LAO SHE TEAHOUSE -------- (A Play in Three Acts) Translated by JOHN HOWARD-GIBBON Act One ------- CHARACTERS: Wang Lifa, Pockface Liu, Eunuch Pang, Soothsayer Tang, Sixth- Born Kang, Little Ox, Second Elder Song, Fatso Huang, Song Enzi, Fourth Elder Chang, Qin Zhongyi, Wu Xiangzi, Third-Born Li, Old Man, Kang Shunzi, Erdezi, Peasant Woman, four Teahouse Customers, Fifth Elder Ma, Little Girl, two Waiters. TIME: Early autumn, 1898. The Reform Movement of Kang Youwei, Liang Qichao and their adherents has failed. Morning. PLACE: Beijing. Yutai Teahouse. SCENE: Large teahouses like this are no longer to be seen, but a few decades ago every district in Beijing had at least one, where in addition to tea, simple snacks and meals were served. Every day bird fanciers, after strolling about with their caged orioles and thrushes, would come in to rest awhile, enjoy a pot of tea, and compare the singing abilities of their birds. Go-betweens and those who had deals to discuss also frequented such teahouses. In those days there were always friends about to calm things down. The two sides would crowd around these mediators who would reason first with one side then the other; then they would all drink tea and down bowls of noodles with minced pork (a specialty of the large teahouses - cheap and quickly prepared), hostility transformed to hospitality. In sum, the teahouse was an important institution of those times, a place where people came to transact business, or simply to while away the time. In the teahouses one could hear the most absurd stories, such as how in a certain place a huge spider had turned into a demon and was then struck by lightning. One could also come in contact with the strangest views; for example, that foreign troops could be prevented from landing by building a Great Wall along the sea coast. Here one might also hear about the latest tune composed by some Beijing Opera star, or the best way to prepare opium. In the teahouses one might also see rare art objects newly acquired by some patron - a jade fan pendant, recently unearthed, or a three-colour glazed snuff bottle. Yes, the teahouse was indeed an important place; it could even be reckoned a kind of cultural centre. We are about to see just such a teahouse. Just inside the main entrance is the counter and a cookstove - to make things simpler, the stove can be dispensed with if the clatter of pots and pans is heard off stage. The room should be large and high- ceilinged, with both oblong tables and square ones, and traditional teahouse benches and stools. Through the window an inner courtyard can be seen with more benches and stools under a high awning. In the teahouse and under the awning there are hooks for hanging bird cages. Pasted up everywhere are notices: "Don't discuss state affairs." Two unidentified patrons, their eyes narrowed, their heads nodding, are softly singing an opera tune, beating the time with their hands. Two or three more patrons are totally enthralled by a cricket in an earthenware jar. Song Enzi and Wu Xiangzi, wearing grey gowns, are talking secretively. Judging by their appearance they are police agents from the Northern Yamen. Today, another quarrel has broken out between two gangs; the dispute is said to be over a pigeon. It seemed that it could not be settled without resort to violence, in which case someone would surely have been killed because vicious thugs from the Wrestling Academy and the Guards from the Imperial Storehouses had been hired. Fortunately, before they could come to blows, a mediator intervened. The two sides are about to meet in the teahouse. In twos and threes, looking fierce and arrogant, and dressed in short fighting attire the thugs enter the teahouse and head for the inner courtyard. Fifth Elder Ma sits by himself in an inconspicuous corner drinking tea. Wang Lifa is sitting on a high stool behind the counter. Soothsayer Tang enters in tattered shoes, wearing a very long and very filthy cotton gown, some scraps of paper tucked behind one ear. WANG LIFA: Older Tang, why don't you take a walk, eh? SOOTHSAYER TANG (with a wan smile): Proprietor Wang, show a little kindness to old Soothsayer Tang a bit. Give me a bowl of tea and I'll tell you your fortune. Come on, let me see your palm - won't cost you a cent. (Not waiting for Wang's agreement, takes hold of his hand.) It's 1898, the twenty-forth year of Emperor Guangxu's reign. And your age.... WANG LIFA(snatching his had away): Forget it! There's no need to ply me with that old fortuneteller's gab - I'll give you a bowl of tea. Fortunetelling's useless. In this country people like us are always the underdogs anyway. (Comes out from behind his counter and guides Soothsayer Tang to a seat.)