computer printout or a page from the corporate annual report, other people would stop thinking he had a cash register for a heart. by Henry Kissinger
The only right way of telling a story is to begin at the beginning--at the beginning of the world. Therefore all books have to be begun in the wrong way for the sake of brevity. by GK Chesterton
Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility. In the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have is the ability to take on responsibility. by Michael Korda
I realise that I'm making gender-based generalizations here, but my feeling is that if God did not want us to make gender-based generalizations, She would not have given us genders. by Dave Barry
If ever time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin. by Samuel Adams
Women have a thirst for order and beauty as for something physical; there is a strange female power of hating ugliness and waste as good men can only hate sin and bad men virtue. by GK Chesterton
If you are obliged to neglect any thing, let it be your chemistry. It is the least useful and the least amusing to a country gentleman of all the ordinary branches of science. by Thomas Jefferson
All men are timid on entering any fight. Whether it is the first or the last fight, all of us are timid. Cowards are those who let their timidity get the better of their manhood. by George Patton
People have to talk about something just to keep their good voice boxes in working order, so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say. by Kurt Vonnegut
Take from the church the miraculous, the supernatural, the incomprehensible, the unreasonable, the impossible, the unknowable, the absurd, and nothing but a vacuum remains. by Robert G. Ingersoll
When you get to be President, there are all those things, the honors, the twenty-one gun salutes, all those things. You have to remember it isn't for you. It's for the Presidency. by Harry Truman
I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others. by Marcus Aurelius
Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful. by Kurt Vonnegut
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. by Martin Luther King Jr.
We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe, nay whole systems of universe[s], to be governed by laws, but the smallest insect, we wish to be created at once by special act. by Charles Darwin
Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively. by Homer Simpson
The ACLU is always yakking about the Constitution, and most of us are getting mighty tired of it. I mean, if the Constitution is so great, how come it was amended so many times? Huh? by Dave Barry
Those who forget good and evil and seek only to know the facts are more likely to achieve good than those who view the world through the distorting medium of their own desires. by Bertrand Russell
Just as your hand, held before the eye, can hide the tallest mountain, so this small earthly life keeps us from seeing the vast radiance that fills the core of the universe. by Nachman of Bratslav
Errors of haste are seldom committed singly. The first time a man always does too much. And precisely on that account he commits a second error, and then he does too little. by Friedrich Nietzsche
The forces that tend for evil are great and terrible, but the forces of truth and love and courage and honesty and generosity and sympathy are also stronger than ever before. by Theodore Roosevelt
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. by Clarence Darrow
No; we have been as usual asking the wrong question. It does not matter a hoot what the mockingbird on the chimney is singing. The real and proper question is: Why is it beautiful? by Annie Dillard
It behooves every man to remember that the work of the critic is of altogether secondary importance, and that, in the end, progress is accomplished by the man who does things. by Theodore Roosevelt
I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. by Rita Mae Brown
Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality. by Martin Luther King Jr.
I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left. by Margaret Thatcher
For the wise men of old the cardinal problem had been how to conform the soul to reality. For magic and applied science alike the problem is how to subdue reality to the wishes of men. by C.S. Lewis
Friendship, like the immortality of the soul, is too good to be believed. When friendships are real, they are not glass threads or frost work, but the solidest things we know. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself. by Henry Mencken
There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. by Albert Camus
Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me, then he kicked me, then he punched me again. by Jack Handey
I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom, and that of all about me, seemed insufficient for the day. by Abraham Lincoln
One thing I have learned about the presidency is that whatever shortcomings you have, people are going to notice them -- and whatever strengths you have, you're going to need them. by George W. Bush
No man will ever bring out of the Presidency the reputation which carries him into it. To myself, personally, it brings nothing but increasing drudgery and daily loss of friends. by Thomas Jefferson
There are events which are so great that if a writer has participated in them his obligation is to write truly rather than assume the presumption of altering them with invention. by Ernest Hemingway
