I was in second year again. It was so strange. I thought I would be an outcast among my classmates. But during the very first lecture I saw so many familiar faces. I never knew so many were repeating. Aha, after all I was not alone. Naturally we clung together - all the repeat students. My fear of isolation was unfounded. Repeating wasn't such a frightful experience after all.
I worked harder than ever in my life. I tried to do all my tutorials. I even tried to outpace the lectures. I had to do it; I needed not just a pass but good grades to satisfy myself. But I didn't just work, I played too. I went back to my beloved computer. It was such a joy again to see flashing messages. There were more restrictions on the use of computer but still it was better than none. I talked to lots of people and made many friends. But now I was careful not to let my fantasies run wild. I became more realistic and perhaps a bit cynical.
Dan was my only love and he failed me so badly. I dared not try again. Really, it was too heart-wrenching to go through it all again.
I was in P41 again, indulging in yet all the nonsense. There were some idiots around, they kept teasing the girls. But it was all for fun, I didn't really take it seriously. There was this guy by the nickname of AL. He kept disturbing me the whole evening on P41. But too bad, I had to give tuition.
I always reached the campus very early in the morning. That was one of my good habits. I hate the morning rush. Among the crowds strange people sometimes could get too close to you. As usual, after my cup of morning tea I logged on, at the Cenlib. It was still very early and no one was around. There were few users on and I was contented to read whatever poetry there was to read. Nothing much to read so I went to P41. No one was around. Just as I was about to quit the screen quivered a trifle:
Hello baby!! - <**AL** >
Don't call me that. I am not ur baby! - <Yin >
Then hello sweet honey - <**AL** >
I am not tht either - <Yin >
Then who are you? Cutie pie? - <**AL** >
No lah, no more teasing me can or not? - <Yin >
Ok Ok, hello Yin!! - <**AL** >
Hi AL, why are u so early? - <Yin >
Yeap, I am early. Must do my project - <**AL** >
I c. Wht project are u doing? - <Yin >
How to explain to you? - <**AL** >
Nevermind - <Yin >
So few people, let me do a QNPP. See who else on - <**AL** >
So early, of course few pple. - <Yin >
Oh NO!! So you are Yin!! Wah, look so pretty - <**AL** >
Wht?? U saw me? - <Yin >
Hee hee, just turn to your right baby. I am in cenlib - <**AL** >
Oh NO!!!!!!! U ambush me! - <Yin >
By accident! Never know you would be here. - <**AL** >
I stayed on P41. I forgot about my tutorials and the essay I was supposed to do. How stupid of me! I missed my lunch too. It was 1 pm already!! I quickly made my exit. As I switched off the terminal, I turned to say bye to AL. He turned and smiled at me. I smiled too. And somehow my heart smiled too.
It was a long day. At long last my essay was completed. I heaved a sigh of relief. I moved to the terminal area. Oh lucky, there was an empty terminal. And gosh, he was still there at that corner.
Hungry now!! Think I better go off - <**AL** >
Hello all!! - <Yin >
Hello baby Yin - <**AL** >
Hello Yin Yin - <.Doggy. >
HELLO YIN!! - <<MACHO> >
Wht abt hungry? Me too is hungry - <Yin >
Aiya, AL said he hungry want to go makan - <.Doggy. >
But none of us interested leh - <<MACHO> >
Yin, you haven't taken dinner? - <**AL** >
AL: No money to eat. - <Yin >
Yin: Aiya ask AL to spend you lor - <.Doggy. >
Yin: Me also very hungry. Join me for dinner? - <**AL** >
AL: So pai say. - <Yin >
Yin: Where got such thing as pai say. Go lah.. - <.Doggy. >
Yin: Come on leh... - <**AL** >
AL: Now? - <Yin >
Yin: Yeap now - <**AL** >
AL: OK lor... - <Yin >
Bye bye you two! Have a nice romantic dinner! - <.Doggy. >
Bye you dirty doggy - <**AL** >
Bye all.. *smooch* - <Yin >
So, off we went. I just followed him.