* Sit down. You know, if you don't break that opium habit nothing good will ever come your way. That's my way of telling fortunes - much more effective than yours. (Carrying bird cages, Second Elder Song and Fourth Elder Chang enter. Wang Lifa greets them. After hanging up their cages they look for a place to sit. Second Elder Song, who has a scholarly air about him, has a small oriole cage; Fourth Elder Chang, a vigorous looking fellow, has a much larger thrush cage. The teahouse waiter, Third- Born Li, comes over quickly, fills their bowls with boiling water and replaces the lids. They have brought their own tea leaves. When the tea has properly steeped, Song and Chang politely proffer some to the guests around them.) SECOND ELDER SONG and FOURTH ELDER CHANG: You should really try this. (They then look in the direction of the inner courtyard.) SECOND ELDER SONG: Looks like trouble again. FOURTH ELDER CHANG: But nothing will come of it. If they really wanted to fight they'd have gone outside the city long ago, eh? What's the point of coming to the teahouse? (Erdezi, a hired bully, enters just in time to overhear Fourth Elder Chang.) ERDEZI(confronting him): You. Who do you think you're talking about? FOURTH ELDER CHANG(unwilling to back down): What's it to you? I've paid for my tea - surely I don't have to answer to anyone. SECOND ELDER SONG(sizing up Erdezi): Well, sir, I'd guess that you're from the Wrestling Academy, eh? Come on - sit down and have some tea. We are all men of the world. ERDEZI: What I do is none of your business. FOURTH ELDER CHANG: If you want to frighten someone why don't you take on the foreigners? - they're a tough lot. You're in the government's pay, but I didn't see you rushing into the fray when the English and French destroyed Yuan Ming Yuan. ERDEZI: To hell with the foreigners, I'm going to teach you a lesson instead. (Raises his fists.) (Other customers in the teahouse ignore the disturbance, but Wang Lifa rushes over.) WANG LIFA: Now, brothers, we're all neighbours. We should settle things reasonably. Sir, why don't you join them in the inner courtyard? (Erdezi, ignoring Wang Lifa, suddenly brushes a teabowl off the table, smashing it. He reaches out to grab Fourth Elder Chang by the collar.) FOURTH ELDER CHANG(dodging): You want to start something? ERDEZI: Start something? So, I can't handle the foreigners, eh? Well, I can surely handle you. FIFTH ELDER MA (without bothering to get up): Erdezi, you're quite something. ERDEZI(looking around, spots Fifth Elder Ma): Ho! Fifth Elder Ma, I didn't know you were here. How careless of me not to have noticed you. (Goes over and drops to one knee in the traditional gesture of respect.) FIFTH ELDER MA: If there's a problem, you should settle it in an amiable way. What's the point of going around threatening people? ERDEZI: Of course, sir. You're quite right. I'll go and join them in the inner courtyard. Third-Born Li, I'll pay for the tea at this table. (Goes to inner courtyard.) FOURTH ELDER CHANG (walking over to Fifth Elder Ma to continue his argument): You, sir, you're an intelligent man. Who do you think's in the right? FIFTH ELDER MA (rising): I've got other things to attend to. Goodbye. (Exits.) FOURTH ELDER CHANG(to Wang Lifa): Oddball, that guy. WANG LIFA: Didn't you know that's Fifth Elder Ma? You're probable on his black list now. FOURTH ELDER CHANG: Do you think I've offended him? I should've taken the Almanac's advice and stayed home today. WANG LIFA(whispering): You were just condemning the foreigners. Well, he works for the foreigners. Follows their religion, speaks their language. Whenever he wants something done he goes straight to the Magistrate of Wanping Country. Why else would even officials be afraid of provoking him? FOURTH ELDER CHANG(going back to his seat): Humph! I never have a good opinion of anyone who lives off the foreigners. WANG LIFA(tripping his head slightly in the direction of Song Enzi and Wu Xiangzi, in a whisper): Be careful what you say. (Loudly.)