Admit it, sport-utility-vehicle owners! It's shaped a little differently, but it's a station wagon! And you do not drive it across rivers! You drive it across the Wal-Mart parking lot! by Dave Barry
Disobedience, in the eyes of anyone who has read history, is man's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion. by Oscar Wilde
It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous. by Benjamin Franklin
Observe constantly that all things take place by change, and accustom thyself to consider that the nature of the Universe love nothing so much as to change. The Universe is change. by Marcus Aurelius
Let individuals contribute as they desire; but let us prohibit in effective fashion all corporations from making contributions for any political purpose, directly or indirectly. by Theodore Roosevelt
And what's romance? Usually, a nice little tale where you have everything As You Like It, where rain never wets your jacket and gnats never bite your nose and it's always daisy-time. by D.H. Lawrence
I would rather try to persuade a man to go along, because once I have persuaded him he will stick. If I scare him, he will stay just as long as he is scared, and then he is gone. by Dwight Eisenhower
In an atmosphere of liberty, artists and patrons are free to think the unthinkable and create the audacious; they are free to make both horrendous mistakes and glorious celebrations. by Ronald Reagan
If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thru' narrow chinks of his cavern. by William Blake
There is an immense, painful longing for a broader, more flexible, fuller, more coherent, more comprehensive account of what we human beings are, who we are, and what this life is for. by Saul Bellow
The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them. by George Bernard Shaw
The President of the United States hears a hundred voices telling him that he is the greatest man in the world. He must listen carefully to hear the one voice that tells him he's not. by Harry Truman
We ascribe beauty to that which is simple; which has no superfluous parts; which exactly answers its end; which stands related to all things; which is the mean of many extremes. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on the objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents. by James Madison
Karate is a form of marital arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. by Dave Barry
Birth and death are not two different states, but they are different aspects of the same state. There is as little reason to deplore the one as there is to be pleased over the other. by Mahatma Gandhi
Facts are ventriloquists dummies. Sitting on a wise man's knee they may be made to utter words of wisdom; elsewhere, they say nothing, or talk nonsense, or indulge in sheer diabolism. by Aldous Huxley
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. by Dave Barry
Speeches are for the younger men who are going places. And I'm not going anyplace except six feet under the floor of that little chapel adjoining the museum and library at Abilene. by Dwight Eisenhower
I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. by Henry Thoreau
Consumption is the sole end and purpose of all production; and the interest of the producer ought to be attended to, only so far as it may be necessary for promoting that of the consumer. by Adam Smith
We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful. by C.S. Lewis
The natural liberty of man is to be free from any superior power on Earth, and not to be under the will or legislative authority of man, but only to have the law of nature for his rule. by Samuel Adams
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages. by William Shakespeare
Let me tell you I am better acquainted with you for a long absence, as men are with themselves for a long affliction: absence does but hold off a friend, to make one see him the truer. by Alexander Pope
Classical music gradually lost popularity because it is too complicated: you need twenty-five or thirty skilled musicians just to hum it properly. So people began to develop regular music. by Dave Barry
Driven from every other corner of the earth, freedom of thought and the right of private judgment in matters of conscience direct their course to this happy country as their last resort. by Samuel Adams
What a queer thing is Christian salvation! Believing in firemen will not save a burning house; believing in doctors will not make one well, but believing in a savior saves men. Fudge! by Lemuel Washburn
That is the true season of love, when we believe that we alone can love, that no one could ever have loved so before us, and that no one will love in the same way after us. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision. by Lynn Lavner
A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor. by Ring Lardner
The dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you're willing to pay the price. by Vince Lombardi
Even if there is only one possible unified theory, it is just a set of rules and equations. What is it that breathes fire into the equations and makes a universe for them to describe? by Stephen Hawking
I think the crucial thing in the writing career is to find what you want to do and how you fit in. What somebody else does is of no concern whatever except as an interesting variation. by James Michener
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. by Bill Cosby
Religion operates not only on the vertical plane but also on the horizontal. It seeks not only to integrate men with God but to integrate men with men and each man with himself. by Martin Luther King Jr.