He was driving a MAZDA 1.5 GT. I sat beside him in the front. The whole car was in a mess. But to me it was heaven. I could not remember the last time I sat in a car. And now in front! Moreover, there was this suave guy bringing me to dinner. I almost slapped myself for being so dreamy again. Perhaps I was too poor for too long, the materialistic character in me started to surface.
"Hmmm... what do you fancy for dinner?"
"Oh, anything will do."
"Come on, don't tell me that. Every girl I bring to dinner tells me that and each time after the dinner they would complain!"
"Really, I take anything."
"Hmm.. let me think... Shall we go to Denny's?"
"Yes, it is OK with me."
"Then good. Where are you staying?"
"Lengkok Bahru."
"Hmm isn't it near Bukit Merah?"
"Ya, that's right."
"How about you?"
"I?? I stay in Serangoon."
We talked the normal things that acquaintances talked. He was driving fast, changing lanes as he pleased, as if he owned the road. But he was a skillful driver. I felt safe in his hands.
We were in Denny's. It was around 8 pm and not too many people were around. The atmosphere was right. We had a hearty meal and we talked a lot. I was so surprised that I could talk so much to a stranger. But he was no stranger. He made me feel at ease. He made me laugh. I did not know if I was too sensitive but I noticed that he was staring at me in the eyes most of the times. When I looked back he would smile and turn his face slightly. I never felt so happy for a long time. The feeling was not very intense, but it was happiness no doubt. And there was a ticklish sensation tucking at my heart.
He sent me home. I was so happy. But I was realistic and not imagining things. I was contented to have such a nice companion, I was not asking for more. My experience with Dan told me to be careful. I told myself I would not allow myself to fall so easily again.
Days moved on. I talked to him often on the computer. And I saw him often too, sometimes for breakfast, sometimes for lunch or in certain instances, for dinner. We went shopping together, we went swimming, we went bowling and we went roaming the streets. But there was nothing between us.
I was in cenlib. I was on P41 again. AL wasn't around, so I was contented to just while away the hours. As usual there were stray messages coming in. And as usual I ignored them if I did not know the sender. But this one was different.
"Hello YIN!!"
"Yes, who is that?"
"You donno me but I know you!"
"How so unfair! Tell me who u are?"
"Wow, today in mini-skirt? And a red blouse?"
"Hey, who are u? U saw me?"
"Don't tell you first."
"U are so unfair. Tell me or I will simply ignore u."
"OK lor, just turn around. Be quick I am going off already."
Slowly I turned my head. I saw him switching off the terminal. He stood up and smiled at me. My heart gave a leap. I did not know the reason, there was something in him that was so terrifying. I did not know how to describe. He was very handsome and yet I found it so terrifying to look at him. My thoughts were broken. He waved and moved away like a bullet. I regained my composure and smiled at my too imaginative mind.
My work had improved. I was confident that I would pass the examination which was around the corner again. Financially I was OK too for most of the time I had free meals from AL. Sometimes I felt quite bad. I tried paying him a couple of times, but he always smiled and brushed it aside. There was nothing I could do but to make sure that we would not go to too expensive place to eat.
I still could not forget about that guy who was behind me that morning. I had a feeling that something bad was going to happen. I was terrified. My fears were not unfounded. I received his first mail!
Dearest Yin,
Sorry for being too... hmmm... what shall I say? Well to say it simply. I have been noticing you for a couple of weeks. Every time you logon in central library, I would choose the colour terminal so that I can look at you. It was so funny but I found that I enjoyed watching you at the terminal. You are so cute and pretty! I really mean it.
I know I am a bit crazy but I just want you to know I enjoy your presence. Well, I hope you don't mind. Will write to you again.
yours
There was a funny feeling swelling up in me. I felt a bit high and decided to reply.
Dear max,
I donno who u are but I am sort of flattered by wht u said. Really, I don't mind u sitting behind me as long as I have no idea abt it. Now that u told me u were watching me, I protest! Plse don't do it again.
... to be continued