*Third- Born Li, another bowl of tea for this table. (Picks up the shattered bits of the teabowl.) SECOND ELDER SONG: How much for the bowl? I'll pay for it. Gentlemen don't lower themselves to the antics of old women. WANG LIFA: No hurry, we'll square up later. (Moves away.) (The flesh merchant Pockface Liu enters leading Sixth-Born Kang. Pockface Liu greets Second Elder Song and Fourth Elder Chang.) POCKFACE LIU: You're early today, Gentlemen. (Takes out his snuff bottle and pours out a bit.)* Try this. It's just arrived - genuine English stuff. Fine and pure. FOURTH ELDER CHANG: Ai! Even our snuff has to be imported. Just think how much silver goes out of the country to pay for it. POCKFACE LIU: This Great Qing Empire of ours has mountains of gold and silver. We'll never use it all. Please be seated; I've got a bit of business to attend to. (Takes Sixth-Born Kang to find a seat.) (Third-Born Li brings over a bowl of tea.) POCKFACE LIU: Well, what do you say? How about ten taels of silver? Yes or no. I'm too busy to waste a lot of time with you. SIXTH-BORN KANG: Elder Liu! Is a fifteen-year-old girl only worth ten taels? POCKFACE LIU: If you sold her into a whorehouse you'd perhaps get a few taels more. But you're not willing to do that. SIXTH-BORN KANG: She's my own flesh and blood. How can I.... POCKFACE LIU: She's your own, but you can't afford to feed her. Whose fault is that? SIXTH-BORN KANG: It's because it's impossible for us peasants to get by these days. If we could manage even a bowl of gruel a day for each of us, and I still wanted to sell my daughter - then, could I call myself a man? POCKFACE LIU: That's you peasants' problem, not mine. You asked me for help, and I got you a good deal. I also found your daughter a place where she can fill her belly. Isn't that enough? SIXTH-BORN KANG: Just who's she being sold to? POCKFACE LIU: You'll be delighted when I tell you - he's a palace official. SIXTH-BORN KANG: What kind of palace official would want a peasant girl? POCKFACE LIU: So then, isn't your daughter lucky? SIXTH-BORN KANG: But who is he? POCKFACE LIU: The Head Eunuch, Pang. Surely you've heard of him. Waits on the Empress Dowager - he's a tremendously popular man. Even his vinegar bottles are made of agate. SIXTH-BORN KANG: How could I face my daughter if I sold her to be a eunuch's wife? POCKFACE LIU: Whoever you sell her to, you won't be able to face her again, will you? You're a fool. Look, in his house she'll be eating the finest delicacies and wearing the best brocades. Isn't that good fortune? Well, make up your mind - let's get it over with. SIXTH-BORN KANG: Has there ever been, from earliest times.... He'll only give ten taels? POCKFACE LIU: There aren't ten taels of silver to be found in your whole village. In the countryside you can buy a child for five catties of wheat flour. Don't tell me you don't know that. SIXTH-BORN KANG: I...ah!...I've got to talk it over with my daughter. POCKFACE LIU: I'm telling you, this is your only chance. If you miss it, don't blame me. Hurry up. SIXTH-BORN KANG: Ai! I'll be back as soon as I can. POCKFACE LIU: I'll wait for you here. (Exits Sixth-Born Kang slowly.) POCKFACE LIU(moving over to Second Elder Song and Fourth Elder Chang): Those country bumpkins are a pain in the neck; they can never make up their minds. SECOND ELDER SONG: I expect you're making a bit on this deal? POCKFACE LIU: Not all that much. But if it goes through I'll make a silver ingot. FORTH ELDER CHANG: What's going on in the countryside, that people are driven to selling their children? POCKFACE LIU: Who knows? But the way thins are, even a dog would prefer to be born in Beijing. FOURTH ELDER CHANG: Elder Liu, you must really be ruthless to make your living at this trade. POCKFACE LIU: If it wasn't for me maybe they wouldn't find buyers. (Abruptly changes the subject.)