A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later. by Stanley Kubrick
There are two distinct classes of what are called thoughts: those that we produce in ourselves by reflection and the act of thinking and those that bolt into the mind of their own accord. by Thomas Paine
Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want. by Clive Barnes
Yet each man kills the thing he loves, from all let this be heard. Some does it with a bitter look, some with a flattering word. The coward does it with a kiss the brave man with the sword. by Oscar Wilde
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. by Robert Wilensky
In America the majority raises formidable barriers around the liberty of opinion; within these barriers an author may write what he pleases, but woe to him if he goes beyond them. by Alexis de Tocqueville
To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?,' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.' by Jack Handey
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. by Dwight Eisenhower
What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is brought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy? by Mahatma Gandhi
I don't intellectually understand you people. I don't understand your hate, I don't understand your rage, I don't understand what it is about the goodness of this country you can't abide. by Rush Limbaugh
Our only hope today lies in our ability to recapture the revolutionary spirit and go into a sometimes hostile world declaring eternal hostility to poverty, racism, and militarism. by Martin Luther King Jr.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. by Buckminster Fuller
If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair. by C.S. Lewis
If we have Senators and Congressmen there that can't protect themselves against the evil temptations of lobbyists, we don't need to change our lobbies, we need to change our representatives. by Will Rogers
Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one? Don't eat pork? Is that the word of God, or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody? by Jon Stewart
Among the natural rights of the colonists are these: First a right to life, secondly to liberty, and thirdly to property; together with the right to defend them in the best manner they can. by Samuel Adams
It is a fine thing to establish one's own religion in one's heart, not to be dependent on tradition and second-hand ideals. Life will seem to you, later, not a lesser, but a greater thing. by D.H. Lawrence
My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all. by John Lennon
Our natural, inalienable rights are now considered to be a dispensation from government, and freedom has never been so fragile, so close to slipping from our grasp as it is at this moment. by Ronald Reagan
It was by the sober sense of our citizens that we were safely and steadily conducted from monarchy to republicanism, and it is by the same agency alone we can be kept from falling back. by Thomas Jefferson
Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep burning, unquenchable. by Henry Ward Beecher
The things that will destroy America are prosperity at any price, peace at any price, safety first instead of duty first, the love of soft living and the get rich quick theory of life. by Theodore Roosevelt
You are young, my son, and, as the years go by, time will change and even reverse many of your present opinions. Refrain therefore awhile from setting yourself up as a judge of the highest matters. by Plato
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. by Mark Twain
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. by Christopher Morley
The paradoxes of today are the prejudices of tomorrow, since the most benighted and the most deplorable prejudices have had their moment of novelty when fashion lent them its fragile grace. by Marcel Proust
For in the final analysis, our most basic common link, is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's futures, and we are all mortal. by John F. Kennedy
Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light. by Joseph Pulitzer
The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic and self-complacent is erroneous; on the contrary it makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant and kind. by W. Somerset Maugham
You find out more about God from the Moral Law than from the univerise in general just as you find out more about a man by listening to his conversation than by looking at a house he has built. by C.S. Lewis
Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours. by Dale Carnegie
We live in deeds, not years: In thoughts not breaths; In feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs. He most lives Who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best. by Aristotle
In the arts of life man invents nothing; but in the arts of death he outdoes Nature herself, and produces by chemistry and machinery all the slaughter of plague, pestilence, and famine. by George Bernard Shaw
The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings! by Henry Ward Beecher
In his younger days a man dreams of possessing the heart of the woman whom he loves; later, the feeling that he possesses the heart of a woman may be enough to make him fall in love with her. by Marcel Proust
I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes -- and the stars through his soul. by Victor Hugo
Let us not forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. When tillage begins, other arts will follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of civilization. by Daniel Webster
To know what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty...this knowledge, this feeling is at the center of true religiousness. by Albert Einstein
We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive. by C.S. Lewis
PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom -- and of whom only -- it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President. by Ambrose Bierce
Ignore death up to the last moment; then, when it can't be ignored any longer, have yourself squirted full of morphia and shuffle off in a coma. Thoroughly sensible, humane and scientific, eh? by Aldous Huxley
The difference between the most dissimilar characters, between a philosopher and a common street porter, for example, seems to arise not so much from nature, as from habit, custom, and education. by Adam Smith
It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it. by Dave Barry
Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers. by Dave Barry
By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece. by GK Chesterton
More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly. by Woody Allen
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above- average drivers. by Dave Barry
Man was made for action, and to promote by the exertion of his faculties such changes in the external circumstances both of himself and others, as may seem most favourable to the happiness of all. by Adam Smith
To those new States whom we welcome to the ranks of the free, we pledge our word that one form of colonial control shall not have passed away merely to be replaced by a far more iron tyranny. by John F. Kennedy
If we discovered that we only had five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them. by Christopher Morley
My observation is that whenever one person is found adequate to the discharge of a duty. Iit is worse executed by two persons, and scarcely done at all if three or more are employed therein. by George Washington
I am a thing that thinks, that is to say, a thing that doubts, affrims, denies, understands a few things, is ignorant of many things, wills, refrains from willing, and also imagines and senses. by Rene Descartes
I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed; and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep on trying. by Tom Hopkins
It made me sick to watch those businessmen applaud Welles during the 1975 AFI tribute, when you know that the next day if he asked any one of them for money, they'd say, 'We'll let you know.'" by John Cassavettes
All but the hard hearted man must be torn with pity for this pathetic dilemma of the rich man, who has to keep the poor man just stout enough to do the work and just thin enough to have to do it. by GK Chesterton
For there is one thing we must never forget...the majority can never replace the man. And no more than a hundred empty heads make one wise man will an heroic decision arise from a hundred cowards. by Adolf Hitler
The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government -- lest it come to dominate our lives and interests. by Patrick Henry
Under the doctrine of the separation of powers, the manner in which the president personally exercises his assigned executive powers is not subject to questioning by another branch of government. by Richard Nixon
It is the dissimilarities and inequalities among men which give rise to the notion of honor; as such differences become less, it grows feeble; and when they disappear, it will vanish too. by Alexis de Tocqueville
If there is a soul, it is a mistake to believe that it is given tous fully created. It is created here, throughout a whole life. And living is nothing else but that long and painful bringing forth. by Albert Camus
Nothing before had ever made me thoroughly realise, though I had read various scientific books, that science consists in grouping facts so that general laws or conclusions may be drawn from them. by Charles Darwin
Our memory is like a shop in the window of which is exposed now one, now another photograph of the same person. And as a rule the most recent exhibit remains for some time the only one to be seen. by Marcel Proust
A vital element in keeping the peace is our military establishment. Our arms must be mighty, ready for instant action, so that no potential aggressor may be temped to risk his own destruction. by Dwight Eisenhower
The United States stands at the pinnacle of world power. This is a solemn moment for the American democracy. For with primacy in power is joined an awe-inspiring accountability for the future. by Winston Churchill
All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose. by Brian Tracy
Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. by Daniel Webster
A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and time in which it is used. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. by C.S. Lewis
You shall be free indeed when your days are not without care nor your nights without a want and a grief, But rather when these things girdle your life and yet you rise above them naked and unbound. by Kahlil Gibran
We are all victims of mythology in one way or another. We are the inheritors, and many times the propogators, of a desire to believe what we want to believe, regardless of whether or not it is true. by J.V. Stewart
Only those who are fit to live do not fear to die. And none are fit to die who have shrunk from the joy of life and the duty of life. Both life and death are parts of the same great adventure. by Theodore Roosevelt
I think vital religion has always suffered when orthodoxy is more regarded than virtue. The scriptures assure me that at the last day we shall not be examined on what we thought but what we did. by Benjamin Franklin
Anyone who is not an anarchist agrees with having a policeman at the corner of the street; but the danger at present is that of finding the policeman half-way down the chimney or even under the bed. by GK Chesterton
Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner, unless you eat some of what's on that plate.  Being here in America doesn't make you an American.  Being born here in America doesn't make you an American. by Malcolm X
A few hours of mountain climbing turn a villain and a saint into two rather equal creature. Exhaustion is the shortest way to equality and fraternity, and liberty is added eventually by sleep. by Friedrich Nietzsche
If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired. by George Patton
The movie's director is the pilot. It's his vision. For an actor, the time to worry about flying is when you're on the ground. If you don't want to fly with the director, don't get on the plane. by Denzel Washington
America...just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable. by Hunter S. Thompson
The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionable integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office. by Dwight Eisenhower
To be thrown upon one's own resources, is to be cast into the very lap of fortune; for our faculties then undergo a development and display an energy of which they were previously unsusceptible. by Benjamin Franklin
I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.' by Homer Simpson
No human relation gives one possession in another...every two souls are absolutely different. In friendship and in love, the two side by side raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone. by Kahlil Gibran
A reasonable man adapts himself to his environment. An unreasonable man persists in attempting to adapt his environment to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. by George Bernard Shaw
Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives. by Bertrand Russell
Our country offers the most wonderful example of democratic government on a giant scale that the world has ever seen; and the peoples of the world are watching to see whether we succeed or fail. by Theodore Roosevelt
If a man has talent and can't use it, he's failed. If he uses only half of it, he has partly failed. If he uses the whole of it, he has succeeded, and won a satisfaction and triumph few men ever know. by Thomas Wolfe
The moments of the past do not remain still; they retain in our memory the motion which drew them towards the future, towards a future which has itself become the past, and draw us on in their train. by Marcel Proust
Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set. by Adlai Stevenson
'You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve,' said Aslan. 'And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor in earth.' by C.S. Lewis
When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy. by Homer Simpson
In the United States the majority undertakes to supply a multitude of ready-made opinions for the use of individuals, who are thus relieved from the necessity of forming opinions of their own. by Alexis de Tocqueville
We demand that big business give the people a square deal; in return we must insist that when anyone engaged in big business honestly endeavors to do right he shall himself be given a square deal. by Theodore Roosevelt
Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word, equality. But notice the difference: while democracy seeks equality in liberty, socialism seeks equality in restraint and servitude. by Alexis de Tocqueville
Remember if you marry for beauty, thou bindest thyself all thy life for that which perchance, will neither last nor please thee one year: and when thou hast it, it will be to thee of no price at all. by Emily Dickinson
The new rage is to say that the government is the cause of all our problems, and if only we had no government, we'd have no problems. I can tell you, that contradicts evidence, history, and common sense. by Bill Clinton
Some Americans need hyphens in their names, because only part of them has come over; but when the whole man has come over, heart and thought and all, the hyphen drops of its own weight out of his name. by Woodrow Wilson
Decadence is a difficult word to use since it has become little more than a term of abuse applied by critics to anything they do not yet understand or which seems to differ from their moral concepts. by Ernest Hemingway
It is only necessary to make war with five things: with the maladies of the body, with the ignorances of the mind, with the passions of the body, with the seditions of the city, with the discords of families. by Tacitus
For each illness that doctors cure with medicine, they provoke ten in healthy people by inoculating them with the virus that is a thousand times more powerful than any microbe: the idea that one is ill. by Marcel Proust
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive. It will often be exercised when wrong, but better so than not to be exercised at all. by Thomas Jefferson
The fact that a believer is happier than a sceptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality. by George Bernard Shaw
Every reader finds himself. The writer's work is merely a kind of optical instrument that makes it possible for the reader to discern what, without this book, he would perhaps never have seen in himself. by Marcel Proust
Occasionally words must serve to veil the facts. But this must happen in such a way that no one becomes aware of it; or, if it should be noticed, excuses must be at hand, to be produced immediately. by Nicolo Machiavelli
From this day forward, the millions of our schoolchildren will daily proclaim in every city and town, every village and rural schoolhouse, the dedication of our nation and our people to the Almighty. by Dwight Eisenhower
On life's journey faith is nourishment, virtuous deeds are a shelter, wisdom is the light by day and right mindfulness is the protection by night. If a man lives a pure life, nothing can destroy him. by Siddhartha Buddha
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. by Stephen Hawking
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home! by Charles Dickens
Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it onto future generations. by George Bernard Shaw
It is the march of freedom and democracy which will leave Marxism- Leninism on the ash heap of history as it has left other tyrannies which stifle the freedom and muzzle the self-expression of the people. by Ronald Reagan
Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tentative agreements... by Dave Barry
Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble. by William Shakespeare
The days of looking the other way while despotic regimes trample human rights, rob their nations' wealth, and then excuse their failings by feeding their people a steady diet of anti-Western hatred are over. by Dick Cheney
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it. by Alexandre Dumas
I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more. by Dorothy Parker
The West will not contain Communism, it will transcend Communism. We will not bother to denounce it, we'll dismiss it as a sad, bizarre chapter in human history whose last pages are even now being written. by Ronald Reagan
Civilization is the encouragement of differences. Civilization thus becomes a synonym of democracy. Force, violence, pressure, or compulsion with a view to conformity, is both uncivilized and undemocratic. by Mahatma Gandhi
The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired. by Stephen Hawking
So let us begin anew -- remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof. Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate. by John F. Kennedy
In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West -- the Grand Canyon, the Badlands, the Goodlands, the Mediocrelands, the Rocky Mountains and Robert Redford -- were caused by erosion. by Dave Barry
The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. by Henry Mencken
We are so concerned to flatter the majority that we lose sight of how very often it is necessary, in order to preserve freedom for the minority, let alone for the individual, to face that majority down. by William F. Buckley
Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to that arrogant oligarchy who merely happen to be walking around. by GK Chesterton
Our industries have expanded to such a point that they will burst their jackets if they cannot find a free outlet to the markets of the world. Our domestic markets no longer suffice. We need foreign markets. by Woodrow Wilson
Many interviewers when they come to talk to me, think they're being progressive by not mentioning in their stories any longer that I'm black. I tell them, 'Don't stop now. If I shot somebody you'd mention it.' by Colin Powell
All the people throughout my life who were naysayers pissed me off. But they've all given me a fervor; an angry ambition that cannot be stopped - and I look forward to finding a therapist and working on that. by Tobey Maguire
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order. by Dwight Eisenhower
I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990. by Dave Barry
No enterprise can exist for itself alone. It ministers to some great need, it performs some great service, not for itself, but for others; or failing therein, it ceases to be profitable and ceases to exist. by Calvin Coolidge
Who can endure a doctrine which would allow only dentists to say whether our teeth were aching, only cobblers to say whether our shoes hurt us, and only governments to tell us whether we were being well governed? by C.S. Lewis
The thing we all have to understand to put these last two years in focus, is that liberals in this country care more about whether European leaders like us than they do about whether terrorists are killing us. by Rush Limbaugh
It is necessary for the welfare of society that genius should be privileged to utter sedition, to blaspheme, to outrage good taste, to corrupt the youthful mind, and generally to scandalize one's uncles. by George Bernard Shaw
Time takes it all, whether you want it to or not. Time takes it all, time bears it away, and in the end there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometimes we lose them there again. by Stephen King
If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies. by Dave Barry
Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes. by Bill Cosby
It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in such an inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence, their absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their entire lack of style. by Oscar Wilde
Because of the level of my chess game, I was able - even against a weak opponent, such as my younger brothers or the dog - to get myself checkmated in under three minutes. I challenge any computer to do it faster. by Dave Barry
Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Remember to lean back in the parade so everybody can see the president. Be sure not to get too fat, because you'll have to sit three in the back. by Eleanor Roosevelt
America is much more than a geographical fact.  It is a political and moral fact - the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality. by Adlai Stevenson
To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. by Theodore Roosevelt
There comes a time when deceit and defiance must be seen for what they are. At that point, a gathering danger must be directly confronted. At that point, we must show that beyond our resolutions is actual resolve. by Dick Cheney
This does not mean that the enemy is to be allowed to escape. The object is to make him believe that there is a road to safety, and thus prevent his fighting with the courage of despair. After that, you may crush him. by Sun Tzu
If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you. by Jack Handey
Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself. by Mark Twain
It was we, the people; not we, the white male citizens; nor yet we, the male citizens; but we, the whole people, who formed the Union... Men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. by Susan B. Anthony
If we desire to avoid insult, we must be able to repel it; if we desire to secure peace, one of the most powerful instruments of our rising prosperity, it must be known, that we are at all times ready for War. by George Washington
Poetry may make us from time to time a little more aware of the deeper, unnamed feelings which form the substratum of our being, to which we rarely penetrate; for our lives are mostly a constant evasion of ourselves. by T.S. Eliot
Movies are my religion and God is my patron. I'm lucky enough to be in the position where I don't make movies to pay for my pool. When I make a movie, I want it to be everything to me; like I would die for it. by Quentin Tarantino
Science is not about building a body of known 'facts'. It is a method for asking awkward questions and subjecting them to a reality-check, thus avoiding the human tendency to believe whatever makes us feel good. by Terry Pratchett
Now more than ever before, the people are responsible for the character of their Congress. If that body be ignorant, reckless and corrupt, it is because the people tolerate ignorance, recklessness and corruption. by James Garfield
The usual approach of science of constructing a mathematical model cannot answer the questions of why there should be a universe for the model to describe. Why does the universe go to all the bother of existing? by Stephen Hawking
The criterion of true beauty is that it increases on examination; if false, that it lessens. There is therefore, something in true beauty that corresponds with right reason, and is not the mere creation of fancy. by Fulke Greville
There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams. Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. by Erna Bombeck
Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words: it is war minus the shooting. by George Orwell
While I do not suggest that humanity will ever be able to dispense with its martyrs, I cannot avoid the suspicion that with a little more thought and a little less belief their number may be substantially reduced. by J.B.S. Haldane
Fear is not in the habit of speaking truth; when perfect sincerity is expected, perfect freedom must be allowed; nor has anyone who is apt to be angry when he hears the truth any cause to wonder that he does not hear it. by Tacitus
...I hope that we will hear no more of all ways of life and all cultures being equally valid, which none of us truly believes but which many people mouth in order to appear broad-minded and generous of spirit. by Armand Nicholi Jr.