* Second Elder Song(taking out a small pocket watch), how do you like this? SECOND ELDER SONG(taking the watch): *What a handsome little watch! POCKFACE LIU: Hear how nicely it ticks? SECOND ELDER SONG(listening): *How much do you want for it? POCKFACE LIU: You like it? Then take it. Five taels of silver - simple as that. If you get tired of it, you can return it for the same amount. It's top quality, the kind of thing you'd like to keep in the family. FOURTH ELDER CHANG: What I'm trying to figure out is why we all have so many foreign things. Old Liu, look at yourself; a foreign snuff bottle, a foreign watch, a gown of foreign satin, and a jacket and trousers of foreign cotton.... POCKFACE LIU: But foreign things are real classy. If I dressed in local cloth like a country bumpkin, no one would take any note of me. FOURTH ELDER CHANG: I always think that our own satin and Sichuan silk are much finer. POCKFACE LIU: Second Elder Song, you'd better hang onto that watch. In these times, a good foreign watch like that can make people look up to you. Right? What do you say? SECOND ELDER SONG (impressed with the watch, but thinking it's too expensive): *I...uh.... POCKFACE LIU: Keep it a few days. Pay me later. (Fatso Huang enters.) FATSO HUANG(suffering badly from trachoma, he has poor eyesight. Greeting everybody in the teahouse as soon as he enters): *Brothers, look at me. I'm paying my respects to you. We're all one big family - don't do anything to upset our friendship. WANG LIFA: Your friends aren't here; they're in the inner courtyard. FATSO HUANG: Ah, yes, my eyes are rather poor. Proprietor, get minced pork noodles ready. As long as Fatso Huang is here there won't be any fighting. (Moves towards courtyard.) ERDEZI(coming out to greet him): *The two sides are already together. Please hurry. (Erdezi and Fatso Huang go into courtyard.) (The waiters repeatedly carry kettles of hot water to the courtyard. Old Man selling toothpicks, beardcombs, earpicks, and other such items enters. Head bent, he moves slowly from customer to customer, but nobody buys anything from him. He is about to go into the inner courtyard, but is stopped by Third-Born Li.) THIRD-BORN LI: Hey, grandpa, you'd better try somewhere else. They're settling a dispute in there - they're not interested in your things. (Hands Old Man a leftover bowl of tea in passing.) SECOND ELDER SONG(whispering): Third-Born Li. @ (Points to courtyard.) What exactly has got them so riled up? THIRD-BORN LI (whispering): * It's over a pigeon, they say. Someone's pigeon flew into someone else's house, and they refused to return it.... Ai! The less we say the better. (To Old Man.)* Grandpa, you must be well on in years. OLD MAN(drinking tea): Thanks very much. I'm eighty-two, but I have no one to look after me. These days it seems like a pigeon is better off than a man. Ai! (Exits slowly.) (Qin Zhongyi enters, impeccably dressed and looking very pleased with himself.) WANG LIFA: Aiyo! How can you spare the time to drop in on us like this? - and without even a servant. QIN ZHONGYI: Just checking - checking to see if a young fellow like yourself can run a place like this. WANG LIFA: Ai! I've had to learn because I depend on this place for living. Since my father died young, I have no choice. Luckily, the regular customers are all old friends of my father; they're prepared to overlook my mistakes. When you're in business to make a living it's very important to be well-liked. I do things just like my father did. If I'm not dropping to my knee, in greeting, I'm dropping compliments - trying to please everybody. That way you avoid trouble. Please sit down. I'll make you a bowl of the very best. QIN ZHONGYI: I didn't come here to drink tea, and I don't want to sit down. WANG LIFA: Please stay a while. It's an honour to have you here. QIN ZHONGYI: Well, okay. (Sits.)