There is only one force of history that can break the reign of hatred and resentment, and expose the pretensions of tyrants, and reward the hopes of the decent and tolerant, and that is the force of human freedom. by George W. Bush
Art is a kind of innate drive that seizes a human being and makes him its instrument. The artist is not a person endowed with free will who seeks his own ends, but one who allows art to realize its purpose through him. by Carl Jung
I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church. by Thomas Paine
Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends. by J.R.R. Tolkien
What is the most important for democracy is not that great fortunes should not exist, but that great fortunes should not remain in the same hands. In that way there are rich men, but they do not form a class. by Alexis de Tocqueville
Some regard private enterprise as if it were a predatory tiger to be shot. Others look upon it as a cow that they can milk. Only a handful see it for what it really is--the strong horse that pulls the whole cart. by Winston Churchill
The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them. by Thomas Jefferson
Cast off the shackles of this modern oppression and take back what is rightfully yours, because as William Shakespeare never wrote, 'Life is but a bullring, and we are but matadors trying to dodge all the horns.' by Matthew Clayfield
We are commanded to love God with all our minds, as well as with all our hearts, and we commit a great sin if we forbid or prevent that cultivation of the mind in others which would enable them to perform this duty. by Angelina Grimke
Freedom is the right to question and change the established way of doing things. It is the continuous revolution of the marketplace. It is the understanding that allows us to recognize shortcomings and seek solutions. by Ronald Reagan
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. by Martin Luther King Jr.
It has been often said, very truly, that religion is the thing that makes the ordinary man feel extraordinary; it is an equally important truth that religion is the thing that makes the extraordinary man feel ordinary. by GK Chesterton
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. by Kurt Vonnegut
Creative force, like a musical composer, goes on unweariedly repeating a simple air or theme, now high, now low, in solo, in chorus, ten thousand times reverberated, till it fills earth and heaven with the chant. by Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmas time.  Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them. by P.J. O'Rourke
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings. by Anais Nin
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty. by John F. Kennedy
Rome remained free for four hundred years and Sparta eight hundred, although their citizens were armed all that time; but many other states that have been disarmed have lost their liberties in less than forty years. by Nicolo Machiavelli
The constitution vests the power of declaring war in Congress; therefore no offensive expedition of importance can be undertaken until after they shall have deliberated upon the subject and authorized such a measure. by George Washington
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when somebody comes up act like they just woke up and go, 'What was THAT?!' by Jack Handey
In framing a government which is to be administered by men over men the great difficulty lies in this: You must first enable the government to control the governed, and in the next place, oblige it to control itself. by Alexander Hamilton
At least five times...with the Arian and the Albigensian, with the Humanist sceptic, after Voltaire and after Darwin, the Faith has to all appearance gone to the dogs. In each of these five cases it was the dog that died. by GK Chesterton
No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master. by Hunter S. Thompson
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus's-flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition. by Jack Handey
When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, 'I like mayonnaise.' She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me. by Jack Handey
If we cut up beasts simply because they cannot prevent us and because we are backing our own side in the struggle for existence, it is only logical to cut up imbeciles, criminals, enemies, or capitalists for the same reasons. by C.S. Lewis
It is the madness of folly, to expect mercy from those who have refused to do justice; and even mercy, where conquest is the object, is only a trick of war; the cunning of the fox is as murderous as the violence of the wolf. by Thomas Paine
Telling us to obey instinct is like telling us to obey 'people.' People say different things: so do instincts. Our instincts are at war. Each instinct, if you listen to it, will claim to be gratified at the expense of the rest. by C.S. Lewis
Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. by Aristotle
Natural selection, the unconscious, automatic, blind yet essentially non-random process that Darwin discovered, has no purpose in mind. If it can be said to play the role of watchmaker in nature, it is the blind watchmaker. by Richard Dawkins
The most fundamental fact about the ideas of the political left is that they do not work. Therefore we should not be surprised to find the left concentrated in institutions where ideas do not have to work in order to survive. by Thomas Sowell
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. by Dave Barry
It is both foolish and wicked to teach the average man who is not well off that some wrong or injustice has been done him, and that he should hope for redress elsewhere than in his own industry, honesty, and intelligence. by Theodore Roosevelt
For the want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for the want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for the want of a horse the rider was lost, being overtaken and slain by the enemy, all for the want of care about a horseshoe nail. by Benjamin Franklin
Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart. by Martin Luther King Jr.
One of the great attractions of patriotism -- it fulfills our worst wishes. In the person of our nation we are able, vicariously, to bully and cheat. Bully and cheat, what's more, with a feeling that we are profoundly virtuous. by Aldous Huxley
For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions, even on important subjects, which I once thought right but found to be otherwise. by Benjamin Franklin
The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do well, and doing well whatever you do without thought of fame. If it comes at all it will come because it is deserved, not because it is sought after. by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency. by Bill Gates
Today's students can put dope in their veins or hope in their brains. If they can conceive it and believe it, they can achieve it. They must know it is not their aptitude, but their attitude, that will determine their altitude. by Jesse Jackson
What you have lost will not be returned to you. It will always be lost. You're left with only your scars to mark the void. All you can choose to do is go on or not. But if you go on, it's knowing you carry your scars with you. by Charles Frazier
Men speak of natural rights, but I challenge any one to show where in nature any rights existed or were recognized until there was established for their declaration and protection a duly promulgated body of corresponding laws. by Calvin Coolidge
Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion. by Albert Einstein
It is very easy to tell the difference between man-made and God-made objects. The more you magnify man-made objects, the cruder they look, but the more you magnify God-made objects, the more precise and intricate they appear. by Luther Sutherland
There is no man, however wise, who has not at some period of his youth said things, or lived in a way the consciousness of which is so unpleasant to him in later life that he would gladly, if he could, expunge it from his memory. by Marcel Proust
Don't say it was 'delightful'; make us say 'delightful' when we've read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers 'Please, will you do the job for me?' by C.S. Lewis
Every great decision creates ripples - like a huge boulder dropped in a lake. The ripples merge, rebound off the banks in unforseeable ways. The heavier the decision, the larger the waves, the more uncertain the consequences. by Benjamin Disraeli
Little else is requisite to carry a state to the highest degree of opulence from the lowest barbarism but peace, easy taxes, and a tolerable administration of justice: all the rest being brought about by the natural course of things. by Adam Smith
Gandhi was inevitable. If humanity is to progress, Gandhi is inescapable. He lived, thought and acted, inspired by the vision of humanity evolving toward a world of peace and harmony. We may ignore Gandhi at our own risk. by Martin Luther King Jr.
The Social Contract is nothing more or less than a vast conspiracy of human beings to lie to and humbug themselves and one another for the general good. Lies are the mortar that bind the savage individual man into the social masonry. by H.G. Wells
Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and myself founded empires; but what foundation did we rest the creations of our genius? Upon force. Jesus Christ founded an empire upon love; and at this hour millions of men would die for Him. by Napoleon Bonaparte
You cannot go on 'explaining away' for ever: you will find that you have explained explanation itself away. You cannot go on 'seeing through' things for ever. The whole point of seeing through something is to see something through it. by C.S. Lewis
When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall - think of it, <b>always</b>. by Mahatma Gandhi
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas. by George Bernard Shaw
By our efforts, we have lit a fire as well--a fire in the minds of men. It warms those who feel its power, it burns those who fight its progress, and one day this untamed fire of freedom will reach the darkest corners of our world. by George W. Bush
Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society. by Benjamin Franklin
I feel impelled to speak today in a language that in a sense is new-one which I, who have spent so much of my life in the military profession, would have preferred never to use. That new language is the language of atomic warfare. by Dwight Eisenhower
We need true tax reform that will at least make a start toward restoring for our children the American Dream that wealth is denied to no one, that each individual has the right to fly as high as his strength and ability will take him. by Ronald Reagan
Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. by Martin Luther King Jr.
True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island....to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing. by Baltasar Gracian
Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. by Winston Churchill
If there is any principle of the Constitution that more imperatively calls for attachment than any other it is the principle of free thought, not free thought for those who agree with us but freedom for the thought that we hate. by Oliver Wendell Holmes
The baby rises to its feet, takes a step, is overcome with triumph and joy - and falls flat on its face. It is a pattern for all that is to come! But learn from the bewildered baby. Lurch to your feet again. You'll make the sofa in the end. by Pam Brown
Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand. by C.S. Lewis
I have always thought of Christmas time as a good time. A kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. The only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely. by Charles Dickens
Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return. by Colin Powell
Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering. by Saint Augustine
America is not like a blanket: one piece of unbroken cloth, the same color, the same texture, the same size. America is more like a quilt: many patches, many pieces, many colors, many sizes, all woven and held together by a common thread. by Jesse Jackson