* But you'll get nothing by playing up to me. WANG LIFA: Third-Born Li, a bowl of our finest. Second Elder, I hope your family are all in good health. Is business going well? QIN ZHONGYI: Not as well as it might. WANG LIFA: With the amount of business you do, what could you have to worry about? Everything I have put together doesn't compare to your little finger. SOOTHSAYER TANG (coming over): This gentleman has an auspicious face. Truly a full forehead and a strong jaw. I don't see the lineaments of a prime minister, but there's a wealthy merchant there. QIN ZHONGYI: Leave me alone. Get out! WANG LIFA: Mr. Tang, you've had your tea - go and find something else to do. (Gently pushes him away.) SOOTHSAYER TANG: Ai! (Exits dejectedly.) QIN ZHONGYI: Little Wang, don't you agree it's time that the rent on this place was increased? The pittance that your fatter gave me is no longer enough to keep me in tea. WANG LIFA: Second Elder, you're right - quite right. But there's no need for you to trouble yourself over such petty things. Send one of your clerks to talk it over with me, and of course I'll pay whatever we agree on. Of course I'll pay it. QIN ZHONGYI: You little rascal, you're slipperier than your father. Humph! You'll see. Sooner or later I'm going to repossess this place. WANG LIFA: Don't scare me like that. I know you're concerned about me and want to look after me. I know you would never drive me out to peddle hot tea in the streets. QIN ZHONGYI: You just wait and see. (Peasant Woman enters with ten-year-old Little Girl. The girl has straw stuck in her hair, indicating that she is for sale. At first, Third-Born Li is not going to let them in, but he feels sorry for them and relents. The two of them come in very hesitantly. The laughter and talking suddenly stop as the customers turn to look at them.) LITTLE GIRL(stopping in the middle of the stage): Momma, I'm hungry. I'm hungry. (The woman stares at the girl. Suddenly her legs weaken and she sinks to the floor, sobbing into her hands.) QIN ZHONGYI(to Wang Lifa): Throw them out. WANG LIFA: Right. Out you go. You can't stay here. PEASANT WOMAN: Is there a kind man among you? This child for two taels of silver. FOURTH ELDER CHANG: Third-Born Li, take them outside and give them two bowls of noodles with minced pork. THIRD-BORN LI: Right! (Goes over to Peasant Woman.)* Come on, wait by the entrance and I'll bring you some noodles. PEASANT WOMAN(stands up and moves off, wiping away her tears, seemingly having forgotten her child. But after a few steps she turns and, coming back, draws the girl to her, kissing her): My darling. My darling. WANG LIFA: Come on, come on. (Peasant Woman and Little Girl go off. Third-Born Li follows a moment later with two bowls of noodles.) WANG LIFA(coming over): Fourth Elder Chang, it's very good of you to buy them noodles. But, you know, there are thousands like them, thousands - and nobody can do anything about it. (To Qin Zhongyi.)* Second Elder, what do you think? Don't you agree? FOURTH ELDER CHANG: (to Second Elder Song):* Second Elder, what I think is that our Great Qing Empire is about done for. QIN ZHONGYI(in a superior tone): Whether it's done for or not has nothing to do with someone buying a few bowls of noodles for the poor. Little Wang, to be quite honest, I'm seriously thinking about repossessing this place. WANG LIFA: But you can't do that, Second Elder! QIN ZHONGYI: Not only am I going to repossess my buildings, I'm going to sell off my farmland and my establishments in the city as well. WANG LIFA: But why? QIN ZHONGYI: To consolidate my capital and start a factory. WANG LIFA: Start a factory? QIN ZHONGYI: Mmm! A huge, a really huge, factory. That's the only way we'll save the poor, the only way we'll keep out foreign goods, and it's the only way to save the Empire. (Speaks to Wang Lifa, but is looking at Fourth Elder Chang.) Ai! What's the point of telling you? You wouldn't understand. WANG LIFA: You're going to let go of all your property, for the sake of society, with no concern for yourself? QIN ZHONGYI: You don't understand. It's the only way to strengthen our nation. Oh, forget it. It's time I left. I've seen for myself - you're doing okay here. Don't give me any more of your tripe about not raising the rent. WANG LIFA: Hang on, I'll call a mulecart for you. QIN ZHONGYI: Don't bother. I prefer to walk. (Exit Qin Zhongyi, with Wang Lifa seeing him out.) (Little Ox enters supporting Eunuch Pang. Little Ox is carrying a water pipe.) EUNUCH PANG: Why, Second Elder Qin. QIN ZHONGYI: Master Pang! I expect you've been feeling a bit easier the last few days, eh? EUNUCH PANG: That should go without saying. Order has been restored. The Imperial Edict has come down: Tan Sitong has been given the death sentence. I tell you, anyone who takes it into his head to change the statues laid down by our ancestors is going to lose his head. QIN ZHONGYI: I'm quite aware of that. (The teahouse customers are suddenly silent, holding their breath as they listen.) EUNUCH PANG: You're a clever one, Second Elder. How else could you have become so wealthy, eh? QIN ZHONGYI: The little property I have isn't worth mentioning. EUNUCH PANG: You're a trifle modest, perhaps? Why, the whole of Beijing knows Second Elder Qin. You're more formidable than the officials themselves. I've heard, by the way, that many of the wealthy support the Reform Movement. QIN ZHONGYI: Not so, not so. What little prestige I have pales in your presence. (Laughs heartily.) EUNUCH PANG: Nicely said. Like the Eight Immortals crossing the sea, we each have our own strengths, eh? (Laughs heartily.) QIN ZHONGYI: I must pay you a visit one of these days. Goodbye. (Exits.) EUNUCH PANG(to himself): Humph! When an upstart like that dares to cross words with me, I guess times are really changing. (To Wang Lifa.)* Is Pockface Liu here? WANG LIFA: Your Excellency, please make yourself at home. (Pockface Liu had seen Eunuch Pang come in, but did not come over for fear of disrupting his conversation with Qin Zhongyi.) POCKFACE LIU: Ho! My Old Master. May Heaven bestow fortune on you! I've been waiting for you all the morning. (Guides Eunuch Pang to a table.) (Song Enzi and Wu Xiangzi come over to pay their respects; Eunuch Pang whispers something to them.) (The other customers, after a moment's silence, become talkative again.) FIRST CUSTOMER: Who's Tan Sitong? SECOND CUSTOMER: The name rings a bell. Anyway, he must have committed a major crime. Why else would he be sentenced to death? THIRD CUSTOMER: Over the past few months some of the officials and students have been making a lot of trouble. How can we possibly know what mischief they are up to! FOURTH CUSTOMER: So what! My Bannerman's stipend's secure again. This guy Tan, and that other guy, Kang Youwei - weren't they advocating cutting off our stipends and making us work for a living? Pretty damn mean. THIRD CUSTOMER: The bulk of our stipends is creamed off by the top officials anyhow. We have a hard time whichever way you look at it. FOURTH CUSTOMER: But it's better than losing everything. I'd sooner live in poverty than die in style. There's no way I could survive if I had to make my own living. WANG LIFA: Gentlemen, I don't think it's a good idea to discuss state affairs. (The place quietens down, and the customers turn again to their private concerns.) EUNUCH PANG (already seated): What? Two hundred taels of silver for a peasant girl? POCKFACE LIU(standing in attendance): A peasant girl, yes - but she's really handsome. In the city, properly made up and with a bit of training, I guarantee she'll not only be beautiful - she'll be well- mannered as well. I work harder for you than I would for my own father; I haven't left a single thing to chance. (Soothsayer Tang returns.) WANG LIFA: Soothsayer, why are you here again? SOOTHSAYER TANG: There are troops and police everywhere. I don't know what's going on. EUNUCH PANG: They're doubtless looking for Tan Sitong's remnant followers, aren't they? Relax, Soothsayer - nobody's after you. SOOTHSAYER TANG: Thank you, Your Excellency. Now, if you'd just give me a few puffs on that pipe of yours my life would be really rosy. (A number of customers seemingly have sensed trouble, and one by one have left the teahouse.) SECOND ELDER SONG: It's getting late; perhaps we should go. FOURTH ELDER CHANG: Right. Let's go. (The two men in grey - Song Enzi and Wu Xiangzi - come over.) SONG ENZI: Just a moment! FOURTH ELDER CHANG: What's up? SONG ENZI: Didn't you just say "the Great Qing Empire is about done for"? FOURTH ELDER CHANG: Me? I love our Great Qing Empire; I'm concerned about its survival. WU XIANGZI:(to Second Elder Song):* You heard him, didn't you? That's what he said, isn't it? SECOND ELDER SONG: Brothers, we drink tea here every day. Proprietor Wang knows - we're both honest, loyal men. WU XIANGZI: I asked you if you heard what he said! SECOND ELDER SONG: Well, if there's some problem, let's talk it over. Please sit down. SONG ENZI: You don't talk and we'll lock you up too. He said "the Great Qing Empire is about done for". He's a follower of Tan Sitong. SECOND ELDER SONG: I...I heard him... What he said was.... SONG ENZI(to Fourth Elder Chang): Move! FOURTH ELDER CHANG: Where are we going? I demand an explanation. SONG ENZI: So you're going to resist arrest as well? Well, I've got "the Law" along with me. (Takes out a steel chain which he had around his waist.) FOURTH ELDER CHANG: I tell you, I'm a Manchu Bannerman! WU XIANGZI: When a Bannerman turns traitor, the crime is one degree more serious. Chain him! FOURTH ELDER CHANG: There's no need to chain me - I won't run away. SONG ENZI: You're damn right you won't! (To Second Elder Song.)* And you're coming along too. If you tell the truth in court we'll let you go. (Fatso Huang, with three or four others, emerges from the inner courtyard.) FATSO HUANG: Well, that's over, and everything turned out well, so it wasn't a waste of time coming. SECOND ELDER SONG: Elder Huang! Elder Huang! FATSO HUANG(rubbing his eyes): Who? SECOND ELDER SONG: It's me. Second-Born Song. Come over and put in a few good words for us. FATSO HUANG(seeing who it is): Yo! Elder Song. Elder Wu. Making an arrest, are you, gentlemen? Carry on. SECOND ELDER SONG: Elder Huang, help us out. Just a few words on our behalf. FATSO HUANG: Whatever the police can't handle, I look after, but when they can take care of things, I stay off. (Addresses the teahouse customers.)* Right? CUSTOMERS: Right! Right! (Song Enzi and Wu Xiangzi head for exit with Second Elder Song and Fourth Elder Chang.) SECOND ELDER SONG(to Wang Lifa): Take care of our bird cages. WANG LIFA: Don't worry. I'll have them sent home for you. (Fourth Elder Chang, Second Elder Song, Song Enzi and Wu Xiangzi go off.) FATSO HUANG(after being informed by Soothsayer Tang about Eunuch Pang's presence in the teahouse): Yo! You here too, Elder Pang? I hear you're taking a wife. My congratulations! EUNUCH PANG: You'll come to the banquet, won't you? FATSO HUANG: Thank you for doing me the honour. (Exits.) (Peasant Woman brings back the empty bowls and puts them on the counter. Little Girl enters.) LITTLE GIRL: Momma, I'm still hungry. WANG LIFA: Ai! Out you go. PEASANT WOMAN: Come, my baby. LITTLE GIRL: You're not going to sell me, Momma? Don't sell me, Momma. PEASANT WOMAN: My baby. (Crying, leads Little Girl off.) (Sixth-Born Kang returns leading Kang Shunzi. They stand in front of the counter.) SIXTH-BORN KANG: My daughter. Shunzi. Your father is not a man, he's a beast. But what else can I do? If we can't find a place that will feed you, you'll starve. And if I can't get hold of a few taels of silver, the landlord will grind me to death. You, ah! Shunzi. There's no other way. Please don't make things difficult. KANG SHUNZI: I...I....(Unable to speak.) POCKFACE LIU(hurrying over): Ah, you're back. You agree? Good! Come and meet His Excellency. Kowtow to His Excellency. KANG SHUNZI: I....(Faints.) SIXTH-BORN KANG(supporting her): Shunzi! Shunzi! POCKFACE LIU: Now what's wrong? SIXTH-BORN KANG: She's so hungry and distraught, she's fainted. Shunzi! Shunzi! EUNUCH PANG: I want something living - not a corpse. (The entire stage is quiet.) FIRST CUSTOMER(playing chess with Second Customer): Checkmate. You're finished! (